Echo 7
by EalL
Summary: "...Being chosen for the CROSS Special Ops Group is supposed to mean that you're among the best the galaxy has to offer. But in the face of an enemy such as this, I feel dread, not honor. I'm a soldier, and a damn good one; but deep down, I'm just Derek Ezail - a man like any other...". Echo 7 is an original story set during the Reaper War, featuring a cast of Original Characters.
1. I - Farewell

**Chapter I - Farewell**

Elia has her back turned from me, facing a field of spikes as tall as a house. I call for her, but she just keeps standing there, looking far off in the distance and not acknowledging my presence. She's too focused on those constructs the Reapers impale people on; is she just watching them? No. Not watching. Admiring, worshipping. I fall to my knees and start to cry. I want her to turn around, to talk to me, to tell me she's alright. I shout her name again; and this time she does notice me and turns towards me. Her green eyes, gone; replaced by a blue iris, unlike anything a human eye could look like. I ask her what they've done to her.

Her answer is a gunshot to my head.

* * *

I've been staring at this wall for I don't know how long. The nightmare from which I woke up to a few minutes ago still has me shocked. Elia is still sleeping on the bed right beside me. She'd want me to go back to bed and get rested as much as I can; but I just can't – not after what I saw tonight. I've been having these nightmares recently; they're all different from each other but have one thing in common – her. I keep seeing her die in my dreams, every time it's a new and horrible way: killed by a Reaper, shot by a Marauder, Devoured by a Cannibal, burnt alive, turned into a Husk… Tonight was the worst one by far. I have barely seen those monsters on Alliance reports, yet they already appear in my nightmares

I stand up and walk to the window. I see dozens of ships drifting by in silence. Some are looking for safe harbor here on the Citadel, hoping they'll be safe here from the Reapers; others are patrolling, and their crews are all back to active duty. Unlike me.

In foresight, the Citadel didn't seem like a good place to seek refuge. When I moved here with Elia a couple of months ago I knew this was the best choice, but that it still wasn't going to be safe at all. But it has been spared by the Reapers for this first week, so I guess it's better than being on Earth. I was off-duty when the news about Aratoth came in, the day even the most skeptical of all understood that something was going on. I trusted what Shepard said since the beginning, and yet part of me held back, hoping that she was wrong somehow. Part of me wanted to believe that she had become untrustworthy, and for a while I was able to lie to myself.

But the report from the Bahak System changed it. And at a moment's notice, Elia and I packed everything and left for Citadel. I was preparing to get back to active duty aboard the SSV Berlin. But it didn't happen. I was needed somewhere else.

And now, six months later, I'm still here on the Citadel. All Alliance personnel is back to active duty. But the way I understand it, I'm not just a part of the Alliance anymore. The past two months saw a rather large military build-up from all species; they were trying to prepare for the Reapers. Useless, really; but it may have led to something interesting: several species had begun working on a project to assemble teams using the best of what each of them had to offer; hoping that cooperation will ultimately be what leads us to victory. That's why I was held back from joining the Berlin's crew – I was one of the candidates for this.

My omnitool pings, breaking the silence that engulfed me. I think I know what it is: I've been waiting for a message from Alliance Command since the fleets were mobilized. hopefully, they're telling me it's time to get off my ass.

My thoughts exactly.

**From: **_Alliance Command_

**Object: **_CSSO Program – SSV Verdun_

_Lieutenant-Commander Derek Ezail,_

_Your new ship, the Alliance Frigate SSV Verdun, assigned to the Cross Species Special Operations Group (CROSS) under the Callsign Echo 7, is departing from Dock D31 today. Your presence is requested at mid-day._

_Godspeed to you and your fellow crewmates._

_Admiral Steven Hackett, Alliance Command_

Mid-day. I still have some hours; but it might be better to wake Elia up to tell her about the news.

I walk from the window to the piano in the middle of the room; I put my hands on the keys and close my eyes. Suddenly I'm a kid again, playing that lonely, neglected piano under the old train station and hoping someone would take pity on me and - credit by credit - buy my dinner. When I open them, I know exactly what to play._ Nuvole Bianche_: An old human piano piece – Elia's favorite.

It's one of the pieces I know by heart. It's like my hands already know what I want them to do, and they do it for me. So I just relax, and let them work on their own. Never disturb an artist. About halfway through the piece, I turn my head to the left, and Elia is looking at me. I probably woke her up on the first notes, but she wanted more. She can never have enough of that melody.

Her left eye is covered by some of her blond hair, still messy. If you saw us from a distance you might not even tell we're related: our hair colors are complete opposites; we don't look that much alike… and frankly, our attitudes are quite different too. Mom used to say that Elia's the one that looks out of place; that our older brother Nick had my same black hair, and that I looked a lot like him when he was young. Our eyes tell the whole story though: the same deep green color and the same gaze. Pay attention to our eyes and they'll give away that she's my sister. As for Nick, I have to believe what mom used to tell me. I've never seen what he looked like when he was young; and I never met him while he was alive.

"Trying to wake me up gently, aren't you?". She asks before yawning and laying her back on the wall behind her bed, with a few pillows between it and her. I can see she knows something is up: I usually play the piano to wake her up nicely when I have to tell her something. "Guilty as charged", I reply. She smiles at me while moving her hair away from her face, "What is it that you have to tell me then?". I think she knows what I'm about to say, but she'd rather hear it from me. "I got a message from Alliance Command; I have to leave at mid-day". She tries her best to hold from crying; but it's stronger than her. A single tear rushes down her right cheek as she looks down. I stand up and reach her; holding her firmly in my arms. I'd like to reassure her in some way. '_I'll be back_', '_See you at the victory ceremony_'… she's already heard all those things. I've told her too many lies already; it's no time for lies now. I have nothing more to tell her. Instead, it's she who talks to me, "I knew it was going to happen, but… Just come back. I want to still have a brother after this war is over.". I want to comfort her, to tell her not to cry, to enjoy what little hours we have left. But no, I'm just voicelessly lost in her words. Luckily, she thinks the same thing. "Well, crying in bed won't solve anything, will it?". I shake my head. After all these years, she's used to saying goodbye when I leave for a mission. But this time we don't know what I'm facing, when I'll return, if I'll return and if we're ever going to see each other again. But if we say our farewells only with tears, it's just going to be worse. "Alright then, I'm starving. Apollo's?" she says before smiling at me, with her cheeks still wet.

"Apollo's it is"

* * *

I arrive at Dock D31 with Elia. Near the ship are who I assume to be my team members. Eight. Two asari, two turians, a quarian, and a salarian. The only other human in the bunch turns around and looks in my direction. He smiles and starts walking towards me. From this distance you could mistake him for my big brother; but just like with Elia, you need to look at the eyes – grey doesn't match with green. Although, if someone did mistake him for my brother, he wouldn't be totally wrong – in a sense, he is.

Jonas Kane. Other than Elia, he's the only person in this galaxy I trust. We met each other in the orphanage I was put in after my father died, twelve years ago. I was fifteen when that happened; Elia was twelve. The other children liked to pick on us for being newcomers, but not him. Jonas was the 'newcomer' before, he knew the struggle. He helped me in every way he could, and I trusted him with my life. One day I asked why he did all of this for me. "Father once said 'In the same dire situation, people survive best together'. He said they are 'words to live by'.", he replied.

And words to live by they were indeed.

That was always our plan. Stick together when the kids came to harass us. Stick together when things get grim. Never betrayed that way of thinking: not when the orphanage burnt to the ground, not when we were on the streets, not when he joined the Alliance when I was sixteen. We had a deal then. He'd send some money our way to keep us fed, and I would repay him when my career as a pianist would begin. He never wanted to be repaid, but I always felt in his debt. But that wasn't the case anyway, I never became a pianist, I messed it all up in a few minutes.

I snap back to reality. "Someone's late", he teases before hugging me. "Yeah well, the line at Apollo's was terrible." I reply. As he playfully shakes his head, Elia walks in "Bullshit, he just couldn't choose". We both chuckle at that. "Well, last meal at Apollo's before departure? I'd be undecided too." He says. We try to keep the conversation light-hearted, it's best this way.

We both turn our glance at the rest of the team. They're close, but not enough to hear us speak. "Yeah…", Jonas says looking back at me. "We have turians on the team. Two.". He knows I despise turians, but I do respect their militaristic abilities. They'll be an asset on the field, no doubt. It's what happens between missions that bothers me. "I expected that much", I say. "We'd be crazy to jump into hell without some turians. They're good at what they do, I'll give them that.". He grins. "Oh well, I guess it's not a problem then". I can hear some sarcasm in his tone, but I can't understand why. Is it because he thinks that I won't be able to restrain myself from getting into trouble with them. "What?" I ask. "Well I've been talking to them while you were 'in line at Apollo's'. One of them is the team leader."

Well, isn't it just great?

* * *

"Alright everyone". A voice comes from the ship, I look at the docks and see the Captain standing on the ramp going into the now open airlock. "Gather up, it's time to go.".

I look back at Elia, she's again trying to hold back her tears, but it seems to be working now.

She throws herself in my arms, her face against my chest. "It's alright.", I say. "I'll be back before you know it.". She knows it's not true. She knows the war won't be over so soon and I won't be back in a while. If I come back.

"Keep each other alive". She says. "One of you dies, I'll go after the other".

"Yes ma'am". I salute and she smiles. "Wouldn't want to see your reprisal".

"Just come back, Derek"

There are no tears in her eyes, yet when I start making my way to the ship, I notice my uniform is slightly wet on the part where she put her face.

* * *

We're all gathered up in the CIC of the ship. My other teammates look like fish out of the water, likely they've never been on an alliance ship before. I feel the same way, but it's not the ship. We just don't know what this will all mean. What we know so far is that we'll face tougher fights than other strike teams, but other than that we have no idea what we're going into. Is the fate of the galaxy resting on our very shoulders? Are we cannon fodder? Or are we just propaganda for cooperation? Being chosen for the CROSS Special Ops Group is supposed to mean that you're among the best the galaxy has to offer. But in the face of an enemy such as this, I feel dread, not honor. I'm a soldier, and a damn good one; but deep down, I'm just Derek Ezail - a man like any other.

"I'm Alexander Reed, captain of the SSV Verdun". The Captain's voice fills the previously silent room. "I'd like to welcome the CSSO Operatives assigned to our ship. As you know, this initiative aims at bringing together the best of the best, no matter what world they were born on. Seeing fighters from all corners of the galaxy standing side by side is already a great achievement, but it won't mean anything if we don't win this war.". I guess this means I have to keep my thoughts on the turians in check. I have no idea what their view on humans is, but I guess I can give them the benefit of the doubt. In any case, you can't be picky about your allies in this war, we'll suck it up. "We already have our first assignment. Yesterday several STG facilities on Sur'Kesh were raided by Cerberus forces. The salarians were able to repel the brunt of the attack, but the remaining hostiles have barricaded themselves in the only facility they were able to capture. We're on our way to Sur'Kesh now, we'll get there tomorrow. Report tomorrow morning at six for mission briefing. You're all dismissed". Once he finishes his welcoming speech, he walks away from the CIC and towards the bridge, likely going to speak to the pilot.

"Your quarters are on Deck 3. There's a room with four bunks and one with five. You do the math"

I turn my glance to see who spoke and see a man pointing at an elevator in the back of the CIC. I take a look at his uniform and understand that he's a commander, likely the second in command to Reed.

* * *

Jonas is in the same quarters as me, so is the male turian and the salarian. Apparently we're conveniently four males and four females, so we're split into the two rooms. Their room has the empty bunk. It's either convenience or the crew already knew who would come on board and did the math. I put my footlocker by my bunk and go back in the elevator. I look at the panel on the right and select _Deck 5: Armory_.

As the doors slide open I examine the deck. On the left, a large table, with a glass wall behind it containing several weapons, and eight crates with names written in a black marker. I walk to it and grab the one labeled _Ezail_. Inside is my armor, I'm about to take it out when a voice behind me interrupts me, "You checking your gear already? Mission's tomorrow". I turn around to see one of the ship's regular crew. The rank on his uniform says he's a lieutenant, but he looks quite young. Curly, auburn hair and a smile decorated by some bright, green eyes, with the same enthusiasm as the one you see on recruits. I'd say he is one, but the rank on his uniform tells a different story. "Well, my armor is experimental. I'd rather fix any issues now than hastily before the mission.". I reply "Oh. Well, that certainly isn't a bad idea. Lieutenant Desmond Caryll, by the way". "Derek Ezail" We shake hands and I go back to taking the armor out of the crate, but notice my gun is missing. I start looking at the left side of the wall, where all the weapons are stored, but can't find it. That's when I notice another crate behind the table labeled as _Echo 7_. I open it and find a bunch more weapons, not like the ones on the wall, these are higher grade, higher caliber, and require an expert hand to use properly.

A Black Widow, A Wraith… I recognize Jonas' N7 Valkyrie, with its shorter barrel and vented firing system. He's a genius when it comes to weapons. He modified his Valkyrie to shoot in full-auto, but that had repercussions on the firing system, and the long barrel made the weapon heavier and more awkward to control during long bursts. He shortened it and made an improvement to the firing system to control the heat generation and making the clip last longer.

I keep on looking in the crate and find my handgun eventually. It's a model of weapon I had never seen before. It was likely from the Terminus Systems, kept in a safe by a batarian slaver on his ship. Maybe he also had never seen a similar gun and wanted it as a trophy. I kept it after we raided his ship in the Traverse. It was possibly the worst handgun I had ever used. It was modeled after a very old human revolver. I heard they used to be great centuries ago as they had excellent impact, but mass accelerators have made that useless, I see. It was possibly an attempt to mix the old revolver with new technologies. A poor attempt. It was inaccurate, unreliable, and it needed at least four shots to take down a target's shields at the firing range. But Jonas was curious. He tinkered with it and transformed it in a proper hand cannon. He improved the stopping power incredibly and tweaked both the barrel and the firing system to make it almost as accurate as a sniper rifle. He said he tried to tweak the heat generation, but he had no idea how to work on the cylinder that held the clip inside. The hammer on it works automatically, so there's no need to pull it down manually after each shot; but it can be pulled down by hand nonetheless, allowing me to fan-fire it when the enemies get up close and personal.

I grab the gun and put it on the table with the left side up, showing the word _Hawk_ carved on the side. That was how I had named it, since I couldn't find any information on that model on both the extranet and the alliance databases. I grab the armor and start putting it on. It's an experimental combat armor designed to increase biotic potential as much as possible. It uses small plaques placed around the armor containing element zero to increase biotic power, but they need to be concealed as to not risk prolonged exposure to it. It's a light suit of armor, as carrying too much weight can hurt a biotic's recharge time due to exhaustion. The armor plating is almost irrelevant, as it is light and is only a cuirass, greaves, gauntlets and elbow guards, although their purpose is more to have a place to put more eezo plaques rather than actual protection. The enhanced biotic potential does a miracle job for barriers, but if those go down, the armor plating will do a poor job at keeping me alive, and if a bullet does hit a body part with no plating the under armor suit might as well not be there. Bottom line – avoid getting my barriers taken down.

I had forgotten the feel of the armor on my body and the gun in my hand after all that idle time on the Citadel, and even though we were about to be thrown into hell, it felt good to be back

I start making my way to the far end of the room, where the firing range awaits me. It's not large, maybe three or four firing positions, possibly to make place for the larger, closed room on its right. I'm not entirely sure what that is, although I figure it could be a Combat Simulator. On my way I spot workout stations on the sides of the deck. Several of the crew members have stopped momentarily to look at me, likely they've never seen this kind of armor. If they really are that curious, they're in for a treat.

I reach a firing position and load a thermal clip into my gun and unload it on the targets. Then I raise my right arm and a lance forms in my hand, I can feel the strength of the biotic field, which means the armor is working properly, but I check anyway to be sure. As I expected, the many plaques on my arms and the few in the chest piece all light up in the light-blue color typical of element zero.

Now that I know it's working, I dissolve the lance in my hand and turn around to head back to the armory itself, but I'm stopped in my tracks when I see most of the soldiers on the deck all lined up and looking at me. I can tell by their faces that the lance and the armor were both unknown to them.

I turn back towards the firing range and form another lance, but this time I throw it at one of the targets and knock down its shields in one blast. I then start to make my way back to the armory.

"Damn", I hear from behind me once I pass the group of people looking at me. I turn around once again and notice one of the soldiers looking at me, with her arms crossed and a smirk across her face. "Is that what I can look forward to once I become an N7 myself?". I can see she's joking, but I decide to answer her anyway. "Are you a biotic?". I say. "Yes sir, I am". She gets caught off guard by my answer, guess she wasn't expecting one.

"We'll see.", I say before stepping into the elevator.


	2. II - Initiation

**Chapter II – Initiation **

Before my eyes is the blurred out figure of a building's remains. The grey of the concrete is the predominant color, and the night sky is accentuating the dark shades from the few sources of light left. The darkness makes the fires near the debris stick out, and I can see blood on the rubble where it's illuminated. As I slowly pull myself up fear fills my mind. I'm alone in the middle of this, and I can distinguish figures of monsters lurking in the shadows. They don't know I'm here; it's likely they're looking for me though. I don't even have the time to consider hiding when I hear a familiar voice from the rubble: "Derek!". It's Elia.

I rush towards the collapsed building, barely making two steps before a sharp pain at my right leg stops me on my tracks. "Derek!". I trip to the ground, cutting my arm against a metal scrap on the ground. I don't give it any thought, though, as I gather what forces I have left to crawl my way up. "Derek!". The debris seems to go up forever. Finally I find where the screams are coming from. I start digging, throwing pieces of concrete behind me. Their noise is heard by the creatures, and I hear them starting to come after me. But I don't even look back. I keep going.

I find her. Her face, pale; her strength, gone. Her empty eyes looking straight up to the skies, her nose dripping with blood. "Derek…", She whispers before her breath fades away. I hear noises right behind me. They found me. I don't even turn around, and a loud blast is immediately followed by a scream. My scream.

* * *

Jonas is right beside my bunk. "Hey. Hey! Snap out of it." I'm not screaming, but I am trembling; desperately trying to get my bearings and distinguish what's real and what wasn't. As I begin making a sense of what happened and wear off the shock, I slowly stop trembling. "Fucking hell, Derek". He sighs. "You scared the shit outta me!". I don't reply, I'm still confused. I'm starting to get used to these dreams; even once I'm calm, it takes a little bit until I can concentrate on anything. "Elia again?". I respond with a slight nod, while my glance is still fixed on the ceiling. He looks down, "It's the sixth time, Derek. You're starting to have me worried.", he says before sitting back on his bunk. "Seventh", I correct him. My voice is weak, and one word is all I can do.

"You didn't tell me about it.". I remain silent again. He's right; I should talk to this with someone, and he's the only one I trust except Elia. and Elia I can't tell about this. "Later.". He sighs. He wants me to tell him about it, for my own sake; But he understands why I won't. He'll let me, just this once. But he'll want to hear more sooner or later. My voice is slowly coming back to me, and the shock is starting to vanish. "When's the briefing?", I ask. "Two hours. You'd better get up.".

Not like I can fall back asleep.

* * *

I make my way back to the elevator and descend to Deck 5. The briefing won't start before a few hours, so it might be a good idea to do some 'warm-up'. I'm suiting up when Jonas steps out of the elevator with the female turian and the salarian. "What are you up to?", he asks. I shrug and answer, "I'm not sure. Pass the time, get ready… I'm undecided, really." He turns around and points in a certain direction. "That's it, right?". The female turian steps in and looks the same way. I do too, and at the far end of the room I see what I believed to be the Combat Simulator. The turian then answers Jonas' question, "Yes, that's it.". I'm about to ask them what they're talking about, but the salarian starts speaking before I get the chance, "Holo projections, sensible to physical contact. Energy stun bolts. Seen this model before. Basic, but highly functional.". Jonas looks at me. "Derek" he says turning towards the turian "Hatris Karium, our combat specialist" She greets me with a slight nod "And this is Sorek Lidon. Scientist, engineer, and combat medic.". He doesn't greet, he keeps looking at the Simulator with a hand closed in front of his mouth, trying to figure out more on how it works, possibly. "Hatris told me there was a Combat Simulator down here. Question is, is it working?". Another voice joins in, "It is.". It's Caryll, the soldier I spoke to yesterday by the armory when I was getting my gear. "And you're more than welcome to it."

We approach it, stopping by the door that leads inside the simulator itself. "We thought of doing turns on it.", says Karium. "Care to be our guinea pig, Derek?" finishes Jonas. I nod and am about to walk in when Caryll stops me. "Wait a second." He points to another soldier training at the firing range. "That's Khai Scheln, Squad leader for Strike Team 1. He constantly brags about his team being better than mine, and about getting the highest score in the simulator. 32 projections before being gunned down. Could you show him he's not boss here anymore?". I guess there's something of a rivalry between Strike Teams 1 and 2 and looking at the soldiers' faces it must be keeping morale up. "Can do.", I reply before stepping in. "Oh, this is gonna be fun" I hear him say before the doors slide closed.

The room is empty and slightly dark. Then out of the floors some walls come out, likely to be used as cover. I switch off the safety from my gun and get ready. I turn on my sentry interface and set it to play _Immigrant Song_ in my audio feed. A projection appears in front of me and immediately fires an energy bolt at me. I dodge it and fire a single shot that destroys it. Three more appear where I shot the first, and I sprint back to use one of the walls behind me as cover. As I turn around the corner, a projection from behind the wall rushes me and tries to hit me with the butt of its holographic rifle. I duck to the right and fire a bullet in its side. Now that it's clear, I use the wall as cover and peek to see the situation. The three that had appeared are still one close to the other, with one more getting close to them from the right. I throw down a Singularity followed by a Lance and take them all out with a biotic explosion. The score marks seven kills, so I assume that the shockwave from the detonation killed another one in cover. I sprint to the side of the room I have just cleared, taking out two more on the right with my gun, and one more on the left. I only have one shot left in the clip, so I change to a fresh one. I slide out of cover into the middle of the arena and fire my gun against three more targets, missing a bullet on the second one, catching an energy bolt in the chest, which my barriers absorb with no issue; I'm again low on ammo, though. The song ends and it automatically switches to _Seven Seas of Rhye_. Not the best for combat, but it'll do.

I continue like that for a good twenty minutes; going through rounds, projections, and songs until the score marks fifty-seven. Caryll is probably already satisfied, but it's not truly why I'm here. I try to run from one side to another again, but this time a projection throws itself on top of me, knocking me down. I shoot him at point-blank and stand up. "Yeah", I mumble to myself, "Definitely sensible to physical contact, I don't have time to fully get bearings, and I only need a quick glance to realize that I'm surrounded. I fire the five shots left and kill four enemies. I'm out of ammo, in an unfavorable position, surrounded by enemies, and my barriers are failing. It's over. I jump up high with the help of biotics and fall down, slamming my fist on the ground and creating a large blast that takes out some more enemies. I form a lance and throw it at a projection, disintegrating it. I'm about to form another one when my barriers fail. I feel a sharp pain at my thigh, like being stung by a wasp, and twice more on my chest. All the projections disappear and the covers go back in the floor. I'm dead, and I took sixty-seven enemies with me.

The following hour is spent watching others try the simulator out. Karium walks in with a highly modified Phaeston rifle, handling it like she's been born with it. She comes out with a score of sixty-one. Then Lidon and his drones with fifty-four and Jonas with seventy. He got himself in quite a few sticky situations, but as long as the shots were coming from only one direction, his omnishield would laugh at those tiny energy bolts. Redinum Corthias, the male, older looking turian who happens to be my team leader is surprisingly using a human weapon: an N7 Typhoon. He comes out with the highest score of seventy-nine, which is then beaten by one of the two asari: Sidia T'Rodae, with eighty-six. She's apparently an expert in close-quarter combat, and it looks like she's dancing on the battlefield. Moving with grace, like she memorized every step she'll take in the fight before it happens. That was while she was using her daggers at least – she suddenly became a savage when she took out her shotgun. The other asari, Jhevia T'Scoris, doesn't miss a single shot; but her sniper rifle isn't the best choice for close quarters, and she gets eliminated with a score of only forty. The quarian just watches in silence. After several attempts from the crew to persuade her to try it, out she walks in, taps on her omnitool for a few seconds, and before the projections are up she gets a score of 999.

And without having spoken to her once, I immediately understand her role here.

* * *

A hologram of the STG facility appears in the middle of the CIC. Commander Dallas, the captain's second in command starts explaining the plan to us. "This is Salit Base. The remaining Cerberus forces on the planet have bunkered in here. You'll be deployed on the rooftop, on either side of which are towers with Anti-Aircraft guns reprogrammed by Cerberus. The salarians will use a security program that will shut the guns down, but it'll just be a few seconds until the Cerberus reprogramming overrides the command. That's when you come in. Strike Team 1 and 2 will enter the eastern and western guns' control room respectively and shut them down for good." The projection of the elevator on the opposite side of the landing zone lights up in red "Echo 7, your job will be to hold off any enemy reinforcements coming to the rooftop. The elevator and nearby stairs should be their only access points, but we don't know if they have found any other. Once the guns are offline, the three teams will regroup with salarian reinforcements and clear out all remaining hostiles in the base."

The hologram disappears "Any questions?". I hear a voice from the soldier in charge of Team 1, Scheln. "Sir, does Cerberus have any air support?". "STG reports all Cerberus gunships to have been shot down and the few in Salit base are not in shape to fly. Any more questions?". The room is silent. Dallas invites Corthias to speak a few words. He tells us he's honored to be leading a group of each species' best and brightest, and that this is a great step towards the future. A future where no matter what we think about each other, we all work together, and seize our true potential. I start examining him. He has the face of someone that has been in many battles, with a bunch of scars all around his face almost decorating the area around the main, larger one going from his left eye to his cheek. He has a very dark skin tone; and the left side of his face is painted black, which brings out the scar even more. His face also seems to tell his approximate age; a man who's never seen a turian his whole life could tell he looks old. I don't know what kind of leader he is, if a good one. I trust that the people who put him in charge did so for a reason, but it still doesn't make me feel that well about having a turian as my boss. He does look experienced, though; I'll give him that.

He ends his speech by telling us he'll meet us aboard the shuttle. "Ezail, right?" I turn around to see the two asari talking to me. "Sidia T'Rodae, and this is Matriarch Jhevia T'Scoris.". The other one playfully hits her shoulder and continues, "Don't mind her, she likes to tease. In any case, since we three are the biotics on the team, we wanted to figure out who was going to handle barriers. Or, to be honest, ask you to handle them. I'm a sniper and she likes to get up close and personal with the enemy. We can keep a barrier up, sure, but we're more efficient in our roles."

"It's alright." I answer, "I can handle them". T'Rodae nods and starts walking towards the elevator, T'Scoris looks at her while shaking her head, then thanks me and joins her.

The elevator is full, leaving me and another soldier waiting for it to come back empty. "Once the guns are down I can handle barriers, if you'd like." I turn around and I recognize her. Short, auburn hair, with a longer lock falling on the left side of her face, slightly covering one of her blue eyes. She's the one who joked about getting the N7 status yesterday after I threw the lance at the firing range. "I can tell you're not really a fan of it, so I can do it once we regroup. They're kind of me specialty," she says in her subtle, barely perceptible Scottish accent. Her words bring me relief: I'm also 'more effective in my role', and it's definitely not making barriers. "Thanks," I say.

"Gunnery Sergeant Rachel Dani, by the way. Strike Team 2". Her getting the N7 status actually doesn't seem that absurd, now that I know her rank. She's young, so she has plenty of time to get better if she lives through this war. And if she was deemed capable of serving alongside a CROSS SOG Squad, maybe there's something to it. "Derek Ezail. Pleasure to meet you Dani" The elevator doors open and we step in. She selects _Deck 5: Armory_ on the elevator terminal. "Just call me Rachel.". I usually tend to keep stuff professional between fellow soldiers, Jonas is really the only one I call by name. I agree to it, though, and ask why. "When someone says 'Dani' aboard this ship, they're referring to me sister, Julia. So everyone just calls me Rachel.". She seems rather outgoing; the opposite of me, really; but I guess being called by name kind of fits her character. "Your sister serves on this ship?". She nods. "Big sister, just by two years though. Like me, part of the original crew aboard this ship. Never shuts up about her rank being higher than mine. And in return I remind her that she's just a puny mortal with no biotics.". I did spot someone who looks similar to Rachel with the corner of my eye, yesterday; but I didn't give it much thought. The ranks on her uniform stated her rank to be that of a Lieutenant, if I recall. But I'm curious about what she said about being part of the 'original crew'. "Well, three or four months ago several marines were reassigned, and replacements were sent.", she explains, "We thought it was only just a normal reassignment, but something didn't add up. We had never had so many marines substituted all at once. One every now and then, sure, but never like this. They left the higher ranks here; and the 'new guys', like Scheln, were also all high-ranking. We only later got told about the initiative and the need for good soldiers aboard. I was thrilled to have been seen as worthy. Julia wasn't - she used to lead Strike Team 1, but Scheln 'took over'.

The elevator doors slide open again and we're in the armory. Jonas is already gearing up, so I join him in the armory. Both Strike Teams are gearing up in the same place, and one of them is playing _Back in Black_ out loud with his omnitool. Considering how much time I spent idle on the citadel, it's actually quite the coincidence. I grab the crate containing my armor, open it, and start putting it on. There's something different about it. Like the thrill of finally going back into action makes it feel different from how it felt yesterday and this morning, when it was only for training. Once I'm done I grab my gun and some thermal clips and start making my way back to the elevator to descend to the shuttle bay, on the sixth deck.

* * *

"Shutting the guns down in three… two… one… that's it. Echo 7 you're all clear, begin descent.", the salarian's voice on the comms says before our shuttles approach the base. The doors open with the shuttle floating a meter from the floor. We jump down at the same time as the other two teams, who immediately head to their assigned AA gun as the shuttles escape the guns' range before they become operational again. Cerberus has them back up faster than expected, and they fire some shots, none of which find their target. but when we contact the pilots to confirm their status, we get static instead of an answer. We begin to worry when the same thing happens while trying to contact the Strike Teams. But there's no time to figure out what's going on – a team of Cerberus troopers has already come out of the elevator on the northern side of the rooftop. I fire my gun and throw some lances, killing some of them, even though most of the hostiles are cut down by a stream of bullets coming out of Corthias' Typhoon. The second team comes, then the third, we deal with them easily each time. It seems far too easy, like something is wrong… I'm about to warn my team that something may be up, but they figure it out by themselves when two gunships reach the northern side and begin firing on us.

Without even thinking about it I put a biotic barrier up to protect the rest of the team. "Do we have any heavy weapons?", shouts Corthias. I don't. And I'm sure nobody else does. "We need to make sure at least one of the guns doesn't go offline", Lidon says. At first, nobody understands his intentions, until he explains. "If you can cover me while I go inside a control room I may be able to reprogram it to fire at them.". Getting him to a tower under so much fire will be a challenge, but the gamble may pay off. "Any other suggestions?", asks Redinum. Nobody answers. "We'll go with his plan then. Ezail, protect him with a barrier and go with him.". I'm rather surprised that he already knows my name. Maybe he got some dossiers on us being the squad leader. I'd ask him, but we're all a little busy right now. "Understood, sir." I reply "Who's going to protect you from the gunships?" One of the two asari speaks "T'Rodae and I can do it, but you need to move fast".

This whole plan went south rather quickly.

Lidon starts running towards the eastern tower as I put the barrier up. We both reach the control room and meet with Strike Team 1. "What the hell are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to keep Cerberus off us?", says Scheln. "No time. Need to reprogram targeting system. Destroy gunships. We're all dead otherwise." Lidon says while walking towards the terminal, moving the soldier previously working on it to the side. "What happened to radio contact?", I ask Scheln while we wait for Lidon to finish working on the gun. "Communication scrambler. Only possible assumption. Possibly located deep in facility. Will need to destroy.". Sorek answers my question without breaking eye contact with the terminal. "Makes sense".

"How long is it going to take, Lidon?", asks Scheln. "Nearly done. Ezail, suggest going back to the team. Help with barriers."

I rush back to the team. The gunships are focusing fire on the barrier. T'Rodae is sitting down to rest before her next turns comes; but she's in no shape to hold it right now, and I can tell that her friend isn't going to last much longer. The gunships don't notice me until I've already reached the team and put up a new barrier. T'Scoris sits down to rest a bit, but still moves to cover in case my barrier falls. The gunships are spitting out a formidable amount of fire. If Lidon doesn't finish soon, we'll be gunned down. I notice the elevator is blocked, apparently, the quarian hacked it so that Cerberus can't get reinforcements from there. The few troopers coming are getting here via the stairs, and are easily being gunned down by the rest of the team. The barrier can be shot through from the inside, so it gives us an enormous advantage against ground troops, but the gunships are the problem.

The stream of fire continues for long. I'm about to fall down myself. Exhaustion is the worst that can happen to you while keeping a barrier up, and I'm not going to hold much longer. All other biotics on the team are exhausted. If I fall, there'll be nothing between the gunships and us. The gunships stop firing. I'm relieved. _I have a second to catch my breath_, I think. _Maybe I can do this_. But I don't have time to do so. And I realize that when four missiles fly towards me.

I block them. I knew I would. Somehow I'm still up, and I'm able to see Strike Team 1 and Lidon rush away from the eastern tower, which after a few seconds fires and blows up the gunship on the right. The other gunship fires a salvo of missiles at the gun, which doesn't reach it in time to prevent it from blowing the gunship's tail away. The gunship starts going down. In its last few moments in the air, it fires three more missiles at us. It's spinning, so the third one misses us. But the first two are headed right for us, and I have to stop them. I can't create another barrier strong enough to stop both, so my best bet is to redirect them. I could just aim them higher so that they overshoot us… or… I start turning them around, trying to send them against the last few troopers on the northern side, but halfway through the maneuver I feel my legs shaking too hard, and before I know it I'm on the ground. _Oh well_, I think, _At least I shot the missiles away from us… but where_. I hear an explosion, and tilt my head from where I heard it, even though my hearing is muffled. My previous relief turns to dread as I see the missiles have impacted on the western tower, causing it to collapse.

With Team 2 still inside.

* * *

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	3. III - Guilt

**Chapter III – Guilt**

I can see with the corners of my eyes some of my teammates rushing to the collapsed tower to try and dig out the members of Strike Team 2. Jonas and Lidon are kneeling over me. They give me some medigel and – even if it does make me feel a little bit better – it's not the right treatment for exhaustion; so I still can't stand up. Lidon examines me to understand what's wrong with me and administers what I think to be a stimulant. Jonas stays to watch over me; and slowly but surely my vision is less blurry and I try standing with his help. I'm clinging onto him not to fall while I walk. I raise my glance just in time to watch four marines crawling out of the rubble. I see Caryll brushing some dust off of himself while speaking a few words to Corthias; my hearing is still muffled though, and I can't make out what they're saying.

There's something I can notice, however. Four marines got out of the rubble, the fifth is still missing. Once Caryll has finished talking with Corthias, Scheln and him rush back to the pile of rubble and begin scanning the debris. After a bit, Scheln finds something; and the two digging with the help of Strike Team 1's biotic.

As I finish getting my bearings and begin standing without Jonas' help, Corthias approaches me. All the effort I put back into recovering is almost erased by a punch to the face. I fall to my knees and put a hand on the ground to keep balance, the other where the punch hit me. "What the hell was that, Ezail?". I try to get back on my feet while he towers over me. Eventually I stand back up and answer, "I got cocky, sir. I tried to redirect the missiles.". He almost kills me with his stare. "Towards the fucking tower?". I try to keep my tone of voice calm and listen to what he says; I've already screwed up, better not to pour gas on the fire, "No sir. I tried to send them against the last few hostiles.". I spit out some blood. "And couldn't you just raise them up to overshoot us?". He's right. I could've. "As I said sir, I got cocky.". He turns his back to me and walks the other way, then stops and turns around again. "Come with me, Ezail.". I follow him to the pile of debris right in time to see the rest of the marines digging out Rachel. Corthias looks at me and speaks in an aggressive tone, "That's what happens when you fuck up, Lieutenant-Commander.". She's still alive, but she's in bad shape. Her sister, Julia, rushes towards her to make sure she's alright; but their conversation is cut short by the sound of the STG shuttles landing on the rooftop. Corthias immediately approaches one of them and asks them to bring Rachel back to the Verdun. They oblige and some of their soldiers start carrying her toward the shuttle. As they pass near me, Rachel notices me and mutters a few words: "Sorry. Looks like you'll have to keep handling barriers.". What she said goes over my head, I'm more concerned about how she looks. Her face, pale; her strength, gone. Her nose dripping with blood. She looks exactly like Elia did in tonight's nightmare.

* * *

We stop to make a quick assessment of the situation. All teams are at full operating capacity, except Strike Team 2. According to previous STG survey data it looks like we've already dealt with a large part of the hostiles in the base. "We can't just go in there. We need to stick together and be careful. This could get rough.". Says Jonas. I know that tone of voice, he's working something out. "We've dealt with most of them. It should be easy.", says Caryll. "That's exactly why we can't take the risk of going without a plan. Their numbers are thin, they're facing an elite force and they have no way out. Therefore..." "… They know they won't get out alive…". Corthias finishes his sentence while nodding. "Exactly. And they won't allow themselves to get captured. They'll try to inflict as many casualties as possible on us before being wiped out.". Corthias gives him a look of approval. "Excellent thinking, Kane. But we still need a plan.". Jonas nods. We know what we're up against but we don't know how to face it. "Could use decoy.", Lidon says while looking off in the distance. "Use one to attract any ambushes.". "Could work. But it's not enough.", Corthias points out. I agree with him: if it were to actually work, it would just give us a few seconds and the approximate location of the enemy. And it might not even work all the time. "The decoy might be a good plan. But it's not foolproof." I say. "We need a backup in case it doesn't work.". Corthias looks at me, his gaze still full with disapproval and anger, "I don't think you can throw missiles back at them if the decoy doesn't work, can you. You're walking on thin ice after that fiasco. Do you have an idea worth our time or not?". I'm about to shake my head when Jonas speaks. "I don't think we need something that grants us better offensive capabilities. We have already established that they'll sacrifice themselves to inflict as many casualties as they can, we need something to defend us from them.". Corthias turns towards him. "Such as?". Derek is silent for a bit, probably still thinking about his answer. "Such as a testudo."

Everyone turns towards him, with a look of curiosity. The members of Team 1 and 2 start mumbling something between themselves, asking if it could work. The STG members and the rest of my team however have a look on their faces that implies they have no idea what that is. Only T'Scoris, the older asari seems to have understood. "What's that?", asks Corthias, trying both to understand what that is and if it could work. "Testudo. It's an ancient human military formation. Every soldier would stay close to one another and put a shield up, allowing them to move with little chance of being hit by arrows. If we stay packed together we might do something similar with a small barrier.". The stimulant that Lidon gave me had its effect, although I don't know how much longer it's going to last. I think I can hold a barrier up for long enough for us to move through the facility. "We'd be moving slowly, but surely. Lidon sends out a decoy, and if it fails we're protected.", Jonas adds. Corthias chuckles "So we have a plan. Good. Ezail, are you up for this?". I can tell that he's not a huge fan of the idea of having to be protected by me, after that fiasco with the missiles. "I should be able to.", I answer. "But I don't know how much the stimulant's effect will last.". Lidon answers me, "Human physiology? Maybe thirty minutes. Less under great physical stress. Integrated with other stimulants, however: should last two to three hours. Suggest resting when back to ship.". Well then. I hold the barrier, they shoot. Just like earlier. Frankly, I wish I didn't get Rachel injured, I hate barriers. "Alright everyone, let's move. Ezail, keep that bubble up. No tricks.".

* * *

We start moving forward, slowly. At every corner of a room or interception with other corridors, Lidon sends a decoy out. It works the first time, when we reach the first room. The decoy is destroyed by a bullet coming from the left corner. "Karium, grenade.", Corthias whispers. She throws one down the hallway, and it lands perfectly in the corner where the bullet came from "Grenade!", we hear before the blast. Blood stains the walls and we walk in. A few troopers come from the left door and into the room. They start shooting at the barrier; but I block those shots without any problems; and the hostiles are taken care of in a matter of seconds. "Ezail", I hear calling from behind me. "Take us over there". Lidon points at a device lying next to a terminal. "Communication scrambler". We move towards it and he overloads it. In a few seconds we hear something on the radio. "…Repeat. Echo 7, this is the SSV Verdun, do you copy?". Commander Dallas' voice. They have no idea what's going on "SSV Verdun, this is Commander Corthias. Can you hear us?". We hear a sigh of relief on the radio channel. "Commander, we were unable to contact you since you landed on the rooftop. Give me a sitrep." "We were attacked by Cerberus using STG Gunships. We reprogrammed the AA guns to take them down. We were successful, but they fired missiles at them before being taken down." _Fired at them? At one of them maybe. I destroyed the second one_. "We are now moving deeper into the base.". Dallas' voice starts getting calmer, but still worried, "Any friendlies KIA?". _One, possibly. On me_. "None.", answers Caryll. "But Gunnery Sergeant Dani is WIA, we sent a shuttle to bring her back to the ship. Is she there?". "Affirmative, Lieutenant. We wanted to understand what happened but she's unconscious. She's in the med bay." _So she did get worse_. Another chill goes up my spine. Have I really killed her?"

"Understood, sir. We're moving on."

* * *

Jonas' plan of testudo assisted by decoys works perfectly. Whenever we do get fired upon, the enemies are eliminated before they even become a threat to the team. Only once did the barrier actually take somewhat of a beating, when some Cerberus troopers started throwing grenades at them. But once again, they were taken down before I even felt the barrier weakening. Although I am beginning to feel a little tired. From there, the quarian and Lidon reactivate all security systems, which don't detect any more hostiles remaining. "STG will take it from here.", says a salarian. My legs start trembling again, and my vision is blurred. "Lidon…" It's becoming hard to stand up. "How… how long did you say the stimulant would last?"

Lidon looks at me, he sees I'm having complications due to exhaustion. "Two to three hours, less under physical effort. Unless…". Before he finishes, I fall down, my vision is blurred and my hearing is muffled again. "Unless miscalculated dose.". I only hear this before I black out.

* * *

I wake up in a white room. I put my hands on my chest and arms, and the armor isn't there. Only the under armor is. My team must've carried me back onto the ship while I was unconscious and taken it off me. I must be in the medbay now. I look in front of me and see someone; his suit points out that he's one of the medical staff here on the ship. He's working at his terminal. I move my head to the left side and see some empty beds. I move it to my right and regret it. I see Rachel, still unconscious. Her armor was taken off too, giving me a first seat view on a rather large wound on her abdomen. I see another bandaged wound on her left side, and several cuts and bruises all over her body and face. Her shirt is lying on the floor beside her bed, dirty and soaked with blood. "Hey. You're finally awake.".

I turn around and see the doctor standing up from the desk and coming to check on me. "How are you feeling?". _Guilty_, I think. _That's how I'm feeling_. "Still tired." is my answer, though. "How is she doing?". I fear what the answer can be, but I can't be blind to the truth that she may die, just as I can't be blind towards the fact that it's my fault. "Could be worse: she has multiple lacerations on the upper body caused by debris; a bad concussion and a slight fracture to the leg, although we already fixed that. She should be back on duty in a week, maybe two.". I nod while staring at a wall. I only have one question for him, "Will she make it?". The doctor nods, and I feel like tons of weight suddenly get off from my shoulders. "We tended to her wounds, fixed her leg, and now we're waiting for the concussion to wear off. I was told a building collapsed on her. Could have been much worse.". My tone of voice suddenly turns slightly aggressive, and I don't even notice at first, "Could have been much better. I'm the one who made it collapse. I got cocky and lost control on some rockets I was redirecting. They hit the building.". He stays silent for a bit, then finds something to say, but he might as well say nothing. He can't really make me feel any better. "I see. I'm sure it wasn't your fault." _It was. _"You should get some more sleep". He says before walking out of the med bay

I doubt I'll be able to, but there is no harm in trying. "I wonder where the hell he got his medical education.". A voice from my right. It's Rachel. "I mean, 'two weeks'? I could get back to it in two days.". Hearing her voice reassures me. "No doubt about it. You'll be fine". She smiles. "So, a building fell on my head. What happened to you?". I'm not injured, really. It seems stupid to talk about being tired to someone who's still speaking after an entire tower collapsed on her. "Exhaustion. I had to protect my team from the gunships. Lidon gave me a stimulant but he miscalculated the dose. I passed out shortly after we finished the mission.". She chuckles. "Well, I hardly know what happened to me; and only because I was told. One second I was deactivating that damn AA gun, the next everything fell on me. Did the gunship fire at the tower?" What now? I can't lie, but telling her I almost killed her also doesn't seem that bright an idea. But she deserves the truth, and she'd learn what happened sooner or later anyway. "No. I did.".

She turns towards me, shocked. "What?". I explain what happened, and that it's my fault she almost died. I expect her to snap at me, and I wouldn't blame her. Instead, she just laughs and says: "Does that mean I survived an attack from an N7?"

I'm surprised she's in the mood for jokes after I told her I almost murdered her. "Yes, it does.", I say, playing the same game. "Damn, I'm good.". It must take quite the effort to laugh in her conditions. "That other woman who came to talk to you when they got you out. Is she Julia?". She looks at me. "Oh, yes. She's the puny human who came to check on me."

"Puny human, is it?". She sniggers, "Yeah. I mean, she may be higher rank; but moving stuff with your mind? Come on, that's way cooler." I chuckle too. She's right, I don't know where without my biotics. "That weird biotic thing you do.", she asks. "I had never seen it before.". Is she talking about my lances? She might be, they're rare. "You mean the one I used at the firing range yesterday?" She nods. "It's called a Lance. It's not really that popular of a technique; not really useful unless you get really good at it."

"How does it work?".

"It's like a warp field. But you need to physically throw it to accelerate it at a speed great enough to let it impact with such strength. it's hard to master; and it's basically useless unless you do. And once you've learned the technique, you need to work on your aim. But once you get good at it, they become deadlier than any weapon. They're powerful, fast, and suitable for all situations.". I must've gotten her curious: she asks me to teach her right after. I could, but she probably won't be ready to use them in actual combat for a while, but I guess there's no harm in trying. "As soon as you're on your feet, Rachel.".

"It won't be long. Don't worry."


	4. IV - Dreadful Memories

**Chapter IV – Dreadful Memories – **

Three days have passed since the mission on Sur'Kesh. From what we've learned from Alliance Command, all species who participated in the project are satisfied with our work; having carried out the mission without any casualties. Some other CROSS teams were less fortunate, but they still came out victorious and with few KIA. We've already received our next assignment, and from what I've heard it's a massive step forward in both importance and danger. We didn't get many details, but it seems a few days from now we'll deploy on Menae. We're going deep in enemy territory, surrounded by both Reapers and turians. I don't think it could be any worse.

I've recovered rather well in these last few days; but then again, it was only exhaustion. Rachel is also getting better from what I hear. Her body accepted the cybernetics fixing the fracture at her leg seamlessly, and the wounds have been closed. She just needs to rest, but she's eager to get back up and fighting; she might be ready in time to deploy with us on Menae. I've been spending more and more time in the Combat Simulator, but I've never been able to beat my score of 67, the closest I got being 62. The others have been trying out another of its feature. The 'Overrun' setting: it sets up a fixed number of opponents; but instead of deploying the projections slowly, a handful appears every few seconds. Before you know it, you're overrun; just like the name implies. So far no one has beaten this mode, but I have to admit watching Corthias and Karium fail over and over again is rather amusing.

* * *

Jonas is talking to Lidon and the quarian. They're trying to figure out a way to tweak his omnishield even further than he has already done by himself. I approach the armory where they're working and get my gear. On the other side of the room, I see the Simulator running. The two asari are watching from the outside, so I'm guessing the turians are in there. "When will they learn that they can't beat that thing?", I tell Jonas. "I don't know. They understand that the winning strategy is teamwork, but it's not working that well for them.". The quarian turns her omnitool on and links it with Jonas'. "By the way Derek, this is Taria. Don't think you two have met yet.". She turns her head towards me and we shake hands. "Taria'Nari vas Idenna nar Rayya. Delighted to meet you, Ezail.". I hadn't seen her talking with anyone ever since we got on board, she always kept to herself. I am quite curious why a quarian is here, I didn't think the Migrant Fleet agreed to this project. "They didn't", she replies when I ask. "I'm not really a part of the Fleet anymore. They didn't like my views on the geth, and were basically waiting for an excuse to exile me.". I had never spoken to a quarian before. I find it rather difficult to talk to someone whose face I can't see. At least their voice does give you a hint on their emotion – better than elcor, I guess – but I'm used to reading it people's faces. "And what happened in the end.", I ask. "I left. Technically I was never exiled, so I could go back. But I have no intention of doing so. I volunteered for the CROSS Group, and I was considered good enough to join. So here I am.". The program was to be kept hidden until it was finally approved. Even I wasn't told until the teams were assembled. "How did you learn about the program? I thought it was supposed to be a secret until it was ready.".

"And I thought secrets were not so easily accessible.".

* * *

"Told you. No one was able to beat it.". Karium says before leaning forward and placing her arms on the workbench, "Not me, not Corthias, not T'Rodae…". She shrugs as if to say 'it's unbeatable'. Jonas chuckles before answering, "Taria did.". She grins and shakes her head, "Sure she did.". Jonas turns back towards me and we both get back to fixing his armor. He took a few grazing shots while his shields were down; he wasn't hurt, but his armor was not as 'good looking' according to him. We have the time to fix it before the next mission, so he figured we should. I personally think the scratches on the breastplate actually give some character, but we agree on giving the 'N7' symbol a new coat of paint since the 'N' was shot off. The three of us stay silent for a while, only mumbling something occasionally when Jonas asks me to hand him a certain tool. Then, out of nowhere, Karium speaks, "I think you two should give the new setting a try.".

Jonas laughs out loud, while I just awkwardly chuckle not to be rude. It wasn't that funny a joke; which after some thought makes us realize it wasn't. Why? Does she want to see us get humiliated? Does she really think we can beat it? Maybe. I hadn't really given it much thought until now; maybe the two of us could actually make it. His omnishield and my barriers keep us protected; my biotics and his bullets take down the enemy.". I turn to my right to look at Jonas and see Corthias approaching from behind. I'm immediately compelled to salute; which makes the other two turn around to see who I'm addressing. They both instantly cut their chatter and salute too. He tells us to ease with a sign of the hand and asks how I'm doing. "I recovered rather well, commander.". He nods before tapping lightly on his mandible. I pick up the signal and tell him that the part where he hit me doesn't hurt anymore. It's still a bit sore, actually; but I'll be dead before I whine about it. "Good. So, what are you up to?". Karium points at the simulator at the far end of the room. "I formally challenged them to try the 'Overrun' setting at the combat simulator.". Jonas looks at her with a jokingly daring stare, then starts putting his armor on. "I take it they didn't back down?", says Corthias while facing us.

Jonas tights his breastplate around his chest. "Definitely not"

* * *

At a moment's notice we're both geared up and ready to go. "By the way.", Karium stops us, "the commander and I only had twenty minutes to work out our tactics, so let's make it fair: you're on the clock.". Jonas puts his thumb up then turns towards me. "Close quarters, little cover, a shit ton of enemies. What do you suggest?". I think about it for a second, "It's going to be restless in there, so I'd say…". Jonas stays silent to hear what I have to say. _Fast-paced, restless, close quarters, _I think_._ The answer comes up in my mind almost immediately, "_Shoot to Thrill_." He laughs vigorously and gives me a high five, then he turns towards Karium and tells her we're done. "_Shoot to Thrill?_ You guys give names like that to your tactics?".

"Sure… tactics… something like that.", he says playing the song out loud on his omnitool.

"You really think you can make it?"

"Come hell or high water.", I reply.

* * *

We step in and the lights turn dim just like the last time, the scoreboard counts one-hundred enemies remaining. Now I know why others failed: one-hundred is quite the number to face in a group of two. After reading the number, Jonas taps me on the shoulder and chuckles while saying, "Just like Proteus, eh?". Jonas and I earned our Star of Terra there doing the exact same thing for much longer. I smirk, and before I have time to turn back around four projections start shooting at us from the far side of the room. I bring up a small frontal barrier while Jonas makes quick work of them with his rifle. We split up to deal with the ones that appeared at the sides of the room. There are a few walls between Jonas and I, but I only need to hear his gunfire and see the enemy count on the scoreboard go down to understand that he's doing fine. In front of me are three enemies, so I jump up and fall back down creating a biotic explosion; and in the meantime two more appear behind me. I turn around and blink towards them, punching one of them with help from biotics and throwing a lance against the other. I peek towards the middle of the room and see five projections firing on Jonas' position. He's still safe behind cover; but he's busy dealing with other enemies on his side, and he probably hasn't noticed them going for him. I lay down a singularity in the middle of them and detonate the unstable field with a lance. He comes out of cover and we reunite in the center; shortly before noticing a large group of enemies heading right for us from the far side of the room: there's seven, maybe eight of them laying down fire on us. Without saying a word, Jonas throws his rifle in my hands and kneels down, activating his omnishield. I tower over him and fire it at them while he blocks their shots. They get some shots in, but nothing my barriers can't handle. Once they're taken care of we split up again and keep picking off enemies.

We make good progress but are once again stopped on our tracks by a crowd of enemies too large to handle alone. They're the last ones; but they're there in strength. We're sitting in cover and they're trying to rush us. I quickly shout 'Matol' to Jonas and he immediately understands. I create a biotic field between us and he begins to fire at it. I stop the bullets mid-air; turn towards the enemies and accelerate the bullets. They get shot like shotgun pellets and take down most of the projections, leaving only a few for me and Jonas. It works like a charm, and we beat Karium's challenge. Jonas starts cheering and turns towards me. I'm staring at the walls, though. I don't feel joy nor accomplishment; only dread. I should have kept my mouth shut and let Jonas find a better plan. I shouldn't have mentioned it. He hugs me and I immediately push him away. I'm shaking. His voice turns dead serious and he distances himself, slowly approaching me afterward. "Derek?". I don't answer him. "Derek it's not real, we're not on Matol.". I'm not having a flashback, I can tell that much. But I'd better get out as soon as possible. "I'm going to touch you, ok?". I don't turn my glance but still let out a soft, choked whimper and nod while trembling. He puts his hand on my shoulder just like he said he would and starts leading me out of the simulator.

Outside the door are Corthias and Karium. She starts jokingly clapping and is stopped by the commander when he looks at her. He congratulates with us as we approach him, then notices I'm shaking. He asks what's wrong, and I'm almost able to answer him.

But I get cut off by the sound of gunfire coming from the shooting range.

* * *

_I regain my senses and crawl through the dirt towards the crater. Not much further I find a corpse: it's burnt, its leg blown off below the knee, but his face is still recognizable. It's Chris. A shiver goes down my spine, as I recall the words he spoke a few days ago; when he announced our team that he had just become a father. That was three days before we were stranded here. And now, he'll never get to meet his child. His mouth opens and softly utters, "Wake up, Derek."._

* * *

I'm curled up on the floor at the corner of the room, still shaking. My hands are bleeding; and I can see tools on the floor with their sharp parts covered in blood. I only then feel my hip bone hurt, and realize I must've hit the table while running; falling onto the tools I knocked down and bruising my hands. Jonas arrives almost immediately and kneels down beside me. "Derek?". I look at him, unable to speak. "Derek, what am I wearing?". My voice is weak, trembling. I only let out a whimper that Jonas successfully deciphers as 'armor'. "Yes, good. Armor.". He grabs one of the tools and holds it in his hand in front of me, and asks me what it is. "It's… it's a… screwdriver."

He smiles and nods, he says I'm correct. "Can you tell me where we are right now?". He understands that I snapped back to reality fully once I mutter "Verdun… in the armory…".

He looks behind him and sees the whole room looking at us. Their gazes full of pity and shock; still trying to comprehend what got into me. But I think they understood. "This isn't the right place to talk about it, Derek.", he says before reaching out to me with his hand. I grab it with mine and he helps me get back on my feet and walk to the elevator. What happens next is rather unclear. I step in the elevator and I keep staring at walls. Suddenly I'm in my quarters, sitting on my bunk. Jonas is sitting beside me, waiting for me to speak. I don't, though. We stay there in silence for what seems like an eternity.

And he spends that eternity by my side.

* * *

_Faces. Names. Memories. They all race before me._

_I remember Daniel's face when I told him Willow died on Matol. _

_I remember the pain in writing personally to the families of my fellow marines who died there._

_I remember little Artyom staring right through my soul; his young mind trying to understand how could it be that I was being awarded the Star of Terra for saving my unit on Proteus, and yet his father wasn't coming back home._

_I remember all of them, and they only deliver one message to me._

_It's my fault._

* * *

There's no jumps, no screams, and no fear when I open my eyes. The only good part of staring at the faces of those who died because of me is that I'm used to it; and I don't wake up screaming like I do when I dream of Elia. It's been a while since I last had a flashback of Matol. Too little stress on the Citadel; and too few things to remind me of it. Jonas isn't in the room; I guess he left after I fell asleep. I get up and slowly walk to the terminal in the room, and link to Elia. It takes a little bit before she picks up, but eventually her face comes up on the screen. She's happy to see me, and I'm definitely happy to see her. We greet each other and chat for a bit until she asks me how things are going here. "Well, the mission went well. We got in, killed some Cerberus troopers, and got out. Nice and clean.".

"I didn't ask you for a mission report, Derek. How are you _really _doing." _Oh rather well_, I think. _I almost killed an ally, fell unconscious, had a flashback induced panic attack, and dreamt of the people that I lead to their deaths._ "How's Kara?", I ask her. The illusion of joy in her eyes and in her voice disappears, "Are you dodging my question, Derek?".

"Yes. How is she?". I don't even think about it, these are the words that come out of my mouth. She gets caught off guard by how cold it was. Shocked, almost; and frankly, I am too. But she understands that something happened, and it must be fresh. We both know that I should tell someone about it, but she sees that there's I reason I don't tell her; she knows not to push it. "She's fine. Tired, though. We all are. We're working double-time to assist the war effort.".

"Good. Tell her to treat you right, or the Reapers will be the least of her problems." She chuckles. "We've been together since our school days, Derek. Do you still not trust her?". Yes, I do trust her. I also like her; I'm happy things are working out between the two of them. "What can I say? I love playing the part of the over-protective older brother.". We keep chatting like that for a while, in that light-hearted tone that I need to recover from the stress of these last few days.

"It's been good to see you. I needed it.".

"Yeah, me too. Feel free to call whenever you feel like telling me what happened. I Love you."

"Love you too, sis."

Seeing her again reminded me of how important she is to me. I don't know how I'll be able to watch her die again tonight.

* * *

_**Hey everyone, thanks for reading. I apologize that this chapter was short, but it's been a rather busy week for me and I barely found the time to write it. I'll try to release Chapter V as soon as possible, and maybe give it a little more content.**_

**_Thanks again for supporting this project and reading these few chapters, it really helps me going._**

**_See you in Chapter V!_**

**_ \- EalL_**


	5. V - Menae

**Chapter V – ****Menae**

I grab a thermal clip by the dead soldier on the ground and load it into my gun. I look up to see the large room refugees usually stay in. It's empty, which isn't surprising given the situation; they probably ran as soon as they heard gunshots.

T'Scoris is looking through her sniper rifle's scope to check if any more Cerberus snipers are waiting to ambush us, but she finds none. We get out of cover and slowly move down the steps, not to alert any hostiles on the ground, still unaware of our presence.

After just a little bit, we all halt at the sight of a civilian. She is slowly peeking out of her hiding spot to see if any troopers are nearby; and steps out when she sees none. She looks back towards where she hid and utters a few words, which I do not pick up from this distance. "Derek?" I hear calling from beside me. Jonas hands me his rifle and tells me to look down the sights, "You're not going to like this.". I do as he says, and the zoom allows me to recognize the refugee: Elia.

I don't know what gets into me: I start running towards her, shouting her name. I hear Jonas scream for me to get back to the team, but it's too late. I'm about halfway to her when she finally notices me. She starts running towards me as well. We get near each other and are almost able to throw ourselves into each other's arms. That's when I hear the blast.

A shot goes through my barriers, armor, and chest as I feel a sharp pain. I start bleeding profusely and turn towards Elia: the bullet went through her and hit me. She's dead.

Before I have time to react, a second shot comes. Everything turns black.

* * *

I almost fall off my bunk when I wake up; and Jonas is beside me as usual. This time, I'm able to speak immediately; so I can reply when he asks me what's going on. He knows already, I think his question just came out faster than he could think about it. He helps me calm down and I stop shaking in what seems like the fastest time since I started having these dreams. I'm getting used to these, and I don't think it's a good thing. I tell him what happened in the most minute detail, and he's right: it does make me feel better.

"Cerberus on the Citadel?", he asks while handing me the coffee I asked him to get me from the mess hall. "Yeah. Call me crazy.", I answer after thanking him. He sits down beside me and starts drinking his coffee, while I wait for mine to cool a little bit. "It's not even that crazy. Nothing is anymore.". We both stay quiet for a while; enjoying our drinks. Then a question comes through my mind, "Did you go back to the armory after I fell asleep yesterday?". He nods. "What did they think about what happened?".

"The crewmen were still confused, so was Hatris. Corthias, on the other hand, wasn't. He didn't see what happened, but he understood. I spoke with him and told him you had a panic attack, and that you're sensitive about that subject. He listened to me without uttering a word, then asked me if you'd be fit for duty in time for our deployment on Menae." I shake my head in anger. "Of course he did.". After what happened, the only thing he cares about is my ability to fight? Is that it? What am I, a weapon or a person? "Thanks, Jonas.", I say before leaving the room and stepping into the elevator.

* * *

Many gazes from the crew members turn towards me as I walk in the armory. Most of them saw me yesterday; as for the others, the word likely spread quickly. They all turn away when I look at them, not wanting to be seen staring at me. I'm here looking for Corthias. I stepped in the elevator with the intention of speaking to him, but I made that decision whilst angry, and it was a short time before the reality hit me. What am I going to tell him? Am I going to get mad at him for that? As much as I think of him as an asshole; it's his job to ensure that I do mine, and that I'm fit to do it. So I'm really here for no reason at all. Maybe I'll fire a few shots at the range just to distract me for a bit.

But there is one person who isn't looking at me like a stray dog, or a madman. She's just working out on her own, and simply smiles at me to greet me when she sees me: it's Rachel. It looks like she's already rested enough – or is just sick of it. She gets up from the station and walks towards me. "I believe you owe me a lesson.", she says. I smile and nod, at least I have something to do now. "Good. When do we start?"

We walk to the range and I throw a lance at a target. "Alright, first step. Left foot ahead turned towards the target; the other one is behind and turned to the right. Put some of your weight on the right foot. Now, shift it all on it; lift the left one; slightly hop forward and land shifting your weight on the foot ahead. Then pretend you're throwing a spear." She slowly repeats this process a couple of times, until I see she understood. At first she has a little bit of trouble with the landing, especially coordinating the landing with the throwing movement; but she figures it out soon enough. I tell her to go back into starting position and to create two biotic fields. "A warp field, and a stasis field around it." She looks puzzled. "Why the stasis field?", she asks. "First of all, you don't want to touch a warp field: it kind of hurts. Second, you can't really throw a warp field. Think of it as wanting to throw a harmful liquid at someone. You can't throw a liquid by hand, so you put it in a jar and throw that. When it hits, it breaks, and the liquid gets out.".

She does her best to match my instructions, and it takes her rather long until she creates a good one. After she does, I tell her to throw it; and, as expected, it misses the targeted. "Good. Now you just need to work on your aim. Keep going."

* * *

Three days pass by, and it's already time to deploy on Menae. Our mission is to strike three Reaper installations on the moon. We should clear these outposts of all hostiles, but the mission is really to create a diversion for a cornered turian platoon to retreat; so we really need to stall them long enough for them to escape, then we can pull out too. We're being taken to a turian camp: there we'll coordinate with other turian teams to hit the targets.

The rattle from the shuttle's engine booms as the doors slide closed and we begin our descent towards the moon. Not far from us a large fleet of Reapers seems to keep watch of ships approaching Menae. We go circle around them far enough for them not to notice us, or not to break formation and pursue us. It's just three shuttles, after all.

"Alright, listen up men.", Corthias' voice cuts everyone's chatter. "Menae is the last bastion of turian resistance. Losing this moon means dire news for my people. We're not here to conduct some attrition warfare, however. We go in, kick them hard, and get out. Nice and clean." The shuttle enters the aerial space of the base we're going to. We see fires everywhere on the video feed, and images of devastated cities on Palaven. One of them contains a large building burning, and what seems to be a square with the remains of a statue in front of it. "That's Cipritine. I was born there.". He pauses and looks down just before saying, "Let's show these bastards they're not welcome."

As the doors slide open, we see a turian right in front of us. We salute after getting out of the shuttle, and he does too. Corthias laughs and approaches him, "Corinthus, you son of a bitch!". The two shake hands. "So you're back in the mud with the rest of us, huh? I would never have believed it if I hadn't seen it. I thought you got used to your comfy war room."

"Still the same sore loser I see, Redinum". He shakes his head, still laughing. "I may be a sore loser, but at least I'm not Fedorian's pet… poor bastard.". They look at each other, then look down. I have no idea who this Fedorian is; so I ask Karium, who's standing right beside me. "He was the previous Primarch. He died a few days ago. From what Redinum told me, Corinthus and him were friends.".

"Well then, General. They're all yours", the commander says pointing to us and stepping beside him. "As you were probably already told, we have a platoon stuck in an old military installation. They're fine at the moment, but they're sitting ducks; they will be killed if they try to escape that safe house. Your job is to clear out three Reaper outposts to give them the chance to retreat. Outposts Alpha and Bravo will be handled by Strike Teams 1 and 2, assisted by some of our special forces. Echo 7, your job is to take Outpost Charlie. It's the largest one and we believe it to be the most fortified. Scouts report Hades Anti-Aircraft cannons there, so we have to land you out of their range. Once the outpost is taken and the guns are destroyed, we'll deploy troops to Alpha and Bravo. Is everything clear?" A wave of 'Oorah' comes out of our mouths, as we get ready to board our shuttle again to attack Charlie.

* * *

We get there on foot after being dropped about a click from the target. We're on a small hill near the outpost, observing it and working out a plan of attack. T'Scoris decides to stay here, claiming it has a clear line of sight of the outpost and great to snipe enemies from a distance.

Once again, I'm the one tasked with keeping barriers up; my favorite kind of job. We slowly approach the base and begin firing on the enemy once we're close enough. We have the higher ground, but the distance of engagement is what makes me feel uncomfortable. Biotics are generally not great from a big distance. Sure, lances hit hard from here too, but that's really it. My gun is also accurate, but it's hard to hit an enemy from this distance with only one shot at a time. In any case, I'm just holding a bubble up for now. No need to worry about that.

We move closer and closer to the base until we're almost there. There's little cover except for the anti-aircraft guns, the only other construct being Dragon's Teeth. We have the barrier, so the absence of cover is really only a disadvantage for the enemy. They keep airdropping troops, mostly Cannibals; maybe they don't see us as a threat. The trouble only comes once they start sending in Brutes.

After a while they still refuse to give up, leading Corthias to order to destroy the guns now and keep fighting the enemy while Teams 1 and 2 take Outposts Alpha and Bravo, hopefully holding on until the platoon retreats. Jonas and Karium take the heavy weapons we carried from the shuttle and fire the rockets at the anti-aircraft guns. Once they're down, we contact the base and tell them to get the strike teams in the air. Brutes keep throwing themselves towards us, and if they keep going like that we'll soon run out of ammo. One after the other, Brutes fall; none of them reaches our position. Everything seems to be working out. At least until we realize we have Marauders coming in from behind us, that is.

They enter the barrier and start opening fire on us. I dissolve it and grab my gun, killing some of them. They're nothing but a distraction, but an effective one: while we focus on them, the Brutes get to us.

Corthias shouts at us, telling us to scatter. I run towards Jonas who's struggling to repel an attack from a Brute with his shield, but has not noticed the one coming from behind him. I throw myself against him and get him out of the way, narrowly avoiding a punch from the monster. We both immediately get up and I unload my clip on one's head. It definitely felt that, but it's still alive and angrier than before. It's a shot from T'Scoris that brings him to the ground. Jonas is once again blocking the other with his omnishield, keeping it at bay. I climb on top of the Brute and it tries to shake me off. I turn my omniblade on and stab its back, and in its pain it leaves Jonas alone, giving him a chance to bash it with his shield and unload on it. I jump down from it and throw a lance on its back. The Brute falls, to the ground, and I fire on last shot to its head while it's down just to be sure.

T'Rodae makes quick work of the Brute that attacked her. Karium jumps over it thanks to her jets and drops a grenade on it before flying further away. Lidon uses decoys while Taria shoots it in the side. One by one, the Brutes all fall. We immediately engage those getting closer, but they are miraculously killed by the skies. We look up to see the other shuttles flying over our heads.

"You owe us one.", says Caryll over the comms. "Drinks are on you boys." We all loudly cheer as we see the shuttles fly off into the distance towards their objectives.

We stop our celebration when we see a Harvester fly up behind them and shoot down Strike Team 1's shuttle.

* * *

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	6. VI - A Price Too High

**Chapter VI – A Price Too High –**

As the shuttle rapidly plummets to the ground, the Harvester loses interest in it and begins to pursue its new prey. The other shuttle goes through some evasive maneuvers that I thought were impossible under atmospheric pressure, leading the beast around trying not to let it get the best of it. We lay down whatever amount of fire is necessary from the ground; but at this range it's nothing but useless, except the occasional grazing shots. Eventually the Harvester begins to read their movement pattern and, before the pilot can shake him again, manages to hit the engine and cause it to go down. The engine is still operational, however; and the pilot's voice tells us he'll land it as best he can.

Although the shuttle is only slightly damaged, the monster is already satisfied with its work in the skies, and it begins to dive on our position. I create a new barrier to block the incoming attacks, which are but warning shots. It lands a few meters ahead of us and starts laying down a considerable amount of fire. The barrier holds on for now, but unless we think fast of a way to take care of it we'll likely become its victims in no time. Corthias is returning as much fire as possible towards the Harvester; with help from T'Scoris, who's just taking as many shots as she without giving away her undefended position. A shot from her rifle is what causes a piece of its hide on the neck to be ripped off, making the beast scream in pain and attempt to fly away. She, of course, immediately translates this behavior into 'shoot the weak spot', and a precise bullet to the cut makes its head almost entirely separate from the body. Another horrendous scream is heard before the monstrosity disintegrates into ashes in a fiery explosion. Normally, I think I'd feel joy in seeing that we lived through this, but as the adrenaline fades away we're left with the grim reality. The pilot of Team 2's shuttle is able to contact us and tell us that they're all in one piece. We get no response from shuttle two.

I hear Corthias' voice from behind me. He's talking on the comms with Corinthus, telling him the news and communicating that we're on our way to Outpost Alpha; and that we'll first go by the crash site to locate any survivors.

* * *

We follow the trail of smoke coming from a small valley between Outposts Charlie and Alpha. From the distance we can see the remains of the shuttle: it tore in half upon impact; the two halves are just a few meters from one another separated by debris. We spot what seems like movement, but we can't tell whether it's a survivor or an enemy. We approach with caution and begin to notice corpses amidst the rubble. We see movement on a hill and ready our weapons, only lowering them when T'Scoris warns us that it's Caryll we're aiming at.

They all come down towards the shuttle and join us in our goal to help any survivors. When we arrive, Corthias immediately asks Caryll why his team isn't in position at Outpost Bravo. "We couldn't hear the comms. We don't even know if you got our pilot's message telling you we were fine. We decided to come to investigate the crash site because we didn't think you would.". The commander shakes his head in disapproval, but lets him go for now.

The crash was even worse than it looked. The first body we're able to identify is Scheln's. Lidon makes a quick assessment with help from scans and states that he died due to severe head trauma from the crash. We spread out to cover more of the site and find our first survivor: a certain Maya Illin. She got out with a large scar from debris going from her right cheek to her forehead, miraculously missing her eye. Besides an additional couple of cuts and bruises on her arms, that's all she got. I go towards the cockpit, but get stopped on my tracks when I see it completely shattered against the side of the hill. The inside is just a mess of bloody debris and pieces of metal sharper than swords, able to cut your head off in an instant. Sadly, that may be what happened to the pilot, since I find her dog tags on the ground, covered in blood. _Dana Clove _is the name I read on them.

The highest-ranking officers left on the team are Julia Dani and Thomas Leiren, Caryll tells me. We find the latter near one of those pieces of metal. There's blood everywhere: on the debris, on the ground, and on his body. It's coming from a large cut going from the stomach to almost the shoulder; it's likely he bled out before we got here. Dani is alive, trying to help another soldier break free. I think it shouldn't be a big deal with biotics, but as soon as she steps aside I see the problem: he's not stuck – he's impaled.

The large piece of debris is going through his abdomen, and he's losing quite a lot of blood. Although I fear if we remove it he may start to bleed even more profusely. I tell Dani to relax, since I can see the shock and fear of seeing her teammate in that situation. She falls into Rachel's arms and tries to calm herself down, while facing the other way and pretending not to hear her friend's screams. I lean down towards him and try to calm him down while I think about a way to free him. "What's your name?", I ask in the most sympathetic and calm voice I can. "J… James… Kurt".

"We're going to get you out of here James, ok? I just need you to relax and focus on something else.". He nods with whatever strength he has left. I can see that he's trying his best to do so, but he's scared. Too scared. He looks young, but not like Caryll – he's much younger. The ranks on his' armor shoulder guard tell me he's just a corporal, possibly the lowest rank on board. I don't know how he was accepted to stay onboard to serve alongside the CROSS Group. It's likely he's a good soldier, maybe just inexperienced. "Did… Did Maya make it?", he whispers while I look for a good point to start. I can't find anything though. Removing the debris might kill him due to shock, or just make him bleed out before we can stop it. And even if it does give us time, the wound is really large: too large to be treated with medigel. "Yeah, she's alive." Lidon administers some painkillers to ease his suffering while he smiles. The adrenaline and the treatment is easing his pain enough for him to chuckle, "After she sees me survive this… she'll definitely go crazy for me. Right?". I try to play the same game to help him out. "Oh, you won't be able to get her off of you, believe me."

"Yeah, I… I hope so…". His gaze turns upwards. Then he softly whispers, "What's your name?". We're losing him, I know we are. His voice is weaker, his eyes are lost into the vastness of the night sky and I can hear his heartbeat accelerate a little. "Derek. My name's Derek. Stay with me, James." He's trying his best to stay alive, but I don't think it'll be enough. "Thank you Derek. I know you'll…" _No! Don't!_, I think while I hear him talk. Some sort of a smile has formed on his face.

"I'm sorry, Derek…" He hands me a locket he wore around his neck with his free hand, "Give… give this to her on my behalf… will you?", he says before his breath fades away.

* * *

Without any control over myself I punch a piece of metal in front of me. A biotic field instinctively creates itself around my fist, striking the debris and bending it; stopping me from breaking my own hand. Silence falls between us as I walk back towards the group of people that were silently watching from behind me. Maya isn't among them, and I don't think she heard the conversation.

Our silence is interrupted by the horrifying sounds of Reaper creatures on the hill above us. Everyone rushes into cover. I don't

I lose all control over myself and blindly charge the nearest of them, bringing myself up at their level of height. There, I create a biotic field around me and start throwing lances against all of them, punching those that get too close. The last one of them is a Brute, further away than the others. It runs towards me with clear intent. I would normally turn around and run like hell, or at least try to avoid it. Instead I challenge it head-on, throwing five or six lances against it while it gets close; then charging him. The impact from my body accelerated like a projectile is enough to make it flinch. I swiftly take my gun and point it against the lower part of its head, firing a single shot that crudely blows it off; then, before even a second has passed, I blink away to the left to avoid being crushed by its carcass. I instinctively point my gun behind me, seeing no more hostiles standing. I walk back to the team, but not before hatefully unloading the remaining five shots on that monstrosity's corpse.

They all look at me: some in shock, some in admiration, others in confusion. I'm the one to break the silence this time, "Let's go make them pay."

* * *

I've already put myself back together by the time we reach our new target. Julia Dani and Maya Illin have both been extracted back to the turian base by a ground rain of fire begins as it did at the last outpost. This one was supposed to be less reinforced than Charlie, but I think the Reapers have understood our plan. At least, they understood our targets. The turian platoon is still hiding in the old facility and the Reapers didn't send any of their troops against them. And just as usual, I'm left holding barriers. I'm getting tired of this role; I fight better up close and personal, not holding a damn blue bubble while my team sprays and prays from a long distance. The Reaper reinforcements here are restless, so much so that after a while we receive a communication from Team 2 telling us Bravo has been dealt with and that they're coming over to Alpha to help out. Nothing today went as planned, did it?

Turian command believes now is a good time to send the platoon out of their cover. They begin their journey back to the base with no problems. At least for now. Our situation is a bit messier, though: we're making progress and getting closer and closer to the outpost, but the enemy is here in force and we're far from done.

After about half an hour we're almost there. The barrier is still up, but at this range they can enter it and shoot us if they're not killed in time. The real trouble begins once we see a new monstrosity being deployed. One that wasn't in the Alliance reports about the Reapers. It's taller than any human, it has long claws and it's hovering over the ground. It looks like a distorted, terrifying woman. Its screams are powerful enough to rip away hope from the heart of any combatant. A sphere similar to biotics comes towards us and strips my entire barrier away on impact, leaving the team defenseless. It repeatedly blinks towards me, slashing with its claws once it's close. Jonas comes in time to block it with his shield. Unlike when we faced the Brutes, however, the kinetic barrier coming from his omnitool is quickly disrupted, leaving him vulnerable to its second attack. Its claws strip away chunks of his armor like it's made out of butter, gashing his skin. He cowers to the ground in pain, narrowly avoiding another slash. It's about to finish him off when a burst of fire hits its back. Looking far off in the distance I see Team 2 laying down fire on the creature, distracting it long enough for me to biotically pull Jonas out of its grasp. A rocket flies towards it from its back, coming out of one of Team 2's heavy weapons. It screams when the projectile explodes against it, and I instinctively cover my ears when it does. I grab my gun and rapidly unload all six shots against it, the last two of them pierce its hide, skin, or whatever it is. A large column of fire comes from my right side and from in front of me. Both teams are giving the monster all they've got; and eventually, it falls.

I run up to Jonas who's trying his best to stop the bleeding. The cut isn't too deep, but it's definitely not pretty. Lidon immediately comes over and gives him a dose of medigel; which makes him sigh in relief as the pain eases. I once again charge blindly into the last group of enemies, killing every one of them with my bare hands and biotics. One by one. Cannibals, Marauders, Husks… they all die before they even lay a hand on me.

After my fit of rage has passed – and my thirst for Reaper blood is sated – I return to the team; crushed by dread when I see Jonas unresponsive on the ground. Lidon is working frantically to wake him up. His heart is still beating, but it looks as if he won't wake up. I helplessly stand a few meters away from him, giving Lidon enough space to help him. He starts giving him some mixtures of meds I have never seen before. He tries once: nothing. He tries a second time: still, he doesn't wake up. The third time he begins to slowly move his fingers, giving Lidon the signal for a last dose; which makes his eyes open as he takes a deep breath.

I let out a sigh of relief when I see Jonas begin to stand up with Karium's help, and I immediately rush to give a helping hand. His wound has stopped bleeding; but there's still shock in his face, probably what made him go unconscious. We help him walk around for a bit, until he tells us he can do it on his own. We insist on helping him, but we reluctantly agree to let him do it. He trips and falls after the first few steps, leading Karium and I to pick him up again and deny any further request of going alone.

Our shuttle – the only intact one out of the three – comes to pick us up at our position. There's barely enough room inside for both Team 2 and my team. We receive communication from base camp, but it's mostly statics and we fail to understand what they're trying to tell us. It looks like a warning, but against what? We've already defeated all hostiles in the area. As the shuttle takes off, however, we hear a booming mechanical roar from the outside. We all shake in terror as we visualize the threat on the shuttle's video feed.

It's a Reaper.

* * *

Without hesitation, the pilot accelerates to speeds high enough to make any evasive maneuvers seemingly impossible. The horrific sound of the Reaper's weapon carves through our ears, as it fires again and again; missing us by just a few meters each time. We fly blindly to avoid its attacks, unknowingly getting close enough to the base that they can contact us with their short-range communication systems. "I repeat you have a Reaper inbound, do you copy?". Corthias immediately answers, "Corinthus it's already on our back. Any suggestions?" "Is it a Sovereign-class?". Corthias looks frantically at the video feed before telling General Corinthus that we're dealing with one of the little ones.

"Then bring him close to base camp. We've got a salvo of Thanix missiles with its name on them."

The pilots keeps avoiding the Reaper's weapon, however having a destination means we can't circle around it anymore. We have to fly straight onwards, hoping to dodge its beams as we do. Every time the shuttle pulls off an evasive maneuver, we all shift from side to side in our seats; terrorized knowing the fate any of these sounds may bring. For now, all any of us can do is wait and hope that our pilot manages to shake the beast for long enough. But after a while, it understands our plan and flies off. But it doesn't fly off randomly, it just picks a new target.

The turian platoon.

The pilot inverts the route, going back against the Reaper to distract it from its objective. But the monster knows that our craft is not a threat to it, and focuses on the men we tried to evacuate. We tell base camp to load the missiles on the SSV Verdun and send it here to take down the Reaper, but it takes time; it continues to decimate the men on the ground. The shuttle fires its puny weapons at the reaper, unleashing a barrage of projectiles and missiles against the firing chamber. Firing all of our tiny arsenal is just enough to make it flinch, and decides to fire at us once again; but it doesn't pursue us. The moment we get too far away is the moment it turns back towards the ground troops.

We rush back to it and, just as planned, the Reaper begins firing on us once more. This time it predicts our movement pattern, getting closer and closer with each shot. At times, we even feel the heat from the beam from inside the shuttle. Finally, it anticipates our movements, firing ahead of our position. We're going straight against it, and have no way to avoid it. Until we hear a booming sound, one different from the Reaper's weapon. The video feed reveals enormous explosions hitting the monster's weak spot, causing it to cower to the ground. We see the Verdun flying victorious up ahead and we all begin to cheer. It comes back around to deliver one final blow to the creature with its main weapon. The Reaper finally falls to the ground, dead.

* * *

We arrive at the base and land under thunderous cheers from the turians stationed there. Half of the platoon was able to survive, 'returning to their comrades at the base and, maybe one day, to their loved ones', they tell us. The destruction of the Reaper boosted everyone's morale at the base, but here we're still shaken by the price paid: almost the entirety of Team 1 was killed – and half of their platoon – just to take down one of the little ones. It's a victory nonetheless, but the cost was too high for us to be celebrating.

As we step down from the shuttle, the surviving members of the platoon greet us by holding their rifles up in the air with only one arm; followed by the entirety of the men at the base. They see us as heroes, I see ourselves as idiots. We wasted all these lives to save a bunch of turians. Truly a useless waste, unless they decide to side with us once and for all. They're useful, yes; but nothing more.

* * *

The shuttle enters the ship's shuttle bay and lowers in altitude, as the noise from the engine slowly dies out. Karium and I immediately rush Jonas to the med-bay. He's not in life-threatening conditions, but he should be looked at by the medical staff nonetheless. I stay in there with him for a while as he rests, Karium does the same. I think the two are starting to get on each other's good side. It's obvious they look up to one another; but I think there's more to it than just mutual respect. It seems like a friendship is starting to blossom between them. Good for him, I'd never be close with a turian.

After a while, Corthias steps in and asks how he's doing. I reply telling him that he needs to rest, and that he needs to wear off the shock. He nods. "Thank you, Ezail. Could you give us a moment?". Why? Why would he need a moment with Jonas if he's sleeping? What is it that's so important that I can't hear? Maybe he needs to talk to Karium, but he'd have asked her to come with him. I go to my quarters and lay down on my bunk, trying my best to sleep.

As I imagined, I'm not able to; and I get sick of trying after about half an hour. I decide to go back to the med-bay, surely they're done talking. They're not.

Jonas is awake and talking to both Karium and Corthias. I decide to get as near as I can without stepping in on their conversation. This is all very suspect, hence leading me to eavesdrop on what they're saying. I only catch the end of it.

"Alright then.", says Corthias, "We'll put the plan in motion tomorrow. Hatris, you've got the first task.". I'm assuming she nodded, because there was no spoken answer. "And Jonas.", he continues, "Thank you for telling me this. I know it's hard for you but it's going to work, I assure you. Remember…"

"… we're doing this for _his_ own good."


	7. VII - Remembrance

**Chapter VII – Remembrance**

Facing this corner helps more than I thought. Staring at these cracked, neglected walls limits my vision; and it prevents me from seeing the room beyond the bars, reminding me of the freedom outside. Elia is still out there, somewhere. I told her I'd be back in a day - three days ago. The guards tell her I'm alright, but they won't let us see each other; not until the trial is over, they say. "Ever heard of knocking?" is my reply to a metallic noise from behind me, with which I am well acquainted with. "I'm assuming they told you why I'm here," I continue without turning around, "Opening the door isn't the best of ideas.". I hear a chuckle. "Oh, I know.", he replies. I look to see a man with dark skin around his forties. He's wearing an Alliance uniform, a rather fancy one, with two guards who point their guns at me when I turn. "But I also know you won't try anything."

"What do you want? Is the Alliance really concerned with a brawl on the streets.". He grabs a chair that was in the cell and sits on it. "It wasn't just a brawl. Biotics where involved and three people almost died.". One of the guards steps beside him and hands him a datapad after lowering his gun; the other one is still pointing hers at me. "In any case, no. We don't care about that.". He turns on the datapad, "I tried to soften the judge a little, but we're still looking at five to six years.". What he said confuses me; and as much as it seems good to receive help, I'm still skeptical about it. Why would the Alliance try to lower my sentence? "Thanks.", I say in a cold and ungrateful voice.

"I know it's still too much for you, Derek."

"I can take it.". Being called by name by this man angers me. I have never met him, nor do I feel anything for him; I'm sure he definitely feels no sympathy for me either. "I'm sure you can. But who's going to care for little Elia?". I shake in anger and my arm uncontrollably glows in blue light, making him chuckle. Every part of my body is telling me to biotically accelerate a pebble so hard towards his head that a bullet would feel like a massage in comparison. But I refrain from that thought. Better not to be gunned down by the guards. "What did you just say?" I ask aggressively after closing my eyes and slowly opening them back. "You know nothing about me, asshole.", I say when I see he won't answer my question. "Really?", he says in a challenging tone of voice as he raises his eyebrows. He starts reading the datapad, "Derek Ezail, age eighteen. Born in Florence, Earth, on the seventh of August 2158 to Markus Ezail and Dalia Aretti… both deceased.".

"It's just a file. You don't _know _me. You have no right to boss me around, much less to call me by name.". He chuckles once again, "Right. She's the only one allowed to do that?". I nod. "Wrong.", he replies. "Kane is allowed too, isn't he?". His words hit me like a bullet and stun me. I'm about to ask how he knows Jonas, when he answer the question himself. "He serves under me aboard the SSV Tokyo. He told me about you and said your biotics could be a great asset to the Alliance. I decided to come talk you into joining the Alliance, but you got yourself in this mess.". I remain silent and look down. "Now, I think it's a good time for you to swallow your pride and realize I'm here to help.". A few moments of silence pass. "Who are you?", I ask without raising my gaze.

"Captain David Anderson. Now, can we get down to business?"

* * *

It's a greeting from Rachel that brings me back to reality. It's just the both of us in the empty mess hall. I'm sitting down at a table, in my hands is the picture contained in the locket that James gave me in his dying breath. Several straight folds go across the paper, and their regular and linear appearance suggests that they were carefully made to not damage the image, while also being able to store it in the small container.

"How are you holding up?", she asks in her usual friendly-sounding voice. I don't lie when I tell her that I'm alright. James' death did shake me, but it's not the first time I lost a soldier. Plus, I didn't know him, so I don't feel his absence as bad as other crewmembers do. I ask her question back and she deliberately ignores it, giving me a stone-cold silence in response. I understand she and James were close, same as with Maya. The three were great friends, inseparable, Caryll tells me. I understand why she'd rather hold back from answering that.

She sits at an empty chair in front of me and reaches for another picture on my right. I forgot I had taken it out of my jacket's pocket. It's what made me relax and slowly fall into old memories. It's a picture from my first months in the Alliance, aboard the SSV Tokyo. There are about twenty people in the picture, all smiling with enthusiasm: my old platoon. It wasn't really an official one: we took it as a token of remembrance in case anyone of us got reassigned; which eventually, ended up happening. In the picture, just as in real life, Jonas is beside me; with hair of almost unfathomable shortness. It's one of the last pictures of him before he let it grow back.

"No clues.", she says as her hand brings the picture closer to her eyes. She examines it, periodically looking at me and then back at it; placing it flat on the table between us after a while she says, "That's you, right?", she states as she puts a finger on the figure of nineteen-year-old me. She's correct. Often people mistake Jonas and I for brothers, so you could have mistaken one for the other in old pictures; but Jonas' shaved head kind of made him look older than he actually is, clearly marking the line between me and him. I nod with my head to tell Rachel she's right; "You looked better then, I must say. When was this taken?".

"2177, SSV Tokyo. I think it was three or four months after I came aboard. It was hard to leave them.". She looks at the picture some more, comparing my younger, possibly better self to how I look today. It's definitely a good thing that she's only comparing my appearance: at least in that field I may have a chance to win the verdict. As to who I am, I'd revert time and stop it in those days. She points at the marine right next to me: a reddish-haired girl, with a kilometer-wide smile and joyful, enthusiastic deep-green eyes. She says she looks familiar, that she's seen her somewhere before. I chuckle at that, "Where did you see her?", I say playing with her. "I don't know… The vids maybe, but it sounds stupid.". She stares at her face, trying her hardest to understand who she is, or at least where she saw her. "I'm sure you did, Rachel. Everyone in the Alliance has seen her face at least once. She's the Alliance's golden-girl, one of the youngest Stars of Terra there has ever been. Beat me to it, too.". Her face lights up in realization as she raises her gaze at me, with a shocked expression in her eyes. "Shepard? _That_ Shepard?"

"The one and only.", I answer confirming her theory. She laughs and looks at me surprised. She asks me if I know her, to which I reply nodding. I explain that it's been a long time since we saw each other, last time was shortly after I was reassigned to the SSV Waterloo. She messaged me a few years back, congratulating herself with me and telling me she'd be present at the ceremony for the completion of the N7 Program… She didn't come there, though: she died a few weeks prior. At the time, it was a really hard thing to swallow; and little did I know Cerberus was going to bring her back eventually. I had lost a good friend, and I haven't seen her since.

"What was the SSV Waterloo like?", she says trying to change what is evidently a touchy subject for me. She doesn't know it, but it was better to just keep talking about that. But I digress on my thinking and instead decide to tell her about it. "I didn't stay there long. Life was different than on the Tokyo, being a frigate; and it felt like I was getting close to the crew but…". She looks taken off guard, yet intrigues; and leans in towards me with curiosity in her eyes. "But?"

It quickly flashes before me: the blast I heard while in the CIC, the panic, the rush to the shuttles to reach the rest of the flotilla on the other side of the solar system… the crash on Matol…

I start shaking, trying to hide the dread by telling her that it was nothing; but she notices my arm twitching. She reaches over to my hand, softly grabbing it in hers. I instinctively pull it back and get up, accidentally hitting the table. She does too, and walks towards me while I'm frantically looking in every direction to find the source of the noise of explosions and screams. She puts her hands on my shoulders and tries to hold me still. "Derek, talk to me.". I push her in panic and she falls on her back. I turn around and run like hell, hitting a chair in the progress and stumbling to the floor, slamming my head against it.

* * *

_Niki is trying to drag me on the floor to cover, far from danger and far from Chris' lifeless corpse. The amount of fire from the enemies is enormous, and barriers do what little they can to stop the bullets. Amidst the automatic fire throwing us in disarray are periodic shots from snipers. Right now all we can do is sit behind cover and hope that Jack's aim is good enough to eliminate them so we can move further. _

_The amount of fire intensifies as she tries to get me to safety. The only words I can form are an order for her to leave me here, to go to cover before they kill her too. My rank is higher than hers, but it's worth little to nothing right now. Another explosion hits close to us and sends her flying a few meters away. I try to stand up to go to her, but my legs can't carry my own weight; I plummet to the ground in a fit of pain. I crawl towards her, only to see her overcome her struggle and get up. I tell her to go once more. "I won't leave you", I read on her lips, since the sound of gunfire is covering her voice. She gets close to me and extends her arm to help me. That's when the shot crackles and flies over my head, passing through both her barriers and her chest. Blood splashes on my face and armor, as she plummets to the ground and into a small crater. I crawl there to her. I call her name, beg for her to stay as I frantically look for a way to save her. She makes a painful sound with her throat and puts her hand on my face. I lean forward and kiss her, and for just a moment all the sounds of battle stop. There's nothing around me. No battle, no enemies. Nothing._

_I only snap back to reality once our lips separate. "I…". She musters her remaining strength to speak. "L… love…". Her gaze is fixed on the sky, tears falling to the sides of her face. Her weak voice turns into a strong, determined voice giving me an order,_

_"Wake up, Derek"_

* * *

I open my eyes and realize I'm in the med-bay. Jonas is lying on the bed right beside me, still asleep. I turn left and see Rachel raise her gaze and look at me, walking towards me when she sees I'm awake. She puts her hand on my shoulder, slowly, afraid that I'm going to retaliate once again. I stay still this time and close my eyes. Putting my hand on the part of my head that still aches lets me understand I have bandages. "I'm sorry", is the first thing she says, "I shouldn't have pushed the subject.". I look at her and our eyes meet for a couple of seconds, before she looks down and moves her head to the left, sobbing. "It's alright, Rachel. It wasn't your fault.". She couldn't have known that it was such a sensitive subject, and I should've told her I'd rather not talk about it before I did. I try to stand on my own, slowly and carefully putting my feet down on the floor. They're not hurt, but they were in my mind just a few seconds ago, making me take great care not to fall due to pain at my legs. "The doctor said you should stay here for a couple of hours.", she says.

"The doctor can go fuck himself. I'm fine. I just hit my head.". She reluctantly lets me get up, then tells me that the doctor is the only one who knows what happened. "I told everyone else you slipped.". That is exactly what I would've wanted, but I didn't ask her to do it. I don't want others to worry about my problems, so I usually don't tell them what happened; as long as they didn't see it unfold, of course. If they did, I'd ask them not to spread the word. But she did that on her own. When I ask her why, she just glances downwards, then quickly tells me, "I don't know. I just followed my gut I guess", she says with a fake chuckle, as if she's hiding something and fabricating a story to cover it up. "Thanks", is everything I say before I walk out of the room and walk to my quarters.

* * *

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	8. VIII - Pressure

**Chapter VIII – Pressure –**

Rachel and I are once again revising Lances. I can see the frustration she carries as if it was physically in front of me. She's frustrated that she's hardly hitting any targets; that a dear friend of her is dead; that I won't talk to her about me freaking out yesterday, although she tries to keep this one hidden as best she can. "Again.", I say coldly and briefly as she steps out of the throwing stance. She looks at me in masked disdain and gets back in position. She throws, again and again, unable to connect her biotic fields with the target standing roughly thirty meters away. Each throw is followed by an exasperated grunt, turning louder and her throws faster every time. Eventually, one last lance leaves her hand accompanied by a wrathful scream; casting her frustration out almost as an angry deity, screaming hard enough to spell doom for mere mortals.

She lowers her stance and puts her hands on her knees, panting to regain air the effort. "We done yet?", she says in a somewhat aggressive tone of voice as she tilts her head towards me, still leaned down and breathing heavily. She gives me a look able to kill someone, as well as a softly mentioned tired expression, manipulating my decision into letting her go for today. She walks towards me and leans back on the pile of crates that I'm standing in front of. She starts slowly calming her breath and concentrating on something else that isn't James or my freak-out. She puts her uniform back on top of her shirt, covering her sweat marks and little blood stains from her nose, due to pushing her biotics way past her comfort zone. "Are you alright?", she asks as kindly as she can, with her eyes closed as she finishes catching her breath. I nod quickly while looking off in the distance, at the grim sight of Caryll hanging Khai Scheln's rifle at the top of the armory's wall, mourning his rival and friend.

"I meant about what happened yesterday, Derek.". Rachel's voice brings me back to reality. "You scared the hell outta me when you snapped like that.". I close my eyes and breathe vigorously, trying to keep my words to myself and contain the spike in anger, fear, and frustration that suddenly got into me. I look for something to tell her; possibly something decisive, that lets her understand it's not a subject I feel comfortable talking about. But at the same time I do not wish to appear rude or aggressive to her eyes. My indecision makes room to a stone-cold silence, which is an answer itself, but not the one I wanted. "Look, I understand it's not something you like reliving, but you need to talk about it with someone you trust. Jonas is a prime candidate, I think.". My eyes are still closed when I speak, "He was there with me, Rachel. He knows.". She sighs, feeling unhelpful. "Then why isn't he scared of that?". I stay silent again. I know exactly the answer to her question. But it's not any of her business, and it's definitely not worth risking to relieve it to let her know how I feel about it. Another sigh. "Derek, trust me. It's better if you…".

"If I what!?", I snap at her. "If I tell you about it? If I tell Jonas about it? What, you trying to get to know me? 'Cause I assure you it's not the right topic." She immediately backs down and gives me an apologizing look, which I ignore in the heat of the moment, blinded by anger. "You don't know the first thing about me, Dani. Quit pushing it.", I say before walking away.

* * *

Anger fades with each shot I take at the firing range. I must admit that it's a good way to calm down, pretending you're unloading your ammunition on one of those Reaper monstrosities, or a Cerberus trooper. It feels like comeuppance, every time I drop one of them. Of course, they don't understand my wrath nor thirst for vengeance, both being just a shell of a living being. But they still die, and – seeing their state – it almost feels like mercy at times. Both ways, it gives me a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction, knowing that justice has been served. I'm not really firing at them, but it still helps in the heat of the moment. Of course, it's never enough. There are always other monsters waiting for their actions to catch up with them. It's like a drug; and in my current angry, frustrated self I'm desperately looking for my next dose of killing.

I'm not even paying attention to what I'm doing. I just fire and reload; but in reality, my hands are doing everything on their own, just like when I'm playing a piece. They work alone, almost like a machine: they pull the trigger, take out the cylinder, put in the new clip, and repeat the process without even thinking about what they're doing. I get to what I think is the twentieth, maybe twenty-first clip before I sigh and switch the safety on, leaving the range. I pass by the armory, putting my gun on the table with the side displaying "_Hawk_" facing upward; then placing it back in the crate. Caryll, approaches me from behind me, "Hey, Ezail". I respond to his greeting and ask how he's feeling. "Hollow.", is his answer. He has an interesting expression. It's like his usual cheerfulness is being drowned by mourning, but still there on the edge of the water: still breathing and showing that it'll return to the surface, eventually. "Scheln was a bad motherfucker. My rival. I always wanted to win over him but… not like this.", he says while moving his glance downwards. He then raises it back up, "How do you like the shrine?", he says in a joking way; trying to lift both of our spirits. I chuckle, "It's beautiful.", I say as I look up at what used to be his weapon while he was alive. "I think he'd like that.".

"Well then you didn't know him.", he jokes before doing a clumsy impression of Scheln's voice, "_It's horrible, Caryll. You're bad and so is your team. Team 1 is sooo much better."_. He smiles. "If he'd have really told me he'd liked that, I'd be offended.". I understand how he's feeling. They were the best of friends, even if none of them were ever going to admit it. At least not while they were alive.

Another voice joins in from behind me: it's Karium. She greets us and grabs her rifle from the weapon rack. "How are you boys doing?". I shake my head and let out a slightly suffocated grunt, dismissing the question by giving it a quick – and possibly rude – answer stating that I'd rather leave the subject alone. She gives me an annoyed look and raises her eyes up to the ceiling, displeased with my response. "Spirits, I was just trying to make conversation."

"I'm not really in the mood for a chat, Karium. Sorry.", I reply as kindly as I can, which does nothing but annoy her even more. "You were chatting with Caryll up until now. Do I make you uncomfortable?". _Kind of_, I think. However, a quick shake of my head denies her assumption, giving her the exact opposite signal. "Why's that? Is it because I'm a turian?". Maybe a bit, yes. I'm definitely not adamant towards them, but not so much as to turn the cold shoulder to someone trying to talk to me. But ever since I overheard the end of her conversation with Corthias and Jonas in the med-bay a growing suspicion of the two has gotten into me. "What does that have to do with anything?". She hangs her rifle back on the rack and walks towards me. Standing just roughly two meters from me really brings out the difference in height between our races. Those five to ten centimeters really feel enormous from this distance. "What is it that you want, Karium? Are you _trying_ to piss me off?". She softly flinches at that and breaks eye contact with me for just a second, then looks back at me with newly found confidence and says, "Maybe I am."

"Very well, _turian_. You've got my attention.", I say accepting the challenge and walking forward. "Alright, alright. How about you take a step backward and try not to murder each other.", Caryll says trying to defuse the situation, which looks like it may blow up any second now. But he can't: his words slide off both of us and we keep staring at each other. "You racist, Ezail?".

"Oh no, believe me. I just hate you goddamn birds.". She laughs, mocking me. "Still sore for 314, are we?". I step closer again and we're almost at touching distance. "Right, '314'. You assholes bomb some civilians and call it an 'incident'. Like it's just some kind of mistake you made". She doesn't back down and leans towards me, "The only mistake we made was not bombing your kind out of existence, human.".

"Hey now.", Caryll steps in, "Easy with that.". Once again, his words are barren of any significance right now. Now it's basically become a game of 'who'll assault the other first', since we both know it'll happen eventually. "You lost someone there, LC? We weren't even born.", she says in a provoking tone. "Maybe.", I say, making her chuckle. "Was it your sister… no, wait! Your brother - Nick, right?"

"How the hell do you know that?". I say, leaning forward even more and clenching my fist behind my back. "Oh, I have my ways.". I can't control myself any longer. Before I even realize what I'm doing, I step back and assume throwing stance, raising my right arm almost as if to form a Lance, stopping myself just moments before actually doing so. She laughs while I walk back towards her in a normal standing position. "Yeah. You're fucking crazy, human.". I breathe as slowly as I can to calm myself down, "You know nothing about me, bitch.", I say. "I know a lot, actually. There's just one thing I can't wrap my head around, though…

… What exactly happened on Matol?"

My breathing turns slow and heavy, as I try to pull myself together to avoid slipping back into those memories. I try to distract myself as best as possible when that fails, and a strong feeling of nervousness hits me. I can't think on my own when I jump on her, punching her right in the mandibles once, and then again, and again, and again when she's down on the floor. Caryll pulls me away from her as she stands up; bluish, almost purple coloured blood spurting from her mouth. "There's a ring right there, turian.", I shout while Caryll holds me back from jumping on top of her again and hitting her more. "You and I. No rules, bring a knife if you want. You're fucking dead."

"PTSD, huh? Why are you even still in the army, you crazy motherfucker. Shouldn't you be in an asylum?". Caryll does his best to hold me still while walking backward, as far from her as possible. Unluckily for the both of them, I break free and push him to the ground, buying enough time to throw Karium backward with a biotic field; making her strike down some piled crates and fall right in the middle of them. I form a lance in my hand and are about to throw it, miscalculating the effect that it could have on her. But I don't much care if I kill her at this point, since I'm almost incapable of reasoning on my own. It's her lucky day, it would seem; as a biotic barrier forms near her and stops the incoming lance. I turn left to see T'Scoris and Rachel holding the barrier, while T'Rodae throws me on the ground with a mass effect field of her own; giving the signal for three other soldiers to come to immobilize me once I'm down. As the adrenaline slowly fades away, I feel myself slipping away in places I'd rather not explore. The conditioned temperature slowly turning in Matol's heat, amplified by its radiations. Jonas kneels beside me. That's when I lose control. The walls become rocks. The floor becomes hard and sandy, still wet with blood from the open wound on Niki's chest. Jonas is trying to pick me up and get me to cover. I failed.

I'm on Matol again. That's when the tranquilizer hits me, putting me in a prime condition to avoid a flashback. But to relieve it completely.


	9. IX - Matol

**Chapter IX – Matol - **

"You still alive, Derek?", Niki's soothing voice takes me back to reality. "You've been staring at a wall for a while now.". She sits down beside me and puts her hand on my right shoulder. "Yeah, I'm alright. Just thinking about stuff."

The entire crew is on edge. We recently received a distress signal from the planet Matol while patrolling the Herschel system and a subsequent regroup order in the planet's orbit by the rest of the ships. But we've been here for a while and no other ship showed up. It doesn't help with the fact that more than one Alliance ship has gone missing in this sector, and the distress signal may come from one of them. But for all we know it may well be the trap that lured them in, and we'd be falling for that too. The only real threat that there's ever been in this region were pirates. Not the kind of people to attack Alliance vessels. It'd be a death sentence for them to do so: even if they won the fight, a petty pirate crew cannot hope to withstand the retaliation the Alliance would send their way. And we don't even know if it _is_ pirates we are talking about here.

Niki quickly gazes at the datapad I'm holding in my hands and sees the message I received from Elia. She softly smiles, knowing how much she means to me and imagining what having a sibling might be like. She doesn't read the full message, she just asks me how she's doing. I tell her she's doing good, and is just waiting for me to get back home. Niki has never met Elia, but I've talked about her quite a lot. She always says that 'if she didn't know she was my sister, she'd be jealous'

A loud and sudden noise interrupts our chat, followed by the high pitched sound of the alarm. The ship shakes and lets out a metallic roar. We already know what it means: our shields are doing their best to deflect incoming attacks; but if the ship shook, it means they've already taken a beating. Without even a grain of hesitation, we rush to the elevator and go down to the armory and shuttle bay, as the captain's voice announces the situation,

"We are under attack"

* * *

We grab our weapons and load fresh clips in them, yet keeping the safeties on to avoid any accident. It's not like pirates to shoot first on our vessels; but if they do, they definitely want something we have, and we need to defend the ship in case of a hostile attempt at boarding. We notice the elevator close and go up, and at a moment's notice all guns on the deck are pointed at it. The safeties are off; the guns loaded and the fingers are on the trigger. Small drips of sweat fall from the sides of my forehead down to my cheeks, as the tension rises. From the corners of my eyes I see teammates tell recruits to get out of the way, afraid that their fear may make them trigger happy and fire on what could be friendlies without assessing the threat.

As the elevator doors slide open, we all let out a sigh of relief at the sight of Jonas and three other marines stepping out of it and onto the deck. "Would you kindly not kill us, guys?"

"Fuckin' hell, Jon.", says Jack putting his sniper rifle on the holster on his back and letting out a deep breath. "I was one second away from blowing your head off. Where the hell have you been?"

"The bridge. ", says one of the marines, who I recognize to be the highest rank on the deck at the moment: Lieutenant Varey. "We got four bogeys firing on us. Captain wants us to abandon the ship.

"They're not boarding us?", one of the shuttle pilots asks surprised.

"They're giving us all they've got. Doesn't look like that's their intention.", Varey replies. "And it doesn't look like pirates to me. Those ships are almost as good as our own.", Jonas adds while grabbing his rifle from the rack and passing along the other ones to the lieutenant and the other two marines with him.

"My thoughts exactly.", continues Varey. "Are all shuttle pilots here?", he asks, getting an affirmative response. "Good. Prep the shuttles, we're leaving."

"Where the hell is the captain, LT?", asks one of the shuttle pilots.

"He's leaving last. Said he'd take an escape pod. He wants the rest of us to rendezvous planetside and wait for backup."

"Bullshit, you just wanna save your skin. I'm staying here. I'll wait for the captain."

"It's your funeral. Everyone else get ready to..."

Another blast is heard, louder than all the others. And this time, the ship suffers a hull breach. We feel a loss of gravity, as the breach is precisely on this deck's hull, and we are all pulled towards it. Niki and I hold on to one of the racks we're next to, which miraculously stays still. Jonas is further away from the rack, and gets pulled toward the hole. I catch him with an arm and stop him; however, I'm starting to lose my grip on the rack. As soon as I do, the shutters activate and seal the breach, but not in time to save some of the marines who had nothing to hold on to and weren't as lucky as Jonas.

Varey's voice rises up once again, this time filled with distress and fear, "On the shuttles. Now!". We all follow his orders and board whatever shuttle is nearest to us, without even considering what'll happen to the people still on board. Surely, if they knew the hull was breached, they'd be rushing to a means of escape. But without the shuttles the only option left is the escape pods, which may not be reached in time to evacuate before the ship is destroyed. The enemy has already pierced the hull, it won't take long to finish the job.

The shuttles depart from the ship in a haste I'd never thought possible. The usual rattle of the engines turned into a roar, almost as if the adrenaline coursing through our veins was somehow fueling the craft to make it go faster. The rain of fire from the hostile ships continues, and it may only be a question of chance if we make it or not; and if we do, it'll be a close call. And a close call it is indeed. A loud blast followed by a wall of fire coming towards us is what tells us we barely made it off. All that previously was standing in the shuttle bay is now ash, and soon after the entire ship faces the same fate. No escape pods. No more shuttles. No survivors.

The blast hits us, being the last shuttle out and the closest to it. It severely damages our engine: we're still able to fly, but the power isn't enough. We're helplessly being dragged towards Matol. But this damage may be a fortune, all things considered. Once the ship is destroyed, the enemies start firing on the convoy of shuttles we're on. Seeing us go down, almost certainly doomed, persuades them to prioritize the other crafts.

Our pilot, Chris, is doing whatever is in his power to alleviate the velocity at which we are falling. This way, hopefully, we'll be able to survive the inevitable impact route we're on. We feel our speed dramatically increase immediately after passing the atmosphere. All of Chris' attempts at reducing the velocity seem to be working, and according to him a helping factor is Matol's gravity and pressure being half of Earth's. This of course does not stop us, and just slightly increases our odds of survival. Odds that somehow, were high enough for most of us to live. Most of us.

We make a small assessment of the situation after the crash. Of the nine people on the shuttle, three were killed in the crash: two marines I didn't know, and Lieutenant Varey. Niki, Jonas, Chris are alive, along with our sniper, Jack and our engineer, Willow.

We salvage what we can from the crash site: a weapon for Chris, a first aid kit, spare clips, power cells, and the three KIA's dog tags. We try to send a message to the other Alliance vessels in the system, but only get static as an answer. We get on the move immediately, since the ships definitely saw us go towards the planet and will be going for the shuttle if they followed us.

After half an hour on foot, we find ourselves on top of a hill; spotting a camp in the large valley below. A ship lands just a few hundred meters from the main structure, and Jonas (having been on the bridge) recognizes it as one of the ones that attacked us. Three shuttles take off from the base and come towards us, causing us to get down to avoid being spotted. They overfly us and go straight for the distant column of smoke coming from our shuttle.

"Who the hell are these guys?" asks Jack. "Don't look like pirates to me."

"You bet your ass they aren't," replies Willow. "Look at those ships. Those things are military-grade frigates, for crying out loud."

"What I thought," says Jack, observing the camp through the scope of his sniper rifle. "Are you taking a piss? These guys have Widows. That shit can take your head clean off, without even minding barriers.". He puts his rifle away to avoid anyone seeing the sun reflect on the scope. "Why don't I have one of those?"

"Thought you liked your Mantis." jokes Jonas.

"It's nothing compared to that thing, Jon. Believe me."

"Yeah guys, that's all well and good, but are we going to do anything about being stranded here?", says Chris

"We can't hide for long, that's for sure.", says Niki. "They know we're here and they're looking for us.". Silence falls on us, as everyone tries to think of a plan. Their eyes going from looking up to the sky to down to the ground, shaking their head. The plan that they thought of wasn't going to work.

"We attack the camp.". These are the words that break the silence. My words. The group looks at me. Their reactions are mixed: from Niki and Jonas slowly and softly nodding looking down, realizing there's no other way; to Jack giving me a look that could kill.

"That's a fun way to get killed, Derek.", Chris says. I can see why he would be concerned. Why he would be scared. He just recently became a father, he's not ready to die before at least seeing his son once.

"We don't have a choice, Chris." I continue. "The rest of the flotilla doesn't know we're here. They're not looking for us, and even if they were they wouldn't get here on time. The only chance we've got is if we face them."

"And how does that even accomplish anyth…", he continues angrily before being interrupted by Willow. She pulls him backward after he menacingly leaned towards me. "What do you have in mind?" she asks.

"We sneak into the camp, steal a shuttle, and leave. If they find us, we fight anyone on our way." I reply. Silence falls once again as the others begin to understand that this may really be our only way out. "We have to try."

"I'll stay here and watch your back," Jack says, loading a clip into his sniper rifle. "Can you come to pick me up later? That'd be appreciated, boys."

"I think I can overload their generators and take out the lights. The sun should set not long from now." Willow says. "Should help us get there undetected."

"Good," I say. We all look towards Chris, which is still skeptical about this plan. It's five on one, though, and he understands he has no choice. "We need you to fly us home, pal." Says Jack.

"I want a goddamn medal for this. Pass a clip, Derek.". I pass it along and he loads it into his rifle. "As soon as the sun is down, we step down the hill, take out the lights, and go for the shuttle. Jack, we'll give you coordinates for the rendezvous.". He nods.

"Let's do this, everyone."

* * *

The plan is in motion. After just half an hour the sun is completely gone, apparently, this planet is currently in its 'winter' season. We move around the walls and find a small entrance, allowing us into the camp. We stop just outside of it as we wait for Willow to find a generator. "Right after the entrance. Building to the left." She says, telling us to go.

"This camp is fucking huge.", says Jack over the radio, prompting an immediate response from Jonas telling him to cut the chatter and cover our back. We enter the building and are met by a guard, who immediately raises his gun; not in time to stop Niki from jumping on top of him, planting her knife on the poorly armored zone of his uniform, on his neck. Willow immediately starts working on the large generator in the room while we hide the body.

"Look at this armor. It's almost better than ours.", Jonas comments while we lift the body. The armor is pitch black, almost reminiscent of what some of the pirates and mercs we've fought before were using. But this one is more advanced, from the shielding system to the HUD in the helmet. It's military-grade, if not better. "Seriously, who the hell are these guys?" asks Chris. "Private army? Mercs?"

"Their hardware would seem to say yes, but why are they targeting Alliance ships? Who do they work for?" continues Jonas. "It doesn't make sense."

"Uhh, guys?" Jack says on the comms. "They have snipers coming on the hills too. I've gotta stay in cover for a bit."

"You think they have night vision?", I ask him.

"Well, I do. Wouldn't surprise me if they did as well. I'd be very careful if I were… shit!"

"Jack, what's going on.". I only hear frantic steps and heavy breathing from the comms for a couple of seconds, then he explains, "One of them just arrived on my hill, I'm hiding. No idea how he didn't see me. I'll sneak up on him."

"Can that guy take anything seriously once in a while?" says Willow. "Anyway, the thing's rigged. Give me the word and I'll overload it.".

"Alright. Let's move to the next building before blowing it. They're going to come and check the generator. Jack, have you dealt with that guy.", I say. I hear some fighting noises, concluding in a pained grunt, and heavy breathing slowly fading away. "Yep, he's done for. I'll tap into their comms.".

* * *

Once we reach the near building, Willow overloads the generator. As planned, all the lights in the camp go out. We use the darkness and confusion to make our way to the hangar. We move from building to buiding, silently killing any hostiles on the way and hiding their bodies. It's when we're moving out of the last building that things don't go as planned.

Between that building and the hangar there's a large open area. It's free of any guards, tempting to cross. That's the mistake. We don't get spotted by any guards; on the way there, however, a shot from one of the snipers misses Jonas by a small distance. Just after that, the alarms start to go off. We kill the few already in the hangar thanks to both the confusion of the alarms and the element of surprise; we bunker in the building. Enemies start to converge on us, and we take the first few squads relatively easily. But after just a short time, their numbers start to become less and less manageable. Chris is trying to start the only shuttle inside the hangar, and not out in the open. The enemies keep coming: more, and more, and more.

"This one's fucked! The engine won't start!" he shouts while stepping out of the shuttle. "The other one on the strip. It should have the right parts to make it work.". He starts running towards it as we shout for him to get back, but it's too late: he's already on his way. I don't know what made him think that he could make it. And I don't know what makes me think I can save him. But I try regardless; I run after him. I'm about to reach him, but a grenade explodes at his feet, blasting me backward.

I regain my senses and crawl through the dirt towards the crater, the rattle of the shots flying overhead barely hearable after I was deafened by the blast. Not much further I find Chris: His skin, burnt; his leg blown off below the knee. A shiver goes down my spine, as I recall the words he spoke a few days ago; when he announced our team that he had just become a father. That was three days before we were stranded here. And now, he'll never get to meet his child.

My leg is also injured, and I fall back down when I try to stand up. Niki sees this and runs towards me, trying to drag me on the floor to cover, far from danger and far from Chris' lifeless corpse. The amount of fire from the enemy's position is as intense as it can get, and we're being currently protected by the shuttle Chris was going for. Right now all we can do is sit behind cover and hope that Jack's aim is good enough to eliminate them so we can move further.

The amount of fire intensifies even more, as she tries to get me to safety. The only words I can form are to tell her to leave me here, to go to cover before they kill her too. Another explosion hits close to us and sends her flying a few meters away. I try to stand up to go to her, but my legs can't carry my weight; I plummet to the ground in a fit of pain. I crawl towards her, only to see her overcome her struggle and get up. I tell her to go once more. "I won't leave you", I read on her lips, since the sound of gunfire covering her voice. She gets close to me and extends her arm to help me. That's when the shot crackles and flies over my head, passing through both her barriers and her chest. Blood splashes on my face and armor, as she falls to the ground and into a small crater. I crawl there to her. I call her name, beg for her to stay as I frantically look for a way to save her. She makes a painful sound with her throat and puts her hand on my face. I lean forward and kiss her, and for just a moment all the sounds of battle stop. There's nothing around me. No battle, no enemies. Nothing.

I only snap back to reality once our lips separate. "I…". She musters her remaining strength to speak. "L… love…". Her gaze is fixed on the sky, tears falling to the sides of her face.

"No, no, no… Niki you'll be alright… I … I promise. Jonas! Willow! She needs help.". I once again try to stand up, only for my legs to fail me once again. Jonas and Willow both get out of cover to come and help us. Jonas grabs Niki in his arms while Willow drags me on the floor, her slender build not being strong enough to carry me. We get back to the hangar, during the last few meters to it Jonas and Willow received a considerable amount of fire, which luckily lasted only a few seconds: their barriers were almost taken down. Jonas applies medigel to Niki's wound and to my leg and treats her trauma as best as he can. The relief I feel is almost idyllic, and I can stand up again; though not without effort.

"I need to get that part Chris mentioned or we're dead. Cover me." Says Willow. Jonas and I lay down as much covering fire as possible, which is surprisingly enough to get her there. "Jack, how are things on your end?" I ask over the comms.

"I've been rather busy with these snipers. There's only one left." He says. "The one to the north."

"The one that just shot Niki. Snipe him for me."

"Will do. How are you guys doing?"

"Terribly. Chris is dead, Niki's badly wounded and the shuttle isn't going to fly unless Willow finds a part for it."

"Who the hell's going to fly it?"

"I can." Willow joins in the conversation. "Or at least I can try. I found the part, I'm coming back."

"Don't." says Jack. After a short while, he speaks again. "There you are.". We hear his rifle fire both with the naked ear and on the radio. "Got him. You can go Willow."

We see her rush out of the shuttle and back here. She immediately jumps into the one in the hangar and starts working on repairs. While Jonas and Jack suppress the enemy, I tend to Niki's wound, applying a second dose of medigel and some stimulants. "Derek… I'm…" she whispers. "You'll be alright. I promise."

I raise my glance just in time to see a missile flying towards the bunker, hitting the shuttle and causing it to explode with Willow still inside. Jonas and I are blasted backward by the explosion and I can't seem to stand back up. The enemies start coming towards our position.

"They're here! They flanked me!" I hear Jack say on the radio while I'm down on the ground. "Shit! There's too many of them… Whatever you guys are doing you better do it…". He gets interrupted by the whistle of a bullet and the sound of it impacting on his body. I hear a pained grunt and a thud when he hits the floor. The sound of footsteps follows, getting stronger and stronger as they approach Jack. "Take your best, you merc son of a bitch." Is the last thing he says, amidst heavy breaths and grunts, before a final gunshot takes over the audio feed.

The enemy soldiers have found us lying in the hangar. I create a small biotic field between me and Jonas with one hand, and a barrier towards the enemies. I instruct Jonas to shoot the field between us. His bullets are left floating in the field. I turn the hand holding it towards the enemies and accelerate the projectiles it keeps mid-air. They fly toward them like shotgun pellets, taking down three of them. Still, it's not enough to save me from being hit in the face with the butt of a rifle. Jonas tries to draw his sidearm from its holster, but is stopped by a soldier kicking him in the stomach and repeatedly hitting his face with his fist. The others point their guns at us. They're ordered to bring us out into the open to be executed. This is how we should have died: three marines, facing overwhelming odds and failing. About to die at the hands of an enemy with no name. "Who are you?" Jonas utters to one of them. His answer is another kick, this time in the abdomen. "Stick together 'til the end, Jonas?". I get hit by the butt of a rifle, as a punishment for speaking. "'til the end, Derek.". Images flash before my eyes. Elia bringing flowers to my coffin, one of six coffins with no bodies in them. I see Elia on the streets, like after our father died. But this time, I'm not by her side. I see the Alliance, giving her the medal they'd have given me. What use is it? Why would she want a medal? How can a medal help her cope with the loss? It would definitely not be enough for me.

That's how it should have ended. But right as the hangmen have loaded their guns, four shuttles storm the camp. They land with haste, and their soldiers lay down a rain of fire, killing the ones about to execute us, then the ones around us. It's the Alliance. Those who didn't die to the hailstorm of bullets, run away. The marines help us get up and walk to the shuttles, two of them carry Niki on a stretcher. "Are there any more?"

"We're the only ones left." Jonas says before I do. "How did you find us?"

"You contacted us more than an hour ago. We came as fast as we could."

I fall to my knees. Hiding was not only an actual option, it was the best one. And I didn't know it.

"Let's go before they come back. We'll take you back to your ship."

"We don't have a ship anymore. They destroyed it."

"Who are these guys?"

"We don't know.", I say.

They help us get on a shuttle, loading Niki's stretcher on a different one. Several thoughts rush to my head. I was the one that led them here. I was the one that ordered the attack.

Chris' child will never have a father, and it's my fault.

Willow's fiancée will never have a wife, and it's my fault.

Jack was young. Too young and too talented to die like this, and it's my fault.

I should have known help was coming.

I caused this. It's my fault.

* * *

To this day, the investigations conducted by the Alliance never gave true results. Like something inside the Alliance itself didn't want it to learn who it was that killed my squad. Pirates, some say. Others say mercs. Others still say that it was a private army. But nobody was there. Nobody can understand how it was impossible for them to be something like that. An Alliance strike force was sent on-site a week after the crash. The enemies had regrouped, but they were wiped out by the retaliation we sent. It felt like comeuppance, but it still isn't enough to convince me that those who died that day are resting peacefully.

I remember praying, for the first time in my life, that night. I never believed in an upper power, but that night… that night I asked that if someone was up there, they could save Niki's life. But those prayers, as I should've expected, were nothing but the words of a desperate man, blind to the truth of his mistakes. She got on the shuttle still alive. When she arrived on the ship they brought us to, her breath had already faded away. She didn't have any family, but I cared about her. It was the first meaningful connection I had made with someone since Jonas. The first time I fell in love. I had lost a part of me that day.

And a part of my mind was lost as well. It's been seven years since it happened. It still haunts me, because I know all the pain felt that day was my own doing.

And to this day, I know… The families that were broken that day. The relationships that were severed, the lives cut prematurely. I was never born a leader. I was never meant to be one, and it showed that day. I led those people to their deaths, hot-headedly. Had I been patient, and not on a blaze of glory, maybe they'd still be alive. I got a medal for what I did that day. Six of us against an army, and we won. It seemed like an accomplishment to the higher-ups.

It was no accomplishment. It was a mistake, a failure.

And it's my fault.


	10. X - Departure

**Chapter X – Departure – **

Once more I open my eyes to the sight of the med-bay's white walls. I take my usual few seconds to recall what happened, what I dreamt about, and try to assess the situation. The room is empty except for me; whatever I did to Karium wasn't enough to have her brought here. And it's a relief – I'm already in deep trouble without having killed her. I wouldn't mind seeing her get some comeuppance for what she's done, but I'd rather not be the one that gives it to her. And I'm thankful to Rachel and T'Scoris for having stopped me from hitting her with that lance. I wouldn't want to have to answer to such a thing.

I don't know if doctors would allow me to leave the med-bay; but since I'm not hurt – and they're not here –, I get out from the bed and walk out, trying to find Jonas. There's a long list of people I'd rather not meet on my way. Corthias isn't at the top, but he's not that far behind either. So, of course, he's the first one I see. I'm expecting him to walk up to me, pin me to the wall, and skin me alive, honestly. He'd have every right to, at least, throw me off the ship. Instead, he gives me a look so full of hatred to be fearful when on a human's face, not to mention a turian's; yet, he doesn't come towards me and just keeps walking towards wherever his destination is. I'm not fluent in many languages, especially alien ones; and I sure as hell can't identify their body language well. But I do understand when someone is giving me the chance to escape my impending doom; momentarily, at least. And I'm not dumb enough to not take the chance.

The second person I meet is Rachel, in the elevator. She looks down when she sees me, instead of looking directly at me like Corthias. Two out of three. The only missing person on the list is Karium herself; and, possibly, Captain Reed, though meeting him wouldn't be as hard as facing, say, Corthias. He has more authority to kick me out, sure, but he didn't appear to me to be the type to flail me with words. Or actually flailing me. Rachel remains silent, she probably remembers how we didn't leave each other on the best of terms yesterday. "Where's Jonas?" I ask. She stays silent for a little while before telling me he went down in the engineering deck for something, and that he'd be back to the armory soon. The silence falls once again, only being broken by the beeping sound the elevator display makes when I select the armory as my destination. Then, after a while, she is the one to break it, "Look, Derek, I'm sorry about what happened…"

"Forget about it, Rachel. You're not the first to be insistent about the matter. And right now I suspect you won't be the last.". The rest of the elevator ride is the same as it was when it began: silent. She looks like she feels guilty for pushing my buttons yesterday; and frankly, deep down, I too feel guilty for having snapped at her. The elevator doors open, and I'm out before one could even blink. I take a look around the room and see no Jonas. And no Karium. Rachel told me he'd get here soon, so I sit on an empty crate near the weapon rack and wait.

* * *

It seems like luck itself wants to punish me today, as Corthias gets here before Jonas does. And this time, he's headed right for me. I look down and close my eyes: he's here. It's time to face the music. When I open them again and look up he's already near me. I stand up and salute, with a look that probably reads '_make it quick and painless_' on my face. I almost expect a punch, slap, head-butt, whatever at this point. He takes a deep breath before speaking in a calm voice, "Tell me what happened, Ezail.". I was beginning to believe he was incapable of not being pissed every second of his existence, yet there's no anger in his voice. No harsh words, no condescending attitude. You could almost compare him to a father asking his child why he misbehaved. At least, he makes it look like that. The way he's been treating me since I came on board, and the look he gave me when I left the med-bay, make it rather obvious that 'son' is in all likelihood not present in the list of words he'd call me. "I lost control, sir.". He softly nods and slightly looks down. "If you wanted to ask me about… well, about Matol… I really wouldn't be comfortable with that, sir.". He breathes in once again. "Ezail, I have access to your files. There's no need for it.". I'm not sure how to feel about him knowing what happened there. I honestly don't know why I hadn't thought of that before. It makes sense he'd already know. At least I don't have to tell him myself. "I know it sounds obvious, but it wasn't my intention to try and kill her, sir.". He nods. "I know you're in no condition to talk to each other, but she wanted to apologize to you."

"Thank you, sir.".

"Just make it so it doesn't happen again. There's enough shit going on without having to take disciplinary action against someone.". I nod and remain silent for a while before he says, "I've got to go. The captain's expecting me in the CIC to get ready for the briefing.".

What briefing is he talking about? Have we already received an assignment while I was out?

"_Attention please. All marines are requested in the CIC in five minutes."_, says a voice on the intercom, right as I'm about to ask. "Well speak of the devil…", Corthias says. We make our way to the elevator along with Caryll and Rachel's sister, Julia, who were with us in the armory deck. "What's this all about?", Julia asks. Caryll shrugs, "I don't know, but I'm all for it if it means we'll stop sitting on our asses."

* * *

"Not long ago we received reports of unusual Reaper activity around the colony of Anhur, in the Eagle Nebula.", Captain Reed explains while a hologram of the planet appears over the galaxy map. A red dot starts blinking on a specific point of the planet's image. "This is the planet's capital, New Thebes. It was attacked by the Reapers just a few days ago, and we've received almost no intel by our drones. Only one was able to send us some bits of data before being jammed. Reapers aren't usually gunning for drones, or aiming to disable them; but it seems like they're deliberately trying to block us from having any knowledge of what is happening there." He continues. An image of the drones used by the Alliance to gather information appears as soon as he mentions them. "It looks like the Reapers are trying to hide something there, and Alliance Command wants eyes on it. That's why we've been called."

"Our shuttles are outfitted with a prototype stealth system: they'll get a small team of volunteers on the ground." Corthias continues where the Captain left off, "They'll go into radio silence and scout the area to find out whatever they can. Once the mission is complete they'll leave the city and contact us when they're far enough from the site for pick-up. If the Reapers learn about your location and come in numbers, we won't be able to pull you out. Any questions?"

"You can count me in, sir.", Caryll says as soon as the Commander is finished. "Good. I'll need two more.". Rachel volunteers after a few seconds of silence, with her sister following right after; however, Corthias stops her in her tracks, "Negative, Lieutenant. I want a CROSS agent on the ground.". I'd have imagined a volunteer to come up almost instantly; but, to my surprise, the Commander's orders are just followed by an awkward silence, almost as if everyone expected someone else to respond immediately. I know this kind of situation, I've seen it before: It's only a matter of time before Jonas volunteers. And I don't want him to go on a mission like this. Not because I don't think he's up for it, I know that he could do it. But if the mission really is that dangerous I don't want him to go there without me, I don't want him to be alone. And I hate waiting for him to come back without having any news.

So I beat him to it and volunteer.

Corthias immediately gives me a concerned look. Worried both for my good and for the team's. He knows what happened yesterday and what caused me to snap, and for a moment I'm expecting him to bench me. He asks me if I'm sure and I give my response at muzzle velocity. He thinks about it for a second before giving in.

"Alright. You three report to the shuttle bay at midnight. In the meantime, I suggest you take some rest.".

* * *

The heat of the fire warms my previously frozen hands, causing unbearable itchiness; and yet a sense of relief. It gets cold here during the night. So damn cold. I stand up, grab a ration from the bag near the fire, and head out of the ruined building. We're lucky to have found this place here: near the outskirts but still out of the city. Far enough so that the Reapers won't find us. The walls also help us hide the light made by the fire. You can notice it if you're close enough, but we haven't seen Reaper scouts here in the three days we've been here. The view is not bad either. True, what I see might be a ruined city, probably the dying place of thousands of souls; but you have look on the bright side of things, or at least try to do so. Being on the lookout is surprisingly a rather tranquil job. Aside from the growls made by the Reapers off in the distance everything is silent and calm, and you even hear a bird tweet from time to time. I head back into the building, where Desmond and Rachel are asleep. Seeing them like this is almost comforting, knowing that they trust me enough to look out for them while they're at their most vulnerable. But at the same time, it sends shivers down my spine, as I ask myself if I really could protect them and if they really should put so much faith in me. I dropped a goddamn building on them on Sur'Kesh, after all. I sit back down by the fire and finish my ration. I always liked the taste of it. I'm told it's something called 'ossilbir' that's in these, some sort of vine grown on Sathur. Maybe the fact that the food I used to eat in my childhood tasted awful is the reason why I think MREs were a huge improvement. People who came from more fortunate backgrounds usually complain about the food, but I don't remember the taste of the 'good food' my mother used to cook before she died.

"Derek.", a soft voice female voice whispers from my left. I turn around and see Rachel, still asleep. Did she say it? I'm about to wake her up when my name is called again, "Derek.". This time, the whisper is a bit louder, but still not to the point where I would recognize the voice. Another whisper comes; and, once again, it's louder than the previous one. This time, I recognize the voice. And I understand that something's not right when I make it to be Elia's. Almost on cue with my realization, the whispers turn to screams. Screams of fear; and, later, of pain. I run towards the source, in another part of the building. A dreadful sight manifests itself in front of me, a beast towering over her, devouring her and tearing her apart with teeth and claws, all while she's still alive. As soon as it notices me, it leaves its prey agonized on the ground and, after getting back on all fours, leaps towards me and slashes me with its claws.

* * *

As all other nights before, I wake up with a scream. This time though, Jonas isn't here; and I'm left with a sense of dread and helplessness. I check the time on my omnitool: twenty past eleven. An improvement over the previous amounts of sleep. I woke up only ten minutes before my alarm. I get out of my bunk and put my boots on. A voice from behind me calls my name, but it doesn't freak me out since it's not Elia's. "Everything alright, Ezail?". I turn around to see Lidon looking at me waiting for an answer. His salarian eyes look almost creepy in the darkness of the room, and it doesn't help that I do find Lidon a little weird. "Nothing. Just a bad dream.". He keeps staring directly at me and without skipping a beat says, "You suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, do you not?".

"That was really just a guess?". I say while sitting down on the bunk to tie my shoelaces. "No. Diagnosis.". I sigh, "It's kind of a dick question to ask people, Lidon.". I put my leather jacket on and start making my way to the door. "Rather obvious. Best explanation for repeated nightmares during adulthood in humans. Unless..."

"Unless?", I urge him to continue.

"For your sake, I hope the answer to first question is 'yes'. My other diagnosis… Problematic.". I think I know what he's trying to imply here.

"No shit.", I say as I walk out.

* * *

"Matol or Elia?" Jonas asks me whispering. I tell him it's the latter, while my eyes are fixed on the floor. "Care to tell me?"

I tell him everything I dreamt about tonight, and how it has me worried for the coming mission. I've never been to Anhur, so I'm not entirely sure that's the planet I dreamt of being on. But I _was_ on a mission with just Caryll and Rachel, so the answer is most likely 'yes'. And from what I hear, it's a garden world; further backing up the theory that that's the place.

My two teammates step out of the elevator and head straight to the rack from where I already grabbed my gear. Then, when they too are ready, Corthias orders us to get on board the shuttle. Jonas hugs me and pats me on the back twice. "I'm going to kill you if you die down there," he says, chuckling. I'm starting to head to the shuttle when I turn around to see the elevator open again. It's Julia, Rachel's sister. The two start walking towards each other and hug when they get close. They stay in each other's arms noticeably longer than Jonas and I did; and, although I'm a bit distant, I seem to make out tears in Julia's eyes. When they both leave each other's embrace, they whisper a few words to each other. After that, Rachel starts going to the shuttle. I do too, but only make a couple of steps before someone touches my shoulder. I turn around to see Julia standing right in front of me; her eyes red, with light reflecting on the shiny tears in them. She must've sprinted to reach me this fast. I didn't even hear her.

"You're the highest-ranking officer on the mission, Ezail.". She says before looking down and wiping her tears on her sleeve, then continuing where she left off, "If anything happens to her, there's no N7 tricks that can save you from what I'll do to you.". I look down, trying to deflect what that comment means to me, "That's called insubordination, LT.", I say with very little irony, yet just enough to make it clear that I'm not serious about it. It's clear she doesn't trust me much, but she's making an effort to do so; and since last time I dropped a building on her sister, I don't blame her for being this reluctant to put her under my wing. I don't think I'd entrust Elia to anyone other than Jonas; especially someone who almost, even if accidentally, killed her. Honestly, I'm thankful that she even allowed it. Maybe, had she had a choice, she wouldn't have. But that's where we're at. "Look, I don't know how much my word's worth. But I promise you I'll do everything I can.". She closes her eyes for a second and softly nods, "For your sake, I hope you do.".

I nod, turn to the shuttle and walk to it, stepping on board once there. Corthias wishes us good luck and tells us to contact the ship as soon as the mission's completed.

"Ezail, you're in charge of the operation. What you say, goes.". He looks like he's got something else to say, but is thinking about it. I expect him to tell me something along the lines of 'don't fuck this up'. Maybe that's what he's thinking, but instead just decides to repeat his wish of 'good luck' and walk away. I close the shuttle door afterward and tell our pilot to take us in.

I sit on one of the benches on the shuttle and close my eyes to reflect. Several things come up in my mind: Julia making an effort to trust me enough to look after Rachel; Corthias telling me that I'm in charge… I remember what happened the last time I was in charge: everyone in my squad except for Jonas died. Maybe volunteering wasn't that good of an idea. I bet Julia would have had no problem with entrusting Rachel to Jonas. Corthias would have had no problem letting Jonas lead the operation. It's too late to change things now, to undo my selfish decision. But maybe there's a way for me to prevent screwing this up. As the shuttle's engines rattle, I open my eyes,

"Caryll, you're in charge of this operation.".


	11. XI - Anhur

**Chapter XI – Anhur **

The shuttle touches down, and we open the doors to reveal the surreal landscape laid before us: green hills spanning far enough for the eye to lose its grasp on them. A city of prefabricated buildings filling the valley between the uplands. The ear can even make out the song of birds, although faint and in the background. I could tell Jonas everything we learn about what the Reapers are doing here, and yet the most unbelievable thing to him would be the chirping of birds. We both simply hadn't heard it in too much, almost ever since we left Earth. The Reapers are here, and yet they sing freely. There's something really poetic in that, almost as if Life itself was staring down the jaws of Death, but smiling; knowing that no matter how hard it bites, it will continue to exist. Even the distant growls of the Reapers is barely enough to snap us back to reality and remind us of our goal here. Even paradise has its demons, it would appear.

We grab our bags containing the supplies we'll need for the mission and carry them out of the shuttle. Once we're done, Caryll knocks his hand twice on the side of the shuttle, signaling the pilot to take off. Maybe he'd like to wish us luck, but Corthias' policy of radio silence has already kicked in. Caryll is still trying to understand what my decision to relieve myself of command meant. He wasn't expecting it, especially not immediately after Corthias made it clear what kind of authority I had. In a way, I still feel responsible for the mission, but at the same time I know I'd better not be the one calling the shots, I'm just not qualified in any way. Plus, I'm pretty sure Corthias would be perfectly fine with my decision; he was reluctant to put me in charge in the first place.

All in all, Caryll reacted pretty well. He's fine with the decision, he's gotten used to leading his own team. But even though he accepted, he's still trying to understand if something is up. He's not wrong to think that, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know in what way. We begin to scout the area in search of a place good enough to serve us both as a shelter and as a vantage point to plan our next movements.

After a little reconnaissance, we decide to start making our way to a small building situated on the northern hills surrounding the colony of New Thebes. Not too far away, considering we landed on the north-eastern ones.

* * *

The journey to the building is strangely quiet. I'd have sworn we'd encounter at least a few Reapers creeping in the dark, jumping on us once the situation is good enough. And yet, not a single one stood in the way. I'm so getting used to things going south recently, that all I think is that something's up. Things are calm now, sure; but we better not let our guard down.

The building we arrived at appears to be a farm, sitting lonely a few kilometers away from the city's outskirts. Its crops still waving in the wind, waiting to be reaped; some of them have already begun to wither. The farmer has abandoned them; by now he's either dead or, hopefully, very far away. According to Rachel, the size of both the cultivated land and the building itself gives out details about the people who lived here. "They didn't farm for profit. They came here looking for a peaceful life.". She looks down, breaking the stem of one of the already dead plants. She lifts it up and spins it in her hand, examining it. Her voice turns somber, "I hope they enjoyed it while it lasted.".

The door was left unlocked by the ones once living here, which points to the fact that maybe they at least escaped from here. I don't know what happened next, but I'd rather not think about something like this. Had we not moved to the Citadel before the war, Elia and I may have been in the same situation. A small aisle brings us from the entrance to a living room, a room whose decorations suggest how homey it used to feel time ago.

We clear the small coffee table in the middle of the room, being as respectful as possible to any personal effects placed on it. There is no explanation to the gesture since those objects likely don't matter anymore, their owners likely being dead. But it's almost automatic, how we immediately take great care of them. As if a part of their soul still lived inside them.

Once there's nothing left on the table, we put our bags on the ground around it, emptying them and placing our thermal clips on it. I use my omnitool to bring up a hologram of the city of New Thebes, whose schematics were given to me by Corthias, still thinking that I would lead the mission.

"We still have around three hours before the sun rises. I'd say we do a preliminary reconnaissance of the area, bunker in here for the day, and scout the area properly tomorrow at night." Caryll says, with the same expression I often saw on Jonas' face when he was deep in his own thoughts, trying to figure out a plan of action. "Squad, ideas?" he adds, mocking Corthias' voice. It gets a short chuckle out of Rachel; and honestly, his impression wasn't that bad. "We could try splitting up to cover more ground." I propose, right before Caryll corrects me, "Sir.". "_Sir_," I reply playing the same game. "_Does the Overlord consider the humble subordinate's offer to be appropriate?_" I add, teasing him. He laughs softly, "Yeah, the Overlord kinda likes that, LC". A sudden and awkward silence falls, as he doesn't give the order. He then looks at me, with an expression that gives off the fact that he's waiting for me. "You're the Overlord, Caryll. You call the shots."

"_Right_." He says. I understand only a few instants later that he was possibly giving me a chance to take back what I said on the shuttle, and let me take back command. But even if he really was, my intentions are still to have him lead. "Well, grab what you need, soldiers. We move in five." He says, imitating Corthias' voice once more.

* * *

We don't have many more hours of darkness. The city is completely lacking life in the streets, as we one would obviously assume; but the absence of Reaper troops is curious, and kind of concerning too. This city really is the skeleton in the closet of this heavenly-looking place, its hidden demon. It even looks nice from afar, but inside? It's like an enormous hunted graveyard. Thousands upon thousands have lost their lives here, and you know monsters could be behind the corner at every step of the way. Even with no life, no sounds, no movement, it's still enough to send shivers down my spine.

I have taken position on the balcony of a house that once belonged to a living, breathing person. And now it's just a vantage point for a reconnaissance. Things, places like this… they make it hard to believe there's still a future. The feelings that the atmosphere makes you experience… they're unfathomable. This wasteland, where black and numerous shades of gray, dimly lit by fires, are the only last thing left that resemble color. It's been an hour already and nothing has happened, which makes me even more afraid and paranoid.

A loud scream interrupts my thoughts. Not a powerful, screeching one; but one of fear. Unbearable fear. It's a sight so gruesome I'd have never imagined I'd be, deep down, at least a tiny bit glad to see. At least it's not completely deserted. A young kid, screaming while being dragged on the floor by a Marauder, with the one next to it carrying a dead woman onto its shoulders. The lifeless corpse has such similar traits to the kid, that I am rather certain it's his mother. I can tell she's been dead for days, and the kid was likely hiding from the Reapers; too afraid, too grief-stricken to leave his mother behind, even though she wasn't with him anymore. And now they found him to. I can't even begin to fathom what's going through his head. His scream seems like it's damning life itself, having him be born just to suffer so much; only to then be turned into the same kind of monster that killed her, with no memory of her. Things like these really do make you think that maybe evil does exist. If one were to be religious, this does not look too dissimilar from the apocalypse.

An image flash through my head. That kid, running free through the heavenly fields outside the city, playing happily with his mother. Another image comes, more painful. I see that kid, grown up, remembering his dead mom; looking at her picture. What does this mean? Am I meant to save that kid? Give him a second chance? I want nothing more than to jump down and rescue him. But what if it blew our cover? What if all this could help us find out where they're going? If they took him alive, they must be going somewhere. And now that I think of it, they're moving north. Towards Caryll's location.

"Caryll, you read me?". He replies shortly after, telling me that he may have found something. "Me too." I continue, "They're carrying two civilians towards your position.". There's a short silence, during which I hear him panting. He tells me he was busy climbing up to get a better view. "Fifty credits says they're going to the big ominous Reaper camp I see.".

"What camp?" Rachel jumps in over the radio. "Looks like a camp to me. Not really sure, though." Caryll replies, "Nothing's getting in or out as of right now.".

"I'll follow the patrol." I say, "I'll let you know when they're in your AO"

* * *

After about thirty minutes of following the group around, during which I decided to try my best at becoming numb to the kid's desperate cries, I begin to see the 'big ominous camp' Caryll mentioned. "Up on the balcony" I hear Caryll say over the radio. I start looking at all the balconies I can see until I see a blinking light coming from one of them. "It's a straight shot to the camp from here, and I got visual." He continues, "Stay low."

"We know where they're headed now. Should we do something?" he says. Like me, he's just started to see that gruesome sight. Like me, he wants to jump in and save him. "We should, yes. But they'll be all over us if we do. We can't save him.". I hear a sigh over the radio. He gave up on him way quicker than I did. I don't know if that classifies as numbness or sense of duty. Probably the latter.

"Alright, we know where they're doing whatever it is they're doing," Caryll says over the radio. "We don't have much time until sunrise. We're going back to the farm and bunkering in for the day.".

* * *

There's a small opening in the farm's wall, allowing one to see the landscape off in the distance, and giving me a panoramic view of the city. After what I saw tonight, I can't see it the same way again. It's a paradise that's been invaded by demons. As if hell itself decided to show up and take what doesn't belong to it by force.

"At least the view's nice." I hear Rachel say as she sits down beside me, putting her back against the other end of the breach in the wall. "Kinda reminds me of home.". She looks off into the distance, at New Thebes. "Where's that?" I ask.

"Terra Nova. My parents moved there while my mother was pregnant with me. They wanted a quiet place to raise me and my sister." She says, a smile appearing on her face. Her expression turns dreamy, as she dives into old memories; projections of moments one would want to live forever. "Was it?" I ask.

"Yeah, a true paradise. Until '76, of course.". I quickly go through memories and thoughts to recall what may have happened. The answer comes to me almost immediately, and I feel stupid for even having needed to look for it: The Blitz. I assume she lost someone when it happened. I don't want to ask; I know what it means to talk about such things. But she brings up the subject herself.

"My mother was on Earth to prepare our new house for our return there. Had we convinced my father to move away a year before, he wouldn't have been killed by the batarians." For some reason I expect her to tear up at those memories. Maybe a part of me believes she's too emotional. But she doesn't, and why would she. It's been ten years. I'd also resist tears if I spoke about my parents. "My sister took it the hardest. Dad was with the Alliance his whole life, and I guess she wanted to honor his legacy. She dropped her studies and joined the Marines a few weeks after we returned on Earth. I followed suit three years later. And here we are."

Silence follows her story. Contemplating, sympathy-bearing silence. As usual, she breaks it herself, "Wow, didn't think a view would make me slip back to that.". She chuckles, trying to wash away the feelings of sorrow that no doubt infest her deep down.

"I know that feeling.", I reply, "These days it seems like anything makes me slip back to... Old memories.". She looks at me, with the same sympathy I had for her a few moments ago. "You don't have to talk about it, Derek."

"No offense, but I really have no intention of doing so; I never told anyone what happened."

"Jonas?" she asks. "I told him how I feel about it, but he was there. I didn't need to tell him how things went. "Not even your girlfriend?" she asks again. Is she assuming I have a girlfriend? Or is she getting something wrong? "What?" I ask.

"Your girlfriend." She repeats, "Might I add, you might wanna win this war soon. Jodie's always around the corner. She's quite the pretty thing, surely you don't want him to steal her from you."

"Rachel, I honestly don't know what you're talking about.". She turns red, displaying on her face the same mixture of embarrassment and confusion I previously felt. "The one you said goodbye to at the docks..." I laugh. "You mean my sister?"

"Oh..." She says with a chuckle, trying to cleanse herself of the awkwardness she put on herself. "Is she available then?". I don't know if she's serious or just trying to joke and distract me from thinking of her as a fool. It's definitely the way I see her, but she's not doing a good job to prevent it anyway. "Nope." I reply. "Because… she's taken… or is she not into… you know.".

"Oh no, she's _into_. But she's not available.". She chuckles. "Oh well. Pity.".

"Were you seriously asking if you can get with my sister?". She laughs, "Nah, it's just fun to mess with you, Ezail."

"Right," I reply smirking.

"What about you, Derek." She says, after a short break of soft laughing. "Where do you come from.". I never really told anyone my 'sad story', apart from Jonas. It's not the something to bring me nightmares, so I guess it's alright for me to tell. I'll have to be careful not to slip too far away, towards… _Darker places_. "Well, once upon a time there was a small, kind-of-happy family in the suburbs of the big metropolis of Florence…" I begin to recount, keeping a fairytale-like, light-hearted tone. "It was a dirty, terrible place to raise a family, but the Ezails couldn't afford much more…"

"I always heard that it's a beautiful place." She jumps in.

"Not on street level, believe me."

"What metropolis is nice on street level?"

"Fair point. Now hush and stop interrupting me.". And, as predicted, she interrupts me as soon as I try to resume, "Funny. I'd have never guessed you were Italian."

"_Le apparenze ingannano_." I say chuckling. "Oh, come on. Don't do that." She replies, faking being annoyed. "Well then, don't interrupt me. Where was I?"

"The Ezails had already had a son – Nicholas." I resume, "He was all grown up and seeking a better life in the colonies…". My tone turns grimmer. "I'm gonna drop the fairytale bullshit if you don't mind. Nick died before I was born. It broke my parents, but they decided to try again, and here I am. My mother was always fragile mentally, and she never recovered from losing Nick. But my sister and I evidently brought her enough happiness and motivation to go on. As for my father… well, he did his best. Fast forward a few years, and our economic condition really showed its darker side. I was still of school age when I joined a criminal gang on the streets. They made me deal drugs, burglarize houses… All things a child wouldn't be a prime suspect of, in case someone decided to later investigate. And all that helped my mother ultimately reach the breaking point. I came home late every night. Often drunk, sometimes high… a few times accompanied by the police. I thought she was just doing classic parenting stuff when she cried and yelled at me for doing such things, but I never truly understood how concerning things were."

I immediately feel like a fool for thinking Rachel was going to cry while telling her story, as a tear rushes down my cheek; then a second one. "I still remember the night. I started to think that maybe, just maybe, I was giving my mother too hard a time. No drinks that night, and no coming home late. In hindsight, maybe I should've drunk myself to oblivion; so that I wouldn't remember the sight of her body lying on the ground, amidst a pool of her own blood. Witnesses said she had…". My own sobbing interrupts me, "Thrown herself off of the roof.".

Rachel looks down. She puts a hand on my shoulder, trying to show her sympathy to me. Usually I would turn it down, shove their hand away with my own and tell them I don't need their pity. But usually, I don't tell this story. Nor do I cry about it. And I'd be lying. As miserable as it sounds for me to get help from her, I need it. That sympathy fills me for enough warmth to help me go on with the story, "My father was hit really hard. He kept on saying that I didn't have anything to do with it. But I felt like it was my fault. And deep down I believe he felt that too. He tried his best to sustain us, but as I said, we weren't really making ends meet. One day, when I was fifteen, he came rushing through the door one night after work. He was ecstatic. He had been accepted for an interview for a job well-paying enough to give us a better life. We would've moved to the Citadel as soon as the first paychecks rolled in. He would work from home but had to go to the Citadel for the interview itself. He said he'd be back in two days.". I stop, but not due to sobbing this time. Rachel's presence is preventing that. "On the third day, a friend of his came to our house to tell us his transport had an accident, and that he didn't make it. And that was the last I ever heard of my father.".

Rachel moves right beside me. The hand she had put on my shoulder goes on the other one, forming a comforting embrace. "I wish I could tell you that it's over, but guess what…"

"It wasn't long until the landlord kicked me and my sister out of our home. We ended up in an orphanage. Life was rather tough there. The other kids would constantly harass us and make our lives a living hell simply for being the new kids. The ones working there didn't much care, they were there just to get paid. Only one of them was nice enough not to treat me like trash, and to help me when I got in trouble with the other kids. She also rekindled my passion for the piano. She said I was talented. '_This place is not where you belong, Derek._' She told me once, '_Maybe music will one day be your ticket out of here_.'…"

"But there was someone else there. Maybe the only good thing that came out of all that was meeting this person. He too was harassed by the kids, and he had been for a few years. One day, I was comforting my sister while she cried in a corner. He comes along and offers his help.". "Jonas?" Rachel jumps in. "Nice guess."

"At the time it seemed like nothing, but we became inseparable. One day I asked why he decided to help me. '_In the same dire situation, people survive best together_', his father once told him…"

"God… what was that about slipping away?" I say, letting out a chuckle that seems somewhat forced. The tears stopped flowing halfway through, and I make an effort to pull myself back together. "Sorry, Rachel. Story time's over. I can't go on any further." I say, hiding my troubles behind a smile and standing up.

I've already walked a few steps when I turn around towards her, still looking off into the distance. "Rachel?" I say. "Yeah?" She replies, smiling. "Thank you for listening.".

"Anytime, Derek."

* * *

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	12. XII - Iris

**Chapter XII – Iris – **

The sound of birds chirping engulfs me, as I guard the farm while Rachel and Caryll rest. It almost seems completely safe outside, which is exactly what encourages me to keep my guard up. I know what hides here, behind peace and sunlight; and the song of birds. The more tranquil the atmosphere, the more I expect trouble. The peace that seems to exist, the very thing that renewed my feelings of hope, has revealed to be nothing but a lie; a dreadful deception, keeping you from noticing the death, the suffering that lies behind it. Sending shivers down your spine once you learn the truth and see it from a different perspective. It's almost as if the birds themselves were indoctrinated to keep up this heavenly façade

If Elia were here, I know exactly what she'd say, _"Don't just focus on the bad, Derek."_. I can almost hear her. She wouldn't want me to let my mind slip in 'darker places'. On that note, I must admit that telling my whole sob story to Rachel was kind of helpful. Hard and sour, sure; but with a sweet aftertaste. Like cauterizing an open wound; it hurts like hell, but it's better in the long run. And I do regret not telling it for its entirety, and omitting some details intentionally, like the circumstances of Nick's death. But I don't blame myself; I'm already quite surprised that I was able to get that far before not being able to go further.

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear an indistinct crashing sound from a nearby room. "_Stay vigilant my ass, Derek,"_ I think, _"That's what happens when you immerse yourself in your thoughts."_. I quickly stand up and grab my gun and run as silently as I can to the living room, where Rachel and Caryll were sleeping. The brief and naive thought that maybe it was one of them to make that noise shatters when I see them both asleep. "Damn Reapers have no respect for my sleep schedule.?" Caryll says as he stands up and grabs his rifle. We turn towards the direction the noise came from and start to slowly make our way there. We reach the entrance to a small dark room at the end of the corridor on the side of the living room. Of course, the noise came from the storage room. That place gets barely any sunlight. Perfect for Reapers to organize a sneak attack. I must admit that I didn't think they were so smart.

I catch a brief glimpse of a humanoid feature storming past the door, with no sound of footsteps whatsoever. "Reaper stealth unit? Are they a thing?" Caryll says, apparently worried at the sight of the creature rushing past us, yet not holding back from sounding like he's a kid in a scavenger hunt. "Oh, this is going to be fun." He adds. Exactly as I thought he would.

I turn towards him with a look that immediately transmits a message telling him to shut it. A message that he reluctantly follows, even though he's the one in charge. A second noise comes out of the room, this time of a door softly closing. "Does that room have any backdoors?" I ask. "None that I have seen yesterday" Rachel tells me, "But it does have a lot of crates. Maybe our guest is hiding."

I instinctively turn towards Caryll, expecting some kind of grin. Which of course, is already on his face by the time I turn around. He tries to hide it, at the very least. "Caryll, this isn't a game of hide and seek," I tell him, trying to sound like less of an asshole as I can. "That's it. You've officially killed the mood." He says, sighing. I shake my head and enter the room, stopping myself right on the doorstep. I put my finger on the switch on my gun's flashlight, waiting for a few instants before I actually switch it on. My mind is already making up images of monsters jumping at me from the shadows, ripping me apart with blade-sharp teeth and claws. I expect one to appear in front of me, illuminated by the light, just moments before it leaps towards me. But nothing happens.

I only take a step once I've pointed the stream of light coming from under my gun's barrel on every square inch of the room: the right, the left, the front, and even the ceiling. Rachel's right: whatever entered this room is hiding in one of the crates. We split up and check what they contain, finding empty those we check; or full of farming products. We narrow down our search to a last few remaining crates in the rightmost corner of the room. We slowly approach until Caryll halts us, "Wait. Hear that?". From one of the crates, comes a faint sound of heavy, scared breathing. So barely perceptible that the sound of our footsteps alone is enough to cover it. I have no idea how Caryll picked it up.

"Hey!" he says out loud. "It's ok, we're with the Alliance.". The sudden stop of the crying sound confirms that there is someone in there, but they don't respond. "We're here to help you." I add, "You can come out, it's safe.". Still nothing. "Stay back." I whisper to Rachel and Caryll, "I'll open it.". I crouch down and slowly approach the crate, putting my hands on the cover. I feel a sharp pain just over my eye as soon as I've opened it, which makes me lose my balance and fall on my back. Whatever hit me, did so with some kind of blade. Rachel and Caryll decide not to open fire; to avoid hitting me, I suppose. I expect what attacked me to jump on top of me and deliver the killing blow. I can't see what it is, but I can make out its figure in the darkness of the room. I predict its movement and strike a blow at its face with my fist before rolling to the right and picking up my gun from the floor. The creature falls with a pained moan, something that sounds far too human; which stops me from firing my gun immediately, making me first examine my target with the light from the flashlight. The stream of light illuminates the figure of a young girl, crying in fear; with one hand on the ground and the other front of her face, covered in blood. "Please…" she begs.

* * *

Rachel fetches me and the girl some water to wash away the blood from each other's wounds. I'm no doctor but I'm pretty sure I broke her nose when I punched her. A rather stupid move, since I already suspected her being human before she jumped at me. Couldn't control the adrenaline rush, I guess. I instead got a cut just above my eyebrow. It's not deep, but I was just a step away from being blinded. I was lucky she's not very adept with a knife.

She's sitting on the lacerated sofa in the living room, and won't even look at me due to how guilty she feels. I don't blame her, and she shouldn't blame herself either, but I am curious why she still attacked me when we told her we were there to help. Fear, probably; but it still seems odd. Rachel kneels to treat her wound, while I use the water she gave me to treat mine. A tear rushes down the girl's cheek, scintillating the whole way down; going past her red eyes. The deep black and purplish outlines around her eyes accentuate their shine, still leftover from her tears from earlier. They also tell a pretty complete story about how much you risk by falling asleep in this place. "Hey, it's alright." Rachel tells her as she starts washing the blood away from below her nose, "You're safe with us. What's your name?"

"Iris." She says, in a soft and broken voice. "I'm Rachel. Nice to meet you.". She stands up after concluding her effort in wiping the blood away, "I'll go get some clean cloth. I'll be right back, Iris.". She nods as Rachel walks away. She passes in front of me, telling me she'll get some medigel for me. I tell her I'll pass, since it's just a flesh wound, and I'd prefer us to have more for an actual emergency. She tries to convince me, but forfeits after the first few attempts, knowing she won't be able to do so. "You win. I'll get the bandages."

I turn towards Iris just a few moments, who looks away from me as soon as our eyes meet; choosing the dull view of the wall instead of me, fearing that I blame her for my wound. While she's busy pretending to look at something that doesn't exist, I examine the details of her face. Bruises, cuts, eye bags cover it; but there's still enough evidence leftover to assume that under the damage, she's a beautiful girl. I assume her age to be around fifteen or sixteen, as her expression slightly reminds me of Elia's at that age, when I first joined the Alliance. Sorrow, grief, and desolation; yet deep down, crushed by walls of darkness, hope still lives, waiting for the day to be brought back. Had we not found her, that day might have never come; and there's still no guarantee it will. And frankly, it's strange how much she reminds me of my sister, since they look almost nothing alike: the hazel color of her hair, the freckles gently spread on her cheeks, the small scar on her upper lip… The only similarity in appearance I can find is the green color of the eyes, albeit in a rather different shade – Iris' being far lighter than Elia's and mine.

"Iris." I hear Caryll call, "I'm not blaming you for anything, but I want to know why you attacked us after we told you we were with the Alliance.". She sighs, "I…" She begins, with her voice still broken, "I thought you were some of those monsters.". Caryll chuckles a bit awkwardly, expressing his confusion. "Well I… I know my voice isn't the one of angels, but I didn't think I'd be mistaken for one of them…" he jokes, trying to lift Iris' spirits a little. "Yeah, that's… that's why I defended myself…". Rachel, who heard a part of the conversation before coming back into the room, joins in, "Wait, you mean they sound like us?"

"Some of them, yes." Iris continues, "They trick you, '_We're with the Alliance. You're safe now. We'll take you somewhere safe_'… Then you come out of hiding and find yourself at the mercy of those beasts. I've seen so many people fall for that. I only know to resist because I saw someone else came out of hiding before I did the first time it happened to me. They took him and left. Some kind of… dog… jumped on him, killed him with its claws and another one of them carried the body away."

"I understand… This is bad." Rachel says. "There are no reports of… 'dogs', or Reapers imitating someone else's voice.".

"Nor have we ever met any…", adds Caryll. A thought suddenly rushes through my mind. My glance turns down, losing any focus in real images and muffling the voices of Rachel and Caryll who still try to find an answer; instead focusing on the ones my brain is assembling: the Reaper camp, the bodies being carried there… the fact that here hide some firstly unknown monsters…

"They're experimenting," I say. My two teammates suddenly interrupt their chatter and look at me, both confused. "They're taking corpses and bodies to that camp. We know what they do with corpses, and some of the creatures here have never been seen anywhere else. They're still '_in development'."._

They look down to the ground, processing the information. Caryll looks at me and speaks, "Do you have something on your mind?". I make a gesture with my hand, telling him to wait and let me think. I mumble something under my breath before speaking, "We need to get back into the city. We need to check."

"Wait, right now? Didn't we agree to only go during the night?" Caryll says. "What's the difference," I say, "They're everywhere; night or day.".

"I don't know if it's safe, Derek," Rachel says, "What if they catch you?"

"If they catch me I'm dead. It's not like having the moon in the sky is going to change things."

"He's right." Iris joins in; still looking at the ground, "They patrol every corner, can spot you effortlessly. Night or day". She looks me straight in the eyes, "Going during the night is only going to limit your visibility."

Rachel shakes her head and sighs, "I'm coming with you.". I suspect it'll take quite the argument to convince her otherwise, but here goes, "Look, I know where I'm going and what I'm looking for. If you were to come along, you'd be putting your life at risk for no reason."

"No reason?" She says; slightly raising her voice, "You could be killed, and I could help. That's the reason."

"Or you could get killed too." I reply, "What's this? Suddenly you're concerned about my survival?"

"Suddenly?" She says, almost shouting. She stops for a second, breathes in, then backtracks a little. "Look, you're not in charge here, you said it yourself. Desmond?"

"It's better if he goes alone, Rachel," Caryll says, looking at the floor. "What?" she says, in a slightly aggressive tone. "He's right, Rachel. If they find you, there's nothing you can do. Even if you survive, they'll just follow you here and prepare to strike."

"One casualty is better than two, Rachel. As cold as it sounds."

She shakes her head and walks away. "Whatever." She says, before stopping on her tracks and turning around, "You better get back here alive.". She turns again and walks to another room.


	13. XIII - Just One More Night

**Chapter XIII - Just One More Night**

The light of day makes the view of the Reaper camp in front of me look less threatening and grim than how it did tonight. The fact that we have a pretty strong guess as to what the Reapers are doing here gives me hope that we'll be returning to the Verdun soon, which maybe helps alleviate the impact of such a sight even further. Still, it's hard not to feel something for the people here; captured and dragged hopelessly to a fate arguably worse than death. Again, if I were to look on the bright side, I'd say that it's good that the Reaper troops look like monsters, and nothing like who they were before: at least the realization that you're killing someone who might've been your friend doesn't come when you're pulling the trigger, only after. When you've already accepted that you couldn't have done anything else.

But every day it becomes harder to look on that bright side. I usually think of Elia when I do, convincing myself that I'm doing it for her. It motivates me enough to be able to do it. But for the first time in my life, that kind of motivation is starting to fail.

For better or worse, I already gathered some evidence to support my claims. In my hands is a datapad showing all the information on Reaper ground troops the Alliance has. And as I predicted, the few monstrosities that I happened to catch a glimpse of are all absent from Alliance databases; except for a few ones that I know I've fought before. As of right now, I have only written down the appearance of a quadruped creature, one with a blade instead of an arm and what looked like a heavily armored version of a Marauder; all in addition to the non-physical description of one able to mock the voice of a human, given to me by Iris.

Everything checks out. The Reapers were trying their best to maintain secrecy on what they were trying to do here, which makes sense if they were trying to develop new creatures. At this point, we might as well break radio contact with the Verdun to have them extract us, since we accomplished the mission already.

* * *

"Copy that, LC" says the voice over the comms, "Sending you the coordinates for pickup. We'll be there at zero four-hundred tomorrow. Over and out."

"They raced the hell out of here as soon as we got here." Says Caryll in response to the news of such a late extraction, "Can't say I blame them. It is a pretty dangerous region right now."

"Well it's just one more night here." I say, "It's not that bad."

"Last night in Anhur… we should throw a party." Caryll jokes, "Know anyone to invite?"

"Yeah, I know a hot Banshee who just became single." Rachel continues, "Interested?"

"Meh, I've been with worse while drunk." He replies. "That turian lady on the Citadel is still the achievement I'm most _and_ least proud of."

"Gross," Iris says, walking in the room and joining the conversation.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to wake up." Caryll replies, "Well, it's good you rested. You'll need the energy for tonight's party.".

"Tonight's what?".

"Alliance party, but you're invited too, of course.".

"Don't mind him, Iris." I say, "He's just like that.". She chuckles softly, "How's the eye, Derek?".

"Just a scratch, don't worry." I reply, "How's the nose?"

"It'll pass. No hard feelings, I almost cut your eye off," She says, chuckling again; slightly embarrassed.

The brief silence after that is, as always, broken by Caryll. "I think I'll have to pass on that Banshee offer, Rachel." He says, before continuing in a playfully snobbish voice, "They only look at Brutes, nice guys like me don't even get a chance."

He stops after getting a brief and subtle laugh out of us. "Alright, I think the four of us are enough. What about the drinks?".

"Think I saw some beers in one of the cabinets," I say playfully, though not lying. Caryll chuckles dismissively and shakes his head, then looks straight at me, "Really?"

* * *

Caryll opens one of the bottles and hands it to me. I thank him with a gesture of the head. "Remember Caryll," I say, "Only one beer. You wouldn't want Corthias to catch you hungover.".

"Yeah, yeah." He says as he opens another one and hands it to Rachel. "Iris." He calls. She turns towards him, confused. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen. And legal drinking age is eighteen here if you're interested."

"Meh, close enough." He says as he hands her the third beer, grabbing another one for himself. "Hey Rachel." He says, "Would it be possible to use biotics to open one of these?"

"Sure, if you like the idea of licking beer and glass shards off the floor." She answers.

"A simple no would've sufficed." He says as he opens his bottle the old fashioned way. "So," he continues, extending the arm holding the beer, "Here's to a job well done.". We all imitate his movement and smile, "Cheers" we say.

* * *

The heat of the fire warms my previously frozen hands, causing unbearable itchiness; and yet a sense of relief. It gets cold here during the night. So damn cold. I stand up, grab a ration from the bag near the fire, and head out of the ruined building. We're lucky to have found this farm here: near the outskirts but still out of the city. Far enough so that the Reapers won't find us. The walls also help us hide the light made by the fire. You can notice it if you're close enough, but we haven't seen Reaper scouts here for the entire duration of our stay. The only time we got scared is when Iris snuck in. And, if you're really good at only seeing the bright side of things, you can also enjoy the view. Being on the lookout is surprisingly a rather tranquil job. I had to argue with the others a bit, since I kept watch while they slept earlier, went scouting and I'm keeping watch right now. They were concerned about the fact that I haven't slept in almost two days. Truth is, between flashbacks of Matol and nightmares about Elia, I'd rather stay awake. I take a look at the living room, where Desmond, Rachel, and Iris are asleep. I sit back down by the fire and finish my ration. Suddenly a thought comes to mind, almost if my brain wanted to tell me something… it tells me that all this is familiar. But where have I seen it before? It's not the first time I've experienced a feeling of déjà vu, but it seems different. It's like I was here before, not that I just imagined it. I start feeling shivers, both from the cold and from a little bit of fear that I'm experiencing; as I frantically search my memories for answers.

Then it hits me: the farm, the campfire, my teammates sleeping, the view of the city in ruins… they were all elements of the nightmare I had before leaving for this mission. I begin shaking uncontrollably, looking frantically at every dark part of the house, picturing shadows observing me. And I begin to think that a few seconds from now, I'll start hearing Elia's whispers. Then I remember Elia's fate in that nightmare: being mauled to death from a monster… the same kind quadruped monster I observed from a distance earlier. Part of me wants to go in that room, to maybe save Elia from being killed from those monsters. The other part of me knows that Elia isn't here. And while I'm struggling to decide whether to act on my thoughts or not, as I sit scared shitless with my back against the wall, a whisper calling for my name echoes in the room. I stand up and grab my gun, standing in silence while I look around me, waiting for another whisper. "Derek, over here.". This time, the whisper is loud enough for me to identify where it came from. I turn in that direction and see Rachel awake, looking at me, "You alright?".

"Yeah. Just a little bit creeped out, that's all." I say, silently drawing an enormous sigh of relief. "I can tell. You jumped up and armed yourself immediately when you heard me." She says, chuckling. I let out a nervous, slightly awkward laugh. I'm not amused by the joke, but I want to shake off all this tension. I was calmed by the fact that those whispers were Rachel's, but I'm still very much on edge thinking about how this is the same place I was in during my nightmare. "Did I wake you up?" I ask her. A slight, yet still nervous chuckle precedes her answer, "No, no. I just… woke up.". She laughs softly, trying not to wake up Caryll. "Sorry about scaring you." She apologizes. I shake my head and tell her not to worry about it. She checks the time on her omnitool, getting out of her sleeping bag after she does so. She walks towards me, grabs one of her MREs from the bag, and sits next to me.

"Two hours until the shuttle comes to pick us up." She says. I check my omnitool, slightly in disbelief at how quickly time passed while I was keeping watch. "Might as well keep you company.". "I'd like that" I say.

"So," she says, looking at me, "You're a pianist, aren't you.". I chuckle and nod. "That's nice. You owe me a concert.". She says, chuckling. "Alright." I say, "You play too?"

"I used to play the guitar. But mostly I used to sing. My friends and I used to dream of forming a band back on Terra Nova." She says, smiling.

"Yeah. I know a little bit about that.". She looks at me, curious. "I was going to be a pianist, you know? Came really close to it."

"And how'd you end up here?" she asks, "Didn't make it?". I already see myself once again storytelling about my life. "I did, actually. Everything was going as planned, but…" "But?"

"But some street thugs decided it was the perfect day to jump my sister and try to score a little bit of easy cash. Of all the people passing by, they chose her. I was nearby, though not exactly with her when it happened. And when I got there…".

The sound of glass shattering in one of the closer rooms interrupts me, immediately putting both of us on high alert. Without saying a word, Rachel and I stand up and slowly start making our way in that direction, weapons in hand. The noise also wakes Caryll and Iris up, the former of which grabs his weapon and follows us, after telling Iris to stay back. Silence is the worst sound we could hear right now. It creates tension. And one's ability to resist it only dictates how much pressure they can take, and for how long. Ultimately though, the pressure is what can kill you in these scenarios. If you can't handle it, you get scared. You get scared, you get sloppy. You get sloppy, you die. And I can tell the situation is bad, seeing as how the suspense is enough to keep Caryll's mouth shut; which is possibly a blessing in disguise. Step by step we exit the living room into one of the corridors, trying to make as little noise as possible. If there really were Reapers in the building, I'd prefer it if they just started screaming. At least I'd have my doubts confirmed, and I could appropriately prepare for what I'm going up against.

There are fairy tales that talk about genies, of mysterious creatures that grant you wishes. Like all myths, there are versions of them. And some of them have it that the genie will grant you your wishes, but will exploit any possible loophole in your words to screw you over. Well, there must be a genie in this house. And should've chosen my words more carefully when I wished for the screaming to start. Because yes, it was granted. Some screams started coming from the room we were going to. If the genie could talk to me, I imagine he would say something along the lines of "_Isn't this what you wanted? Why the long face?_", all while he watches my world starting to crumble. My mind drifting away from reality and into a dark, bottomless pit. My face expressing the worst mixture of dread and confusion you could think of. Yeah, he would definitely laugh his ass off watching me react to Elia screaming my name in fear.


	14. XIV - An Unknown Enemy

**Chapter XIV - An Unknown Enemy -**

My mind drifts off to distant memories. Elia's head bent down. Her face firmly against my chest, so many tears rushing down of it. Using every single bit of strength she has to hold me. I can't even begin to imagine what was going on in her head at that moment; but I do remember what was going through mine. The hopeless wish to be out of there. To escape all of that. To stop hearing the pained cries of the four people I had almost murdered, as they crawled around helplessly on the ground; their broken bones causing sharp fits of pain at every movement. I wished to forget the numerous weapons pointed at me. The sounds of the sirens. The officer's scared voice asking me to surrender, terrified by the thought of ending up like those already on the ground.

I remember the pain of breaking free of Elia's embrace and surrendering myself to the police. I remember how afraid they were as I walked towards them, my biotics making me a monster from their point of view. I could read the desire in the eyes, the desire of putting me down like a dog right there and then. And I remember the feeling of impending doom with every step, afraid that the pressure would make one of them too trigger-happy to stop caring about any possible consequence and kill me, like I know they wanted to.

That's how I'm feeling now. Terrified at the thought that every single instant might seal Elia's doom, assuming what I'm hearing is actually happening. Never in my life has my mind been so clouded. Never in my life have I felt completely disconnected from reality. Never in my life have I felt so vulnerable, as I frantically and desperately run towards the screams. So hopelessly lost in the mazes my own mind has built, each unanswered question as a brick in the walls. Is this real? Am I dreaming? How did she get here?

Is this really how she dies?

A short, insignificant hallway separates me from the room from which the screams are coming from. Any rational person would stop and check if it's safe before entering. But I'm not thinking rationally at the moment, am I? A large, dark figure leaps towards me from a corner of the room, screeching and slashing at me with its blade-sharp claws, missing my face by barely a few inches, but knocking me to the ground with its mass. Elia is still screaming, although it feels like it's in the background right about now. Instinctively, I put up a small biotic barrier between me and the thing that attacked me, holding it just long enough for the group to catch up to me and help me. And with just a short burst of gunfire, the creature stops fighting back; it drops dead on the floor as I push it away. I get up screaming Elia's name in fear, just as she is screaming mine. But she is not in the room when I look around. Apart from my teammates, the only 'living' creature in the room is what looks like a hanar, with a dark grey skin tone opposed to its species' natural pink. Its 'head' glowing, like that of natural hanar. It's floating in place in the corner of the room, with no hostile action towards us. I form a lance in my right hand and throw it at the monstrosity, who falls on the ground after the lance goes through its body. The glowing stops. And so does the screaming.

I fall to my knees. "This…" I say, barely able to speak, "You could hear it too, right?". Rachel kneels down in front of me, "The one calling your name?". I nod, shaking; my eyes fixed on the floor. "That voice…"

"Derek, look at me." She says, turning my head towards her with her hand, then putting it on my shoulder, "Whoever that was, it's not her. It's going to be alright."

* * *

The shock from what happened has worn off a bit in the past two hours. We had to abandon the farm since the Reapers traced us to that location when we contacted the Verdun. We knew they were going to had we decided to transmit the data, being it a lengthy process. Yet, they managed to locate us just thanks to those few seconds of radio contact. In any case – now that our cover is blown anyway – we left a datapad at the farm, setting it to transfer a copy of the data to the Verdun. If they trace it, they can only deactivate it. And it won't lead them to us. And if we don't make it, at least they will receive some of the data.

We've been roaming the hilly area surrounding the rendezvous point with the shuttle, always on the move to avoid being caught by surprise. Problem is, they have patrols almost everywhere, and one is extremely close to the rendezvous point, in the valley between the hill we're on. Once the shuttle comes – which should be any minute now- they'll call for backup. We either extract fast or things could get ugly.

Waiting this long has had its perks, however. We've had time to come up with a plan. Not too solid, but it should do. As soon as we notice the shuttle coming, we engage and take them out quickly, hopefully buying ourselves enough time to board the shuttle and leave. Of course, it's all better said than done – We don't know how much it will take for the other hostiles in the area to reach our positions once they hear gunshots go off, and we have a feeling it won't be long. Also, we can't fight them head-on, since Iris is with us. Caryll gave her his sidearm, but none of us is expecting her to use it. Her 'orders' are to keep her head down and move only when it's safe.

We lie down on the grass on top of the small hilltop that is the rendezvous point; Caryll grabs the second rifle he carries on his back, along with his modified Avenger: a Mattock. At least, that's what it was before: the barrel, the scope, and – from what he tells me – the firing mechanism have all been reworked to transform it into a lightweight sniper rifle. He deploys the weapon's bipod on the ground. While he observes the Reaper patrol through the scope, I ask him who applied the modifications. "I did it myself. Managing the armory means I have access to all I need to tinker with mods. It's a hobby of mine" is his answer. I chuckle, "You and Jonas are going to get along.".

"Yeah, I saw the guy at work." He says, "It seems we share hobbies. I wonder what monstrosities we could come up with together.". He takes his eyes away from the scope and looks at me. "That gun of yours," he says, "That his handiwork?". I grab the gun and put it on the ground between us for him to see. "Long story." I say, "Might tell you over drinks. But yeah, he did tweak it quite a bit."

"Shouldn't you be watching the enemy, Desmond?" Rachel says. "Yeah, yeah." He replies, "Looks like we got three Marauders and six Mongrels. Should be easy."

"Mongrels?" I ask, confused. "Yeah, the weird dogs. Same as the one in the farm." He says, "I was getting bored the past few hours, so I came up with a proper name.".

"_Weird dogs_, huh? You must've never seen a dog to compare those things to one." Rachel teases him. "What?" Caryll replies, "They walk on four legs."

"Except they look more like batarians."

"Shut it."

"Any ideas on how to take them out, Caryll" I ask him. "Well, I can deal with the Marauders from here." He replies, "Mongrels shouldn't be a problem – I'm sure we can deal with them before they climb the hill."

"Works for me," I reply.

* * *

As soon as the shuttle is visible in the sky, we contact the pilot and make ourselves visible on the hilltop; while Caryll lays down fire against the enemies. Three shots are fired; three Marauders fall dead on the ground. It's after Caryll takes the first few shots at the Mongrels that we realize their speed has been underestimated. By the time they've gotten halfway to our position, he's only managed to hit one of them once in the leg, merely slowing it down.

"Bloody hell, those things are fast!" Caryll shouts, putting his rifle on his back and grabbing the other, "New plan – spray and pray.". Two Mongrels die in the hailstorm of automatic fire dispensed by Caryll's rifle, all while he complains about 'not having packed a Revenant for the trip'.

"Desmond!" Rachel shouts, "More coming – nine o'clock.". I look to my left and see another pack of Mongrels coming towards us, about a dozen of them. A quick look around reveals other packs from our six and three o'clock. We're surrounded. The noise of the shuttle's engines getting closer and closer is like a melody full of hope. Before we can even notice, it hovers a few inches from the ground. Caryll orders Rachel and Iris to go in first, while the two of us fend off the other Mongrels to buy them enough time to board the shuttle. "Last clip! Might want to get moving!" Caryll shouts out loud while loading the thermal clip into the rifle. I tell him to get on the Kodiak while I cover him. Reluctantly, he agrees, and starts running towards it; being interrupted a few steps from the shuttle by a shot coming from his right, almost like one of a sniper rifle. I rush to him and create a small, dome-shaped barrier to protect both of us from more incoming fire.

He's on the ground, bleeding rather profusely from his right hip; still conscious, though. In the direction the shot came from is a nimble creature, with some sort of organic-looking rifle in its hands and horn-like protuberances on its head, like those of a salarian. I have a feeling that's the Reaper that shot Caryll. It fires a few times at my barrier, in vain. However, holding the barrier means I cannot fire back at the Mongrels coming our way. Rachel and Iris provide what little fire support they can; even Caryll empties his last clip while lying on the ground, bloody. I expand the barrier to cover the shuttle as well, and tell Rachel to pick Caryll up and bring him onto the shuttle. When I get on board, I biotically pull a dead Mongrel towards me. We could use a specimen. The pilot takes off just instants before another Mongrel was about to jump in.

I dissolve the barrier and frantically remove Caryll's armor to tend to the wound. "Ah! Watch it, you dickhead." He grunts out in pain when I examine the wound. He turns his eyes towards Iris, who is close to tearing up in shock. "Right, sorry." He adds, "No swearing in front of the child.". The shot seems to have pierced the cuirass and under armor, hitting his hip. Blood keeps spurting out of the wound, but it doesn't look like the bullet got out; his kinetic barriers took the brunt of it and were able to slow the bullet down just enough for him to survive the hit. Still, he's not going to make it without proper medical care; the best we can do now is just apply medigel to the wound and hope for the best. The depth, and overall gravity of the wound – and the fact that it shouldn't take long before he gets treated properly on the ship – give me a positive outlook on his chances of survival. I keep tending to him, while Rachel does her best to calm Iris down.

* * *

The doors on the side of the shuttle open, revealing the sight of three medics frantically pushing a stretcher all the way to the shuttle. Rachel and I put Caryll on the stretcher. "Aaand you didn't lift me with your biotics. Great." He says, laughing under his breath, "Now I'll die without ever having experienced it. Thanks for ruining it.".

"I really hope he dies," Rachel says sarcastically, making sure that he's close to hear it. Iris steps out of the shuttle and into the docking bay, glancing around this environment which she has never seen before.

We're walking towards the elevator when its doors open, revealing Captain Reed. He looks at Iris, confused. "We rescued her during the mission, sir," I say after saluting, before he asks me who she is. "It's fine. We're on our way to the Citadel anyway. We'll drop her off there." he says.

I nod. "Sergeant Dani, if you'll excuse us I need to discuss an important matter with the lieutenant-commander." He says, gazing at my eyes without ever glancing away. He invites me to join him in the elevator. "Take care of our guest, sergeant." He says just before the doors slide closed.

"Out of curiosity, Ezail… why did you relay the intel to us?" He asks me once we're alone, "The orders were not to give yourselves away.".

"The Reapers located us a few hours after we called for extraction." I reply, "It's likely they detected the communications going out and started patrolling the area. We decided to leave a datapad behind to upload the intel. It served as a way to give the enemy a fake target. Also, we wanted to make sure some of the data got to you in case we wouldn't make it."

"Hmm." He mutters, "Well, we forwarded what you found to Admiral Hackett. He wants to speak to the person in command of the expedition.". I nod, even though I put Caryll in charge of the mission. Still, I bet Hackett would find the words of an N7 and Star of Terra more reliable over those of a regular soldier.

* * *

The captain tells me to enter the communications room, while he looks for Commander Corthias. After a few seconds, the terminal beeps three times before displaying the hologram of a woman. "Well, well." She says, "Look who it is. Black and red suits you nicely, LC".

"Oh, you mean the N7 rank whose commendation ceremony you skipped, commander?" I reply, jokingly.

"Yeah, sorry. I was too busy being dead." She replies, chuckling, "At least I was there for your Star of Terra. What's with the cut on your forehead?". I put my hand over my right eyebrow and realize she's talking about the one Iris inflicted. "What kind of terrifying creature did that to you." She scoffs. "The worst creature of all – a seventeen-year-old girl with a kitchen knife." She chuckles, trying her best not to laugh out loud, "You've got to be joking. You go on a mission deep into Reaper territory and get injured by a _seventeen-year-old girl with a kitchen knife_?". I shrug in response, and she shakes her head when I do.

"Someday all the trouble you get yourself into will get you killed, Ezail." She teases.

"Well, _I_ haven't been killed yet.".

"Well played." She says, laughing. Another hologram appears: Admiral Anderson's. He greets both of us and we salute back. "Good to see you again, Ezail." He says.

"Likewise, Admiral. It's been a while.". Admiral Hackett's hologram joins us a few seconds later, followed by Captain Reed and Commander Corthias entering the room. "I see everyone is already here." Says the captain, "Shall we begin?"

"Lieutenant-Commander Ezail," Hackett says, "What more can you tell us about the data you recovered?"

"What you received was only a few images and brief analysis based on a first look." I begin speaking, "We managed to recover better intel afterward, including a corpse for analysis."

I tap briefly on my omnitool and show them some images of a Mongrel. "This is the kind of creature whose specimen we took with us. A man on my team has nicknamed them 'Mongrels'. From a first look of its appearance, I would say that it used to be a batarian. Not much else needs to be said, apart from the fact that they're incredibly fast."

I use my omnitool again to forward the images to Hackett, before hiding them from sight. "During our escape one of my teammates was injured by some kind of sniper. I have no images of this creature but it looked as if it used to be a salarian. Its rifle looked like it was made from organic materials, similar to those in Commander Shepard's reports on the Collectors."

"Last, but definitely not least…" I say, before bringing up a single image, representing the remains of the creature imitating Elia's voice. "It appears these creatures have the ability to mimic a human's voice, and possibly the ones of other aliens.". I stop for a moment and sigh, "When it tried to trick me, it used my sister's voice. What worries me is how it knew what it sounded like.".

Admiral Hackett nods. "Very well. Thank you, lieutenant-commander." He says, "Captain Reed, I wish to speak with you in private later. Hackett out."

In a few instants Anderson's and Shepard's holograms disappear. I'm about to walk out of the room when the captain calls my name. "Thank you, commander." He tells Corthias, but once again looking me straight in the eye, "You may leave. I need to speak to Ezail about that_ thing_.".

The commander sighs and shakes his head, while looking down. He reluctantly follows the order and leaves. And I start to have a feeling of what this is all about: Karium. "What is it you wanted to tell me, captain?"

"You're no longer part of this team, Ezail. I want you off the ship once we get to the Citadel."


	15. XV - Cast Out

**Chapter XV - Cast Out**

A few brief images from that moment flash through my head. The most noteworthy of these memories is Karium recoiling in fear, my lance dashing towards her, ultimately smashing to pieces against a biotic barrier promptly put up by Rachel and T'Scoris.

"You nearly killed her, Ezail." The captain says angrily, yet in a somewhat calm tone of voice, "I can't risk another incident like this.". The only 'argument' in my defense that I can think of is the fact that Karium is still alive, even though I'm not the one to be thanked for that. "You'll take your things once we dock at the Citadel, and you'll take our guest with you. She can't stay on the ship.".

And with those few brief words, my journey with the CROSS Group has already come to its abrupt end. It would be easier to just blame it all on Karium, but it's not going to change anything anyway. I know that, as usual, I'm the one who screwed up.

I do, however, still wonder if Karium too received disciplinary action. She wasn't the one about to kill the other, so surely they won't throw her off the ship. But I doubt that Corthias' pet got off with more than a scolding.

I make my way towards the elevator, intent on checking up on Caryll in the med-bay. It's likely the doctors are not done operating on him yet, but I wish to know their first assessment of his health, at the very least.

As the elevator doors slide open, I see Rachel sitting on one of the chairs in the mess hall; her head bent forward, resting on her arms. From this distance, it's hard to tell if she's sleeping or crying. I assume it's the former, as Caryll's wound didn't look bad enough for her to be mourning him already. Other than that, she has no other reason to be crying, as far as I know. The med-bay has its door locked, and its windows obscured; therefore, I assume they're still in the middle of the operation. I approach Rachel at the table. The sound from my footsteps is apparently enough to wake her up. She lifts her head up and looks at me; her eyes still sleepy. "Hey, Derek," she mutters.

"Sleeping in the mess hall?" I tease her, with a little bit of a grin on my face. "Yeah. I let Iris sleep in my bunk, she's exhausted," she says, putting her head back onto her arms. I sit down on the chair beside her, "So are you, it would seem.".

"It was a tough night down there," she answers, "Honestly, I'm surprised you aren't.". She straightens her back and turns her glance towards me. "And why's that?" I ask.

"You haven't slept since we got on Anhur, Derek," she says, "You ought to get some shut-eye.".

"I'm good, thanks," I say, attempting to dodge the subject, "How's Caryll?". She looks at me, displeased. "No word from the doctors so far," she says, before once again asking me to get some sleep. "Really, Rachel," I say, trying to change the subject, "I'm fine."

"You can't sleep, can you?" she says, in somewhat of a sympathetic tone. I guess my attempts at evading the topic have made that obvious. "Is it because of..."

"Matol?" I interrupt her. She nods, with an apologetic look in her eyes. "It's not that.". I recall the images from my dream and compare them to those that I saw on Anhur. Still astonished at how dream and reality could be so similar. A sense of dread and helplessness creeps its way into my mind. "And I never thought I'd say this," I resume speaking, "But part of me wishes it was.".

"Alright," she says, "You've made your point, Derek. But you can't just deprive yourself of sleep.".

"Well," I say, "We're headed for the Citadel. I'll rest while on shore leave, I guess.". She smiles at me, "That's better. We'll need you rested for our next mission. It sounds like it'll be a tough one.".

She's able to read the confusion on my expression when I look at her. "You weren't told?" she says, "We're supposed to go to Tuchanka next.".

"No, I wasn't told," I reply, "Maybe they were going to inform me later.". It's a lie. I'm fully aware of the reason why I wasn't notified about it. Captain Reed must've already spread the news about the new assignment to the rest of the crew, one of whom likely told Rachel. And nobody else told me, not even the captain; it's more than probable that I wasn't supposed to know.

"Why exactly are we going to Tuchanka?" I ask. She shrugs in response, before making a few attempts at guessing said motivation, "Well, if we were to believe the rumors, a lot appears to be happening in that region. Some say that an effort is being made to cure the genophage.".

"So, we're bringing in the krogan?" I assume, seeing it as the only reason why someone would stand up and look for a cure, "We must be desperate.".

"Maybe," Rachel says, "But we'd be morons to face an enemy like this without them on our side.". I suppose she's right.

"Let me know if anything comes up with Caryll," I say before leaving to go find Jonas.

* * *

"Hey, Derek," Jonas greets me when we see each other in our quarters. "I understand things got exciting down there.". I nod, "Yeah, maybe a little bit too much.". He chuckles, "Sorry I missed it; how's Caryll?".

"No word yet," I reply, shrugging, "But I've seen people survive worse wounds. He should pull through.". He nods, clearly relieved at the news.

"So," I continue, changing the subject, "I hear it's Tuchanka next.". My words appear to have thrown him off balance, which makes way for a small feeling of suspicion to get in my head. Feeling which is confirmed when he tries to drive the topic of the conversation back to Caryll, and to how relieved he is that he appears to be alright. He's usually not one to try and dodge subjects like this; it's my thing honestly, not that I'm any good at it.

He gets no response at his attempt to evade my question. When I try to push the subject again, I receive a half-stuttered, affirmative answer from him. "I see someone's already told you," he says, letting out a nervous, muffled chuckle. I have a feeling that he's trying to get me to tell him who it was. I just nod in response, as I fear that telling him might be in some way detrimental to Rachel. Once again, I confirm my suspicions soon after when he, laughing nervously, asks me just that. "I overheard someone from the crew talking about it. Can't remember who," I lie.

"Oh well," he says, hiding behind another fake chuckle. "Reed's told you, hasn't he?" I ask him, even though I already know the answer to the question. He looks down and sighs. "I mean," I continue, "He's already told the whole crew, right?".

"I'm sorry, Derek," he says, "I didn't know if you already knew.". I shake my head in disapproval, but forgive him anyway, "Well, at least he had the decency to tell me right away.".

A few moments of silence pass. "I'm gonna go check on Caryll. Maybe the doctors have some news by now," I say, before walking towards the elevator.

* * *

**(tl;dr at the end)**

**Hello,**

**I apologize for such an incredibly short and (almost completely) insignificant chapter after such a long absence (over a month, yikes). This chapter has been in the works this whole time, and this is the best I could come up with.**

**No, I didn't write myself in a corner by kicking Derek off the team. The reason this took so long was due to the hellish month I've had. Nothing serious, but I was bombarded from every direction with important stuff to do, and finding time to write was rather challenging. Even when I did, I was often exhausted and could barely come up with any interesting ways to move the plot forward. And I preferred posting a half-sized chapter with little significance to the plot rather than letting the hiatus last even longer. Yes, I know, it's better to wait longer and have a better product than to rush, but it's only one chapter, which wouldn't have had much happening in it even if it was full-sized.**

**In any case, chapters _should_ start getting posted more frequently and regularly, and at full length (here's hoping I don't get surprised by another shitstorm of work to do).**

**Thank you for coming to my TED talk, and see you (hopefully soon) in Chapter 16,**

**EalL**

**TL;DR: Didn't have time to write a better and longer chapter. After a month-long hiatus, I decided to publish this poor excuse of a chapter as not to leave you with nothing. New chapters should come faster than before (hopefully).**


	16. XVI - Taria's Favor

**Chapter XVI - Taria's Favor**

Once the decontamination protocol has run its course, and the airlock has opened, four men calmly start carrying the stretcher Caryll is on towards the nearest hospital. His conditions are stable enough that there is no need to hurry. The fact that he is conscious is also a good sign; however, I do feel sorry for the poor souls who will have to endure his chatter the whole way.

"Well, see you in a bit, Derek," he says as the people carrying him take a different turn in one of the Citadel's alleyways. His words hit a little too close to home, as this is the last time I'll ever walk through the SSV Verdun's airlock. He is still unaware of my premature departure from the team, even though at this point pretty much the whole crew - including Rachel - has been informed.

Whatever my future in terms of deployment is, I want to spend these days of "shore leave" with Elia. She doesn't know I'm on the Citadel, and I asked Jonas not to inform her. This little surprise reunion I'm planning, however, won't keep me from having to work, as I do need to address both the matter of my re-deployment, and that of Iris' relocation. She has been allowed to stay on the ship until I find her a place to stay, or until the Verdun's departure, which is in three days. I do not doubt that people like Commander Corthias or Captain Reed would put her in an orphanage. In a way, me being in charge of this task is fortunate for her: be it the feeling that she wouldn't be safe there - or the resentment for orphanages based on personal experience - I find the idea of leaving her in one repulsive.

That is what keeps going through my mind for almost the entirety of my walk to Elia's flat. I arrive at my destination without having found a real solution. The best one that comes to mind would be to rent a small flat or hotel room for her, but I'm not sure how easy finding one will be, with all the people that have moved to the Citadel since the war started. Unsatisfied with the results of my brainstorming, I let go of the line of thought, and instead focus on the moment I'll be able to hold Elia again.

"Uhm, hello? Eliana Ezail" I say in a made-up, sales-pitch-like voice, "I'm here to talk to Ms. Eliana Ezail. Are you home?". A muffled, yet recognizable voice comes from behind the door, "I swear to God, Kara, if it's another guy handing out enlistment pamphlets...". The door opens, "Yes, what do...". A squeal of excitement interrupts her mid-sentence; she leaps towards me and wraps her arms around me. The many times this event has repeated itself ensure that I don't get knocked to the ground when she jumps in my arms.

* * *

A knock on the door echoes in the living room. "Were you two expecting visits?" I ask, looking towards Kara and my sister with a confused expression. Elia shakes her head, and I get up to open the door. "Perhaps Jonas decided to swing by and say hello," I try and guess. When I open the door, I realize that it's not him. I do, however, recognize who knocked. Not by their face, but rather from their mask: it's Taria'Nari, the quarian on our team. "Cute place," she says, taking a small peek inside, waving to Elia and Kara. "Yeah, it's cozy. Why are you here?" I say. "Straight to the point. I like it," she replies. She hands me a folded sheet of paper, which I assume is a message. "Romantic at heart, huh?" I tease her, "Extranet's too impersonal for you?". I unfold the note and find an extranet address written in ink on it. A small doubt sneaks its way into my thoughts, believing for a moment that she is actually doing what I teased her about. "Did... did you just give me your number?"

"In a way, I guess," she says, chuckling lightly. "Look, don't flatter yourself, you bosh'tet. I need a favor from you, contact me on this address when you get the chance.".

"A favor?" I ask, confused. "You heard me," she answers, "I'll send you the details once you've contacted me. See you around.". She starts walking down the hallway, before turning towards me again, "Oh, almost forgot, I'm not the best hacker out there.". I close the door and walk back to the table where Kara and Elia are.

* * *

I log onto my omnitool, holding the small sheet of paper Taria handed me earlier. Character for character, I type out its contents, which connects me to an extranet page. On the page is a set of security questions, asking me to state my name, rank within the Alliance Navy, name of my sibling... questions to which Taria knows the answers. The last one reads, "Taria'Nari vas Idenna nar Rayya is the greatest hacker in the known galaxy. Do you agree?". Scoffing, my finger immediately hovers over the "yes" button. What Taria said right before she left resonates in my head, "_Almost forgot, I'm not the best hacker out there_."

Without me even noticing, my finger is now hovering on the "no" button, only hesitating for a few instants before actually pressing it. A brief, jingle-like sound comes out of my omnitool, as it displays a big green checkmark. After a couple of seconds, the screen changes back, now showing a chat room with an anonymous user. Immediately, a message appears on my screen, "I was beginning to think you wouldn't show.".

"Well, I was too busy playing twenty questions," is what I type back, also asking her to tell me what this favor is all about. "All in due time," she replies almost instantly, then asking me if I remember that time where I got into a fight with a bunch of drunken batarians at a bar.

"You hacked my files, didn't you?". Once again, I get my reply with such haste that it almost seems like the messages are pre-written, "Nope. Just looked at some old article. You made local news on Zakera ward." She then follows up by linking the piece of news she mentioned.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask her.

"Mind paying it a visit and walking down memory lane? I'll meet you at the counter."

As I'm about to switch off my omnitool, a follow-up message arrives, "And remember: don't buy any drinks to strangers, _Clyde._". I'm guessing this is another clue, like the "not the best hacker" one. As for the name, I reckon it's a cover. Before I have time to ask her to clear my mind of any doubts, a notification informs me that the unknown user has disconnected.

* * *

The loudness of the music in this place makes it hard to hear my own thoughts, which is likely the reason why Taria decided to meet here. After waiting over fifteen minutes for her to show up, I ask the turian bartender for a beer. He puts it down on the counter, leans towards me and says, "Last time I saw you here, I lost six loyal clients and a set of glasses. Do I need to buy a new one now, just in case?". I chuckle, "Is there another group of drunk batarians who wants to skin me alive because I'm with the Alliance? If not, then you have nothing to worry about."

"I sure hope so," he scoffs before walking away to serve other customers. I take a sip from the beer bottle and look around me, trying in vain to find Taria amidst the crowd. "Are you waiting for someone, or do you just like to look broody?" I hear from my left. I turn around to see the woman sitting beside me at the counter facing me. "Maybe a little bit of both," I say, looking at her. Brown hair collected in a rather short ponytail behind her head; looking at her face, I'd say she's around her mid-thirties. The lights in the club make it a little hard to identify the precise color of her eyes, but it seems to be brownish, just like her hair.

She chuckles briefly at my response. "Well, I'm out of creds. Care to buy me a drink.". Her slightly pushy approach - and her immediate request for a drink - suggest me that we were meant to meet, and that Taria is likely the one behind this; therefore, remembering her last message before logging off, I tell her no. She looks at me, a smirk forming on her face. "Well, fair enough," she says, "I'm Bonnie, by the way.". I introduce myself with the fake name that Taria texted me, which immediately makes me realize that yes: we were indeed meant to meet. Taria shows up just a few instants later, "Look at you two - so cute."

"Bonnie and Clyde, huh?" I say, "Clever.". She sits down beside _Bonnie_, "Well, the extranet said that they were a famous human couple. Had you two been quarian, I'd have gone with Heri and Yanna.". A shake of her head and a "nevermind" is her response to the puzzled looks the two of us gave her.

"In any case, the weather outside is lovely. Shall we go for a walk?" Taria suggests, likely hiding a smirk under the helmet. "You barely sat down," I remark. "And we're on a space station," Bonnie adds. Taria stands up. "Did I stutter?" she says, before making her way to the exit. Bonnie looks at me, shakes her head, and follows suit. At this point, her continuous joking around almost makes it so that, in order to follow through on this favor, I need to remind myself that being kicked out of the team means I probably won't have to see her again.

* * *

"Isn't this part of the Ward charming? The lights, the view, the wonderful people." Taria says after about an hour of walking, as we wander through a series of unlit alleyways, filled to the brim with unsavory and boozed-up characters eyeing us, almost as if waiting for the perfect opportunity to mug us. The pungent stench of alcohol, vomit, and garbage is apparently too much for Bonnie's nostrils to handle, as she walks the entire road with a hand in front of her nose. Taria, on the other hand, has the benefit of turning off her suit's olfactory systems, which I'm assuming she did before leading us into this place. I'm the only one out of the three of us able to endure the smell; after all, it's just like home.

Taria makes us take a turn into an even darker, dead-ended alley. Once we've reached its end, Taria calls for a "kiddo" to come out. The lack of a response makes her sigh out loud and say, "_In the alley, Ally."_.

"Wasn't so hard, was it?" A voice answers from behind us. We turn around to see a figure sitting in a dark corner. It stands up and comes toward us, revealing the face of a girl that can't be older than nineteen. "It's ok, Sarah," She says, "You can come out now.". A small, rusty door opens, and a smaller, shier figure timidly steps out of it, then hastily rushes towards the other, grabbing her hand and leaning against her once she reaches her. From a first glance, I'd say they're sisters; however, the differences in their appearance are evident. The eldest of the two is blonde, and with brown eyes; whereas the youngest, Sarah, has raven hair and eyes of a curiously familiar deep green color. Even though it is all just guesswork, I'd say she's around the age of ten. What puzzles me are their clothes: they are clearly of cheap make, yet too clean for them to be living in the streets; in the streets I grew up in, people would look in great envy at such cleanliness.

"Have you got it, Ally?". The older girl nods and turns on her omnitool: another commodity people back home would dream of. Taria turns her own omnitool on and syncs it with Ally's. "It's all in there," the girl says, "personnel, shifts, guard patrol routines... When you go in, it should be Teris and Kaius' shift on guard duty on Sector 3. They're dumb and easily distractable. Start chatting with them about _Fleet and Flotilla,_ and you can stall them for an entire day."

"Appreciate it, kid," Taria says as he kneels down at Sarah's height and puts a hand on her shoulder. She, who had been staring at the floor for the duration of the conversation, glances up at Taria. "This... this is the last one, right?" She says, shyly. "Yeah, I promise," Taria says, as she reaches into one of her suit's many pockets, pulls out a credit chit, and hands it to Ally, "Auntie Taria's got you covered.". Ally looks at the chit for a second and says, "I thought you said you'd pay us when the job was done?". Taria stands back up. "Yeah, it's a little extra on the house. Take care," she says before they thank her and leave.

After the two girls are gone, I walk up to Taria, wanting a much-awaited answer to all this, "Can we cut it with all the scavenger hunt shenanigans and skip the part where you tell me what this favor is about?"

"Yeah, yeah, chill," she says, "I was going to, anyway, now that we're all set for the heist."

"All set for the what now?"

* * *

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	17. XVII - The Heist (Part I)

**Chapter XVII – The Heist (Part 1)**

"Taria, if you think that I'm going to help with a heist, you're sorely mistaken," I snarl at her, the volume of my voice kept low enough to avoid any unwanted eavesdroppers in the nearby alleys. "Wait," Bonnie says, facing Taria with a puzzled expression, "he didn't know?". Taria shrugs, "Yeah, I may have left that detail out. You know these Alliance types, he never would have accepted if I lead with that." Bonnie scoffs and shakes her head. "Right. Lying's the perfect way to get someone to join you," she answers. Taria sighs, "So, you're going to rat us out?".

"I'm tempted," I stone-coldly tell her, before turning my back on her and beginning to walk away. "We're stealing eighty-nine billion credits. Do you even know what you could afford with that amount?". I stop for a moment and turn back towards her, "Don't know; don't care. You're not bribing me."

"Just under eighty-nine hundred fighter drive cores. Or a cruiser. Or they could be spent to arm a shit-ton of ground soldiers. Or even to house and feed the refugees on the Citadel, if you're feeling charitable.". She stops and walks towards me before continuing, "Look, I'm a quarian. I've spent my whole life living with little, or nothing at all. I wouldn't even know what to do with all that money, so I'm giving it to people who do. It's all going to the war effort.".

After years of living on streets where almost everyone was willing to stab you in the back for a quick buck, I usually can tell whether to trust someone, whether to give them the benefit of the doubt or to leave well enough alone. However, in front of me is a person whose species I have rarely interacted with, and whose face I can't see. These clues all tell me not to trust her, but then again, these are the same reasons some people view quarians as untrustworthy, ill-willed thieves. So, against every bone in my body, I say, "Alright, this better be good. Brief me up, and I'll make my mind up later. I'm keeping my eye on you.". Taria chuckles, approaching me in a jokingly flirty way, "Well, you were going to do that anyway.". Being this close, I can see the glow of one of her eyes winking at me from behind the mask. I shake my head and follow her out of the alley.

* * *

Taria leads us to an apartment in the lower parts of the ward. The only room inside is dark and, except for a table covered by large sheets of cloth in the center, stripped of any furniture. As Taria removes the covers, the nature of the table catches my eye: it is almost the same kind as the ones found in comm rooms aboard warships, and just as capable of creating holograms as them, I'm sure. I ask her how she got her hands on such equipment. Being busy booting it up, she taps twice on a side, pointing my attention toward a Cerberus insignia. A hologram depicting the diagram of a building appears once Taria has finished turning the machine on. She then loads what I can only assume is the intel given to us by the two girls in the alley, Ally and Sarah. A few dots and lines make their way onto the hologram, on the outside of the building. "Right, these should be the patrol routes," Taria mutters under her breath.

"Alright then, let's get started," She says, enthusiastically clapping her hands once, "For this job, I needed a hacker, a combat expert, a biotic, and a thief. The hacker is obviously yours truly, Bonnie is the combat expert, and Clyde is the biotic. As for the thief, she should be here any minute," She says before stopping and looking around herself briefly, "But I'm fairly certain she's here already, isn't she?"

"You got some sweet detection software in that suit, don't you?" I hear a voice say out of nowhere. "I do. But that one was just guesswork.".

"Fair enough," I hear from behind me. I turn around just as she deactivates her cloak. A frail figure reveals herself to us, her face mostly covered in the shroud of darkness created by the black hood she wears.

"Right, introduction time. Guys, meet Ronin. Ronin, meet Bonnie and Clyde." She waves at us with a silly smile on her face, "I thought you guys would be older... and with way more bullet holes in your bodies.".

"Wait," Taria whispers, turning towards Ronin, "That's how Bonnie and Clyde's story ends?".

"Yeah, you said you read an extranet page about it."

"Should've read all of it, I guess. Well, too late to change now. Let's move on with the briefing."

She zooms the hologram in, directing our attention to one of the back entrances, marked with a large number three on the wall beside it. "According to Ally's intel, this entrance will be overlooked by these two," Taria explains. Two pictures appear on the hologram. "Aaron Kaius and Hannah Teris," she says, pointing at each image, "Ally says that they're easily distractable if we engage in a conversation about _Fleet and Flotilla_. I should have another enviro-suit stashed away that looks similar to Shalei's. I could ask them what they think of my cosplay as a conversation starter. While they're busy fangirling, Ronin will sneak past them and into a hatch. Bonnie, Clyde, you'll be waiting. Ronin will plant a hacking device in their main computer, deactivate the cameras, block the comms, and open another backdoor into the facility for the rest of us to use. That's how we get in; any questions so far?"

"What's the device Ronin will be planting?" I ask her. She chuckles, "I might give you an accurate answer, but I haven't got the next few hours to spare. The main computer holds access to the servers where the credits funnel through and are stored, but it is obviously defended both from physical access and hacking. It can't be hacked remotely because of the security systems and locally because of the bullets you'd get shot with. Ronin is good enough to get there without being seen, but she won't stay long. The device allows me to access the main computer from any other terminal its twin is planted in, provided they're connected somehow. In simpler words, it allows me to access the credits from any other terminal in the facility. Any other questions?"

"Yeah," Bonnie says, "why do you have a Fleet and Flotilla getup?"

"Ask me again, and there won't be a soul in this galaxy that doesn't know all of your secrets."

"Touchy, touchy," she says, mockingly, "what do we do once we're in?"

"Right," Taria resumes, as the hologram switches from an outside view of the building to an inside one. "The door we go through will bring us into a depot," she says, zooming in on the room she's talking about, "as you can see, there's a big-ass door on this end. Keep it in mind, Clyde, you'll need it later. There's going to be hostiles in the room; we need to take them out without being noticed; Bonnie, that's where you come in. Clyde, you can help her, but keep it quiet. Once we're clear, I'll plant the other device at the shipping log terminal and transfer all the credits I can to several other untraceable accounts. The hangar door can be opened from the terminal, but they'll have likely locked down all systems by the time we finished stealing the credits. That's why we need a biotic, Clyde; you're going to brute-force it.". I nod slightly, prompting her to carry on, "Once it's open, all hell's going to break loose. There'll be enemies on the other side; we'll also have hostile reinforcements coming from behind us shortly after, so we either make quick work of those in the hangar, or we get killed. That hangar contains every chance they have at following us, as well as three large cargo shuttles we're going to hijack. I can fly one, and I know Bonnie and Ronin can too. Any questions before we get to the last part?"

The room is silent, leading Taria to let out a satisfied sigh, delighted to see that her explanation was clear enough for the three of us. "Very well, then," she resumes, "the hangar is where we'll make our stand. Bonnie and Clyde will hold off the enemies, I'll hack the cargo shuttles' onboard computers to unlock them, and Ronin will plant explosive charges on all the other shuttles so that they don't pursue us. Once I've unlocked all three, we leave and head to a safe house I have prepared. Then, and this is the most important step, we party hard."

Taria walks over to me, looking at me straight in the eye, "So? Made up your mind yet?".

"You explained your plan, Taria," I tell her, "not why I should choose to come with you."

"Really?" she replies, slightly annoyed, "I told you we're helping the war effort."

"Stealing from who?"

"You're kidding, right?" she says, genuinely surprised. "I know I didn't say it specifically, but I thought you understood it by yourself." I shake my head. "Very well," she sighs, "which organization in this galaxy has enough money and influence to store this many weapons and credits right under the Council's nose?" she says in a mocking voice, almost as if she was trying to have a child guess it. Before I can respond, she answers the question herself, "That's right, kids! It's Cerberus!"

After a few moments of silence, she breathes deeply, "Look. If there's something about you that I can see without hacking your files, it's that you're determined to do anything to end this war. You don't want to sit around, but they kicked you out of the team; it's going to be a while before they redeploy you, and right now, this is the best you can do to help."

She's right. I've never been a 'by the book' kind of guy. I don't like the idea of embarking on an unauthorized, illegal mission with a team of unknowns. But if it helps, and the drawbacks are nowhere near close to outweighing the benefits, so be it. "I'm in," I tell Taria.

"Whoo, that's the spirit, Ezail," Taria shouts, her voice full of enthusiasm. A few moments go by before she stops her cheering and realizes, "Shit, I said your name, didn't I?".

"You did," Bonnie says, "but honestly, these codename shenanigans have already gotten old. I don't need to hide my identity. Why'd you tell us to use them anyway?". Taria shrugs, "I don't know. So the heist would feel like a spy vid? I thought it sounded fun."

"Of course you did," Bonnie sighs, before turning towards me and reaches to shake my hand, "Ryla Kessir. Nice to meet you.". I shake her hand and tell her my full name.

"Well, since we're doing this..." Taria tells Ronin. "Ugh. Do I have to?" she says, unenthusiastically, "I wouldn't mind keeping my name a secret.".

"Your choice. Anyway, if there are no further questions, I'll be seeing you tomorrow morning," Taria tells us.

"Yes, actually," Ronin says, "How exactly will we be giving what we steal to the war effort. It's not exactly like we can turn up at someone's door with eighty-nine billion credits and three shuttles worth of weapons."

"You needn't worry about that. They're going to investigate if an N7, a former N7, a quarian hacker, and a thief transfer the money. They're also going to investigate if they receive it anonymously. But what if it was given to them by a more powerful and wealthy figure as a 'gift'?. Someone like the Shadow Broker. An insignificant couple of millions will go to an account I have created for Ally and Sarah. The rest goes to the Broker; they're willing to gift it to the war effort for us. Apparently, the war's even gotten them scared straight. They're only going to keep a million in exchange for something for Ally and Sarah. What that is, I can't tell you."

"Because you don't know?" Ronin asks.

"Because there are some people whose privacy I don't break, but I protect," she says, her voice turned serious, "those two girls already went through a lot. Best if strangers stay out of it.".

"Don't worry, we will," I try and comfort her, "I know it's hard seeing someone you care about in those conditions."

"Thanks," she says, taking a deep breath. "Anyway, you're all dismissed; see you tomorrow morning. If one of you is hungover, I'll kill them myself."

* * *

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	18. XVIII - The Heist (Part 2)

**Chapter XVIII - The Heist (Part 2)**

"Captain Reed did _what_?" Caryll says, abruptly trying to lift himself and get out of the hospital bed, only to halt instantly after letting out a grunt of pain. The injuries he suffered on Anhur still ache, even though it is already evident that he'll fully recover, "He kicked you out for standing up to Karium?"

"I _did _almost kill her," I say as I help him lay back down on the mattress, "as much as I disagree, I can't really blame him.". He lets out a sigh, "I suppose. Is this goodbye, then?"

"Hopefully not," I tell him, "but I definitely won't be with the team on Tuchanka."

"Neither will I," he says, "and you have no clue how much it pisses me off. If they end up fighting side by side with some krogans without me, I'm killing all of them and then myself."

His words leave me perplexed, "What makes them think you're not gonna recover in time for the mission?". He looks at me and chuckles, "Mission's two days from now, mate. There's no way I'm ever going to be back in shape that quickly."

"Our last assignment was three days ago," I say, confused, "Why are they deploying the team so early?". Caryll sighs. "Alright, look," he says, making gestures at me to come closer before starting to whisper, "Fairly certain I'm not supposed to tell you, but this mission's something big. They've tasked us with infiltrating and sabotaging a Reaper stronghold so that they can't send reinforcements against the main force."

"And what will the 'main force' be doing?"

"Curing the genophage, if all goes well."

* * *

As I try to lift the duffle bag containing my gear, I almost can't resist the temptation of hoisting it with my biotics. Walking around the Citadel while carrying something biotically would entail heaps of funny looks, however, and attention isn't something one wants while carrying military-grade equipment in a civilian area. It's fairly early in the morning, at least, and most people should either be asleep or having breakfast; either way, too occupied to mind someone else's business.

Ironically, just as I finish that thought, my doorbell rings. I frantically start scouring the back of my mind for any information that could help me deduce who my unexpected guest is. I usually wouldn't be so paranoid about it, but the twenty kilos of combat equipment and my recent decision to participate in an illegal heist might be making me a tad nervous. Elia and Kara are still asleep in the other room, so it can't be either of them. The only ones on my former team who know my home address are Jonas and Taria, the latter of which I'm supposed to meet in another place, which leaves my puzzle with just one possible solution.

If I knew I'd be so wrong at guessing, I'd have hidden the duffle bag. Jonas wouldn't have questioned it if I asked him not to. But Jonas isn't the one at my door; instead, a white face with red markings, belonging to a snarly, unbearable turian: Karium. She moves her mandibles as if to speak, but isn't fast enough to do so before I shut the door in her face.

Numerous questions arise, "_does she honestly think I'll have her at my place?_", "_Should I try to use kindness this time to get her to leave me alone?_", "_would the war effort really feel her loss if I were to biotically yank her around?_". But most importantly, "_why the hell is she here?_". This particular one seems to be the most appropriate to ask from the other side of the closed door. "I have a feeling you won't believe me if I tell you I'm here to apologize."

"Good guess," I say, engaging the lock system on the already closed door, "Now, why are you here _really_?". Karium lets out a grumble loud enough for me to hear, "I'm being honest, Ezail. I want to apologize for what happened."

"Because Corthias told you to, didn't he," I say. "Actually, he specifically told me not to when I brought forth this subject. But here I am," she says, in a tone of voice so calm that I almost can't recognize her as the person who verbally assaulted me on the ship. For some unknown reason, I'm inclined to believe her. If there was someone to ask me why I'm not sure I could give them an answer: Karium's not one I can picture disobeying an order from her CO. And yet...

Against what even I would've expected, I open the door. When I do, we both stare at each other and share a few awkward moments of silence. "How'd you find this address?" I ask her. As she opens her mouth, I interrupt her, "Actually, if it involves that quarian creep, I don't want to know.".

"Well, in that case...". The taciturnity between us resumes and lasts another couple of seconds. "Yeah, I'm not inviting you in, if that's what you're wondering," I tell her.

"Worth a shot," she says, crossing her arms. "Look, I..."

"I'm sorry for trying to kill you, Karium," I interrupt her. The look on her face is so full of astonishment that you could swear she just saw a guy kill a Reaper with his bare fists, and yet it's not even close to how bewildered I am; the words just slipped out, as if it wasn't even me saying them.

"Well, I... I'm happy you said that, Ezail," she says, still wearing a surprised expression on her face.

"Right. You're sorry too, all is sort-of forgiven, and we can both go our merry ways," I say coldly.

"No, wait," she stops me, "I need to say this, Ezail. When we fought, at one point, you asked me if I was trying to piss you off on purpose. Looking back, I think I was.". With her words comes a sort of realization. She was. She was trying to piss me off. How her behavior the first time we met and the one when we thought didn't match at all, how she recoiled when I asked her if angering me was her aim... how she mentioned Matol... how did she know about Matol? And why would she ever bring it up so casually? "_There's one thing I can't wrap my head around, though... what exactly happened on Matol?_". Her voice resonates in my head as if she just repeated it. That's what she said when we fought. She didn't get lucky with that weak spot: she was aiming for it; she _knew _it was there, and she knew it would hurt me.

After that realization, I almost regret forgiving her and apologizing immediately. It's not what she did that angers me: it's the reason why. And that is what her to explain now. But she doesn't, "I don't know why I did it. I only realized that I was doing it on purpose much later.".

"Forget about it," I say, "Let bygones be bygones."

"Thanks. It means a lot.". She falls quiet for a few instants, before trying to change the subject as if to make small talk, "So, what's in the bag."

"Weapons and armor; I'm off to the range," I say instinctively, "I think it's about time you left, Karium. I'm glad we sort of forgave each other, but we're still far from being friends. Sorry if I sound rude, but ours wasn't exactly a fight over the last donut at breakfast."

"You can say that again," she replies with guilt in her eyes, "I gave you a damn panic attack."

"And I almost killed you," I tell her, "I'd say we're even."

She chuckles softly and nods, "Yeah... sorry for bothering you," she says as she starts walking away.

"Don't be," I stop her, "I don't know if I'd have had the guts to come to your house and apologize. I respect that."

She smiles slightly and nods, before disappearing in the concoction of hallways that is the Citadel. _I'd better get going too, _I think, grabbing the duffle bag in one hand, which will undoubtedly be sore as hell by the time I meet the rest of the team.

* * *

"There he is," Taria exclaims once I join her in the alley, opening her arms as if she was an extranet show host. Had she not done that, I admit that I'd have not recognized her: I was getting used to her black and grey enviro-suit getup that seeing her in a black and white outfit with a red hood threw me off a little. Ryla shows up just a few moments later, also carrying a duffle bag, albeit with much less effort than me. She's physically fit, sure, but, much like me, not imposingly well built; therefore, I assume that duffle bag contains light armor.

"So," I say, "we're waiting for Ronin, I guess.". Taria chuckles, right before Ronin's voice comes out of nowhere, "I thought you'd have learned by now," she teases, deactivating her cloaking.

"Does law enforcement want you that badly that you have to make yourself invisible everywhere you go?" I tease back. "Nah, not really," she shrugs, "It's just for fun. C-Sec doesn't even know my name."

"Well, neither do we," I joke. "Well... we get through this, and I might reward you with such information.".

Taria calls for our attention. "Deal," I swiftly tell Ronin before turning towards the quarian. "So, you all know what you need to do. Ronin, get that cloak back on and be ready to sneak in," Taria says before peeking from the wall and looking towards the guards at the entrance of the building, "I'll go work my charm on those two idiots, you guys be ready," she tells Ryla and me, "Once I get back to you, we'll go in. There's a small room before entering the depot; you'll gear up in there."

"Roger that," Ronin says, disappearing towards the building. "Right," Taria says, "Derek, Ryla, the guys on the inside are with Cerberus, so they're fair game. These morons on the outside are with a private security group, however. They're committing a highly criminal act, but we're not Spectres; we have no life and death authority over them."

"Sounds a bit stupid," Ryla complains. "I know. I want to remind you that the money will be donated to the war effort by the Shadow Broker, so everyone's going to think that the heist was carried out by his agents. C-Sec won't mind if the Shadow Broker kills a bunch of Cerberus operatives, but they might stick their nose in if we kill those other cretins, and then they'll find out who actually did it."

"Makes sense," I say, "let's get on with it."

"I like your spirit, Derek. Here goes nothing," she says, before starting to approach the guards.

While we wait for them to do their jobs, hidden in the alley, Ryla and I open our duffle bags to ready our gear to be able to equip it as quickly as possible once we're in. As per usual, I put on my armor's vambraces and gently lift the duffle bag from the ground with my biotics. The azure plaques on the armor glow, indicating that they are working as intended. I then load a clip into my gun without turning the safety off, just so I won't have to do that later.

Ryla looks at the piece of armor I'm wearing with curiosity on her expression, "Never seen that kinda armor before. You an N7 Fury?"

"_Wrath_," I correct her, "armor's still experimental, so it's not an official specialization yet. And I'm guessing you're an N7 Shadow?" I say as she takes out her armor to check for any issues. The armor is definitely a Shadow's, but with a few modifications, and no N7 insignia. This time, it's her turn to correct me, "I _was _an N7 Shadow. Dishonorable discharge.". I nod and look down, not knowing how to answer. I don't want to say anything that'll anger her, so I just play dumb and ask her what happened. She sighs, "I'm not nearly drunk enough to tell you.". I nod again, showing what little sympathy I can. "So," I say in an attempt to change the subject, "You big on swords?"

"Well... not really," she says, grabbing a compound bow and a quiver full of arrows from the duffle bag. She looks at me for a few seconds, "Yeah, that's usually everyone's reaction."

"A _bow_?" I ask, thoroughly confused. "Very well," she sighs, "do you know how kinetic barriers work?".

"They deflect incoming bullets.". Ryla nods, "And if I were to punch you while your shields are up, would that be deflected?"

"No, it's too slow. Barriers wouldn't interact with it."

"Exactly," she says, telling me to come closer and take a look, "barriers are designed to block projectiles the mass of a grain of sand traveling at several times the speed of sound, not large arrows a hundred times slower than that. These things have mass effect fields boosting their velocity, so they can go through your average armor without even minding its shields. But unless you can ace almost every shot, it's not that reliable.". I chuckle slightly, "And I'm guessing you make it reliable?"

"Oh. That's for damn sure."

"All is good on my end, Taria. You can go in," Ronin's voice says over the comms. "Well, it's been great chatting with you, but I should really get to the convention. Everyone's gonna love my cosplay," Taria didn't broadcast any part of her conversation with the guards; however, she purposefully said this one over the radio to inform Ronin that she's received the message. Ryla and I grab our duffle bags and wait for Taria to join us, which she does in a matter of seconds. "_Bonnie_, _Clyde. _You ready to go?"

"Yeah. Let's do this."

Taria leads us to the now open secondary backdoor. Just as she said during the briefing, there is no personnel guarding it; they evidently did not expect anyone to be able to access it anyway. We walk through the door and into the small chamber that goes into the depot. We take just a couple of minutes to gear up. Putting the armor directly on top of my civilian clothes feels somewhat wrong, even if the under armor is almost utterly useless at stopping bullets anyway. What feels even more irritating is having to put a helmet on, which is something I prefer not doing when necessary: once the biotic fatigue kicks in, it becomes hard to breathe inside those things. But I guess it makes sense to be hiding our identity for a job like this.

"Your time to shine, Ryla," Taria whispers, while the door leading into the depot slides open. She chuckles confidently, plucking an arrow from her belt quiver and nocking it on the bowstring, ready to be shot when necessary. Taria instructs us to take the first corridor to the right to go towards the shipping terminal. As soon as we do, a guard a few meters ahead of us steps into the aisle, turning his head toward us. Before he even has time to even think about calling for help, an arrow plunges itself into his forehead, coming out bloodied on the other side. As I turn towards her, Ryla is already nocking a new one on the string.

We make our way to the terminal, spotting two Cerberus agents by it: one of them is using it, the other is looking around to see if everything is as it should be. Ryla signals Taria and me to halt; she unsheathes a knife, skillfully letting it perform a cartwheel before carefully grabbing it by its razor-sharp blade and handing it to me. "Do you know where to strike with that?" she asks me, prompting me to shake my head. "Ideally, you're gonna want to slash the jugular. If not, under the armpit's good enough. Whatever you do, don't go for the heart - there's no way you're getting past the armor with a knife," she instructs me.

"Right, so what do you want me to do?" I ask. "Go over there, in the aisle to the left, the one nearest to the terminal. Pull the guy looking around toward you with your biotics and stab him; I'll take care of the other."

"Gotcha," I say, silently making my way to where she directed. Once I do, I turn back towards her and wait until she gives me the signal, which she eventually does after a few instants spent assessing if the situation around her had changed while she taught me how to slice someone's jugular. As soon as I see her nod, I pull the guard towards me with enough force that his helmet detaches itself from the rest of the armor when he hits the scaffolding behind me. Looking at his face, I can tell that the head trauma left him conscious, yet was strong enough to leave him immobile on the ground, unable to speak beyond a weak, gravelly whimper. He's definitely out of the fight as he is, but I'm not risking him getting up later and calling for help: I quickly dash towards him, putting him in a chokehold with my left arm, while my right hand sticks the knife in the side of his neck. Blood promptly starts pouring from the wound, spurting on my arm; his unnaturally electric-blue eyes staring up at mine, as his breath fades away.

I look towards the terminal just inside to see Taria shoving the corpse of the Cerberus agent aside, planting her device on the computer, and whispering an order in Ryla's ear, who promptly nods and runs toward me.

"Ouch. That'll take a bit to clean off," Ryla chuckles, pointing at the blood spatter on my armor. "Yeah, that's why you wear under armor, I guess," I quip back, referring to the blood that flowed off of my vambrace, staining the civilian clothing underneath, "Thank God I didn't wear my favorite shirt." I'm joking, clearly; it's actually the absence of my leather jacket beneath the armor that brings me relief - staining that one would have been an unforgivable sin.

"We still have to clear the room," she tells me, pointing upwards at the top of some scaffolding, "see if you can get up there and spot the enemy for me.". I nod before biotically lifting myself five meters. As soon as I reach the top, I crouch down to avoid being seen by those below. This position does indeed offer a good vantage point when it comes to spotting threats, but there's nothing to hide behind if one of them decides to look up for some reason.

"Need a hand, Ryla?" Ronin says over the comms, decloaking beside her.

"Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me," she almost shouts out loud, "don't ever do that again.".

"Where's Derek?" Ronin asks Ryla, sniggering. She guides Ronin's gaze with one hand until she sees me. "How'd he get up there?". I reply by creating a tiny mass effect field around my arm, engulfing it in that glowing blue color that's typical of biotics. "God, I wish I could do that," she chuckles.

Target after target, patrol after patrol, all enemies in the warehouse fall. There's something considerably pleasing in watching Ryla work - it's satisfying to see her arrows always find their mark. Ronin's not too bad either: nothing excessively stunning, but she's quite the martial artist. The guys whose necks she just snapped would agree with me.

"You're all clear, Taria," I broadcast over the radio, "feel free to begin working your magic.". She acknowledges my message and tells us to keep patrolling the warehouse: it's clear, but there are plenty more in other parts of the structure just waiting to randomly stumble on a dead body and sound the alarms.

"That can't be right," I hear Taria whisper over the comms. I stop and look around, almost paranoid about what she said. She could have just made a minor, easily-fixable mistake. But I know that a small "something's wrong" is usually the first warning of an imminent shitstorm. "What is it, Taria?" I ask, keeping my composure while simultaneously clutching my gun's grip, still inside the holster.

"My observations were way off. The credits flowing through, the Cerberus personnel at the facility, the number of weapons moved in... they all doubled in the past few days. Why would Cerberus store this many weapons here? It doesn't make sense..."

"Unless they were looking to expand their influence in the Serpent Nebula," Ryla remarks, "this area of space is every power-hungry madman's wet dream. Question is, what are they planning _exactly_?"

"From these numbers, it would seem like their planning a ground war here on the Citadel," Taria says, "but even they wouldn't be so crazy as to actually try it. Would they?"

"They're crazy enough to indoctrinate their own with Reaper tech," I comment, "we can't take anything for granted with these guys. We need to get this intel to the Council."

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Ronin adds, "but for once, I'm leaning towards working with the authorities. The higher-ups need to get wind of this."

"They will. Just wait a couple hours until the Shadow Broker helps us with our alibi, then we can say they gave us the information," Taria instructs us.

"Broker's gonna want to hurry then," I say, "who knows how many other warehouses like this Cerberus has on standby. As far as we're aware, they could strike right now."

"Let's focus on the _now _of it all," Ryla remarks, "We have to make it out of here first."

"About that," Taria jumps in, "The credits have all been transferred. We've got ourselves a sweet sum of one-hundred eighty-six billion credits. Some good came out of all this prepping, at least. Derek, I'm gonna need you to take care of the hangar door before they sound the alarm, which could be any second now."

"Rog," I reply before making my way to the hangar door near the shipping terminal. The alarm starts blaring almost as soon as I form the mass effect field on the hangar door. As pain and fatigue slowly start slithering their way into my body, I tell the rest of the team to cover me - if there are enemies on the other side, I'm an easy target. The door is open wide enough for us to start going towards the hangar. As expected, we do receive some enemy fire; luckily, our response, albeit lacking in firepower, is enough for them to be unable to aim accurately, as none of their shots even remotely pass near me.

First Ryla, then Taria, and lastly, a cloaked Ronin walk through the tiny gap in the door; they start engaging the Cerberus agents on the other side, while I use the distraction to slowly start making my way inside the hangar. Every step brings more and more strain on my body, and there's not much keeping me from falling to the floor other than my own willpower; luckily, it's not a virtue I lack. The doors itself are heavy enough for an untrained biotic to be unable to even make them budge; also, I'm fighting off the security systems that are trying their best to shut the doors closed. All in all, it's probably just a few tons I'm moving. It's about halfway through my effort that I rue the moment I put my helmet on; breathing is getting significantly harder every second, and I hate that I can't wipe the sweat from my forehead.

Nearing the door, I don't even care that there is a raging gunfight on the other side that could kill me any instant; for now, there is only that damn finish line. Once my destination has been reached, I let myself tumble on the ground, forming a barrier in front of me so weak that it serves just to discourage the enemy from shooting me, thinking that they're going to waste clips. I'm quite sure, however, that such a barrier couldn't stop a rock thrown by a slingshot. Fortunately, I don't have to face those odds: Ryla grabs my arm and drags me all the way to cover behind a shuttle. Being safe from bullets and eyesight, I take off my helmet and take several deep breaths, which immediately seem to be beneficial to my recovery. "You done already?" Ryla asks, helping me stand up with one arm and prompting me to get back in the fight. "Not even close," I say, panting.

I put the helmet back on, draw my gun from its holster, and start to return fire at the enemy. I peek from cover and throw a few lances, really feeling the strain when I see my lance hit someone and take out their shields, but fail to cause any injury other than a broken rib, at best. Had I not just performed one of my most challenging biotic feats to date, that Cerberus bastard would have definitely died on impact.

As some of the adrenaline starts to wear out, I start thinking more rationally, making a quick assessment of the situation: Taria said that the hangar would contain three cargo shuttles full of weapons, but there are seven resting in the hangar right now. "We can only bring three with us; we're torching the rest," Taria tells me over the radio when I ask her what we're going to do with them. "Do we have enough charges?" I ask her. "No. But the shuttles are carrying explosives. We'll arm those already onboard."

"Who's gonna do that," I ask her. "Who do you think?" Ronin replies. When I look around, she's nowhere to be found, so I assume she's already cloaked and busy.

"Derek," Ryla whispers from beside me, directing my attention to some Cerberus troopers that clearly weren't taught about spacing, "Place a Singularity near those guys.". I do as she instructed, and, as the enemies are yanked around helplessly, an arrow starts flying from my right, exploding like a grenade when it touches one of the soldiers, taking them all out at once.

I keep myself busy by throwing lances at the enemies and forming a few barriers here and there; it's not helping me get over my fatigue. But it is still a better alternative to firing my gun: my body is still shaking, and I can't aim steadily. My lances are at least being very successful at politely convincing the enemy to keep their heads down, giving Taria and Ryla all the time in the world to change their angle of attack every few seconds.

Even though the enemies in the hangar outnumber us around five to one, they find themselves having to hide behind cover. If I was ever skeptical about a bow in open combat, I definitely am not anymore. Witnessing numerous of their comrades catch an arrow between the eyes has made them pretty cautious about peeking from cover to shoot. And I must admit that seeing them cower is quite amusing. It is, in fact, so entertaining that Ronin has finished arming the explosives aboard the four surplus shuttles and has already begun planting the charges on the ones they'd use to pursue us: a task that only takes her a few minutes.

"We're all set," Ronin tells us over the radio. Taria orders Ronin to take off and signals that she's moving towards her designated shuttle. Ryla and I immediately begin to dramatically increase the rate at which we throw arrows and lances at the enemy.

Just as Taria reaches the shuttle, one of the enemies decides to try his luck and shoot her. It doesn't end well for him, as an arrow plunges itself in his throat, but not before a burst of bullets reaches Taria. Her shields absorbed most of the projectiles; the last one, however, delivered a grazing hit on her hip, causing her nimble body to lose its balance and fall over. I get out of cover and start running towards her, narrowly avoiding getting shot like she was. I lunge the last few meters that separate us and put up a barrier to protect her. Miraculously, the time it takes me to cover that distance is less than the time it took for the next hostile to take their chance and deliver the killing blow on Taria. The bullets break themselves against my barrier, and shortly after, an arrow pierces both his helmet and his skull.

Seeing their fellow soldier be killed just a few instants after leaving cover makes the rest hesitate to do the same. Ryla uses this opportunity to engage her tactical cloak, presumably starting to make her way to us. However, her temporary absence is felt, as the hostiles now feel comfortable with raining bullets on my barrier. Luckily, I only have to hold for a few seconds, as Ryla turns off her invisibility behind us and once again starts shooting straight toward the enemies' heads. As per usual, this buys us a few seconds, during which she fires a handful of arrows at the shuttle she was supposed to fly, hitting its engines with seemingly no effect.

She grabs Taria and pulls her up into the shuttle, while I hold the barrier and join them a few seconds later. Ryla rushes to the cockpit and starts the engines, then taps on her omnitool a few times; the arrows she shot at the other shuttle's engines start letting out fiery flashes and sparks. "I can't see from here, Derek," she shouts, "did the thermites go off?"

"Looks like it," I shout back, closing the hold doors, "we're good, take off.". Ryla hastily does as I told her, and within seconds we're a safe distance away to set off the charges. Before I even have to say anything, Taria taps a few times on her omnitool, and immediately my ears distinguish the sounds of explosions amidst the roaring of the engines. Looking out the window reveals the pleasing sight of blazes and smoke coming from the hangar: no shuttle survived.".

The satisfaction of a job well done will have to wait, however: Taria is still wounded. The bullet wound itself is so insignificant that I usually wouldn't worry: a single application of medigel does the trick. However, even such a small wound can quickly get infected, and that's a big problem if you're quarian. Taria needs to be brought to a hospital, but she insists we stash the weapons first; "We can't park a shuttle full of weapons outside a hospital," she says, "besides, a few minutes aren't going to make the difference between life and death. It's mostly a matter of luck.

We radio Ronin to tell her about what happened, given that all she heard were gunshots, shouts, and grunts of pain over the comms. Taria uses her omnitool to transmit the hideout location to both shuttle's navigation computers. "One less truckload of weapons for double the credits. I'll take that trade," she says, laughing, "we did a good job. I'm just sorry I won't be there for the most crucial step of the plan - partying hard. You'll have to handle it yourself while I'm in a stupid hospital bed.".

"About that," Ronin says, "I kinda have this salarian Spectre trying to find me; I'd better avoid crowds. I can't drink with the rest of you, sorry."

"Pity," Ryla says over the radio, "You gonna stay true to your word, though?"

"What?"

"You said you'd tell us your name if we got through this, _Ronin_.".

"Ugh, fine. Kasumi Goto - delighted to meet you. Happy now?"

* * *

"Taria'Nari?" the asari doctor says, walking into the room. Taria raises her hand from the hospital bed she's lying on. "I've got your results," the doctor informs her, "the wound is indeed infected, but it's nothing a few antibiotics can't handle. You can expect fever, dizziness, and fatigue. Just stay here for a day or two so that we can monitor your conditions at all times, should any issues arise. Once you're out, though, you won't be able to go back to active duty for about five days. I already informed your commander that you won't be joining them on your next mission."

Before any of us have time to say anything, she walks back through the door and disappears into the crowded hallway. It seems that Echo 7's numbers are growing thinner every day. Taria, Caryll, and me: the team's down three members. "As I feared," Taria says, "I really won't be joining you for celebratory drinks."

"And neither will Kasumi, I take it," I add, turning my gaze left to look at Ryla, "that leaves just the two of us.".

"Well," she replies, "I don't know about you, but I sure could use a drink after all this excitement.".

"Well, you kids have fun," Kasumi chimes in, "as I said, I'd rather not have that salarian Spectre bust up your night out. Arrests are such a buzzkill...". After she's done talking, she performs her typical magic trick: switching on her tactical cloak and disappearing.

"She's so great at that, isn't she?" Taria says, mocking the voice of a proud mother, "Very well then, I'll leave you to your drinks. Think I'm gonna catch some sleep. Or maybe hack my way into someone's private life, I don't know."

"You do you, Taria," Ryla chuckles, "As for you, Derek, meet me at Purgatory tonight. Seeing as it's only the two of us, I'm officially challenging you to a good old fashioned drink off."

* * *

I make my way to the bar by moving through the crowds with great care: picking a fight with someone simply because they bumped into you is a popular way to vent, and the war's got everyone on edge. I'm thankful that none of the drunks decided to start something while I passed through once I reach my destination. Ryla is already there, waiting for me.

I sit on the free stool beside her that she saved for me. We greet each other, and without losing ourselves in pleasantries, she immediately starts explaining the rules of the duel, "Each round consists in a shot of Ryncol. The first person to quit pays the whole tab.".

"Ryncol, huh?" I say, "Won't take long before we're both on the floor.".

"I'm counting on it. Ready to start?"

"Yep. Just try to keep up, ok?"

A first shot, then another, and another one after that, and we're already starting to feel the buzz. Krogans are extreme about lots of things, and making booze is, without a doubt, one of them.

After a fourth one, we decide to take a small break. "So, Derek," she asks, "Taria said something about you being kicked out of the Alliance... wanna talk about it?"

"From the team," I correct her, "not the Alliance itself. I'm waiting on redeployment.".

"What happened?"

"Well, I... I may have... kinda almost killed a teammate with my biotics."

"Hmm, I understand."

I'm pretty sure she doesn't, but I'm also pretty sure this isn't even a conversation anymore - I'm just blurting out what's crossing my inebriated head, "But they're idiots. Because of a petty fight, they're going to Tuchanka without their best biotic. Plus, Taria and Caryll are injured, so they also won't join them. How do they plan on making it with so few people?"

"Well, as long as they're good," she remarks, "I'm sure everything will work out just fine.".

"Well, yeah. I mean, some of the soldiers on the team are really good. But when it comes to biotics? We have two asari, but one is a sniper, and the other one is a brawler."

"So they're going in without barriers?"

"Well... no. Rachel probably will replace me, but I don't know if she can handle it. She's not very experienced, and this is a crucial mission - we're curing the genophage, for crying out loud!"

"_Shhh!" _Ryla shushes me, looking around herself to check if anyone heard, "you can't just say that in the middle of a club.".

"Yeah, you're right," I tell her, "let's just get back to drinking so I can thrash you.".

"Yeah, you wish," she laughs, "just another couple of shots, and you're a goner.".

"Hah, I've been doing this from before you were even... no, that's not right; you're older than me.".

She chuckles, "so much for that insult.".

"Yeah, whatever. Point is, I'm not a high-schooler. I can handle my booze.". We have a good laugh before we start drinking again. And it's good we did: you should laugh it up while you can...

... because neither of us is laughing when we wake up in the same bed the morning after.


End file.
